Valid reasons to ask courts to get Ex to meet halfway for drop-offs and pick ups

[AmIAStepMumNow]

Hey All,

So my partner has a daughter aged 7 and when he left the FMH he rented locally to be nearby whilst she was a little toddler.
Now he is in an established relationship with me - we started living together in my rental about 30 mins away from his former FMH.
When I sold my former FMH - I chose to move further away... and my partner lost his rental as owner wanted to sell it.

Faced with going back to live with his parents a 4 hour drive away... or moving in with me in my house purchase a 2.5 hour drive from daughter and being unable to afford a new rental on his own.. he chose to move in with me as living costs are same if not bit cheaper than his previous rental.

Now.
For last 12 months he has taken sole responsibility for travel costs to pick up his daughter (£300 a month) and the 270 mile round trip which takes a min of 6 hours

What valid reasons can we state on our C100 that we want the courts to insist Ex meets him halfway or at least one hour drive towards us to save him a bit of time.

• he does own his own car. but its not reliable for a 6 hour car journey so he uses mine.
• in order to pick up daughter on time he has to cut short his working day on a Friday to accommodate the 6 hour round trip (and ensure daughter isn't falling in to bed at midnight!)
• clearly having a tired dad doesnt benefit daughter but we don't want ti imply he isn't safe to drive... but arguably even lorry drivers cannot drive for more than 8 hours and on rare occasions it has taken him nearly that due to diversions or roadworks

Ex refuses to even drive 5 miles down the road.. so our argument has to be compelling enough to convince a judge to sway in our favour.

He is prepared to negotiate... so maybe he does 3 trips and she does 1.
Or meet half way on alternate trips.


Any thoughts?
Yes I know it was him that chose to leave the area - but his choices were limited and he would obviously prefer to be living near his daughter but he can't afford rent or purchase on his own

 

[Resolute]

I think the strongest argument is making the journey better for his daughter, keeping as close as possible to her routine and normal bedtime.

It is a double-edged sword though. This could be morphed into an argument against the long journey.

Maybe I would say what her arrival time is doing it without any assistance from the ex. Then show how much earlier she could arrive if the ex did a 45 minute round trip to assist.

It seems like this could be shaky ground.

Is there an argument for weaving this stuff in further down the road? Does it have to go in the C100?

 

[AmIAStepMumNow]

Thanks Resolute..
I think the late bedtime on the Friday has a knock on effect (she doesnt sleep in on the Saturday and wakes at normal time which is fine).. but the knock on is that by Sunday afternoon (and just before going back to school) she is knackered. Bless her.
Last Sunday she slept in the car for 2 hours which is really unlike her to sleep in the daytime!

She has severe FOMO!!! ha ha
Doesnt want to sleep in case she misses out on cat cuddling time or chatting with us!

 

[Ash]

Normally, the Dad is expected to do all the collections and drop offs, if the child lives with the Mother and spends time with the Father. If you had a shared care order you'd have a stronger case for shared transport, but I can't see you'd get a shared care order with the distance. So unless agreement can be thrashed out at court, that transport will be shared, then it's a very slim chance of having it ordered. But he could try asking for ex to travel part way for handovers during term time, with him doing the travel during holidays.

 

[capa]

Can I ask, does your partner pay CMS? or is it amicably paid?

 

[AmIAStepMumNow]

Can I ask, does your partner pay CMS? or is it amicably paid?For last 4.5 years he paid by private arrangement. This month he reduced it inline with CMS (which wasn't amicably received ) ;-)

 

[Gaz77]

Sorry but I don’t think I spotted what arrangement there is time wise for the daughter with dad and with mum.

Is it 50/50?

I think everything being equal it is reasonable that parents do as much as possible to minimise the impact on the child and the expectation that the father should do all the travelling is clearly not equitable regardless of the arrangement.

I do have shared care with my 3 year daughter and it’s a 5 hour one way trip between my house and mums.

We share the travel. I do collection and then mum does collection and we split the time to every 2 weeks to reduce frequency of travel. That isn’t so feasible of course when our daughter starts school.