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- Thread starter capa
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As I’ve mentioned I’m not that up on divorce - but how come there is a mesher order already, if the finances haven’t been finalised yet? A brief Google told me they are usually only done as part of a consent order. Did you agree to it st some point?
Is there much equity in the house? (Thinking about Magic’s suggestion. But also about the feasibility of two new properties).
Is there much equity in the house? (Thinking about Magic’s suggestion. But also about the feasibility of two new properties).
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No financial order or final order has been submitted yet on advice of solicitor due to other issues aligned with the divorce, I’m awaiting confirmation as to when I can contact the ex , so regarding financial consent nothing has been determined, I’m not aware of what the ex may want from the agreement. Regarding the mesher order it was a scenario the solicitor suggested could happen due to the ex’s substantially less income and was at that point was revealed if a mesher is put in place a clean break order cannot be achieved.
Equity in the property , working out at the bottom end asking price is about 85k once all fees are deducted but that’s an estimate.
I have not agreed to anything yet until communication lines are open, for me personally I want to sell and be done with it
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They can be locked out, but its a minefield to try and ensure your not left open to any approach, the mesher is the killer if its activated
The most important thing is the children involved. This is also the courts approach when it comes to finances. So first and foremost, get the child arrangements sorted as this will also play a part in the financial proceedings with regards to departure from equality in terms of the settlement. Courts also expect both parties to maximise their income.
Lack of communication between you and your ex seems like a tactic unless there are reasons why you can't contact your ex eg, non mol/bail conditions. Delay in proceedings beit child or financial matters really hurts us dads. Your ex should communicate through your solicitor as there is no reason not to.
When communication stops, the only way is to go to court. Don't delay. If there is a non mol, this can be discharged in court so there is no reason for your ex not to communicate. It's generally in their interest not to communicate, so if you take away their reasons/excuses, they have to communicate. If they continue not to, then they will appear contentions and difficult which will hinder their position.
Lack of communication between you and your ex seems like a tactic unless there are reasons why you can't contact your ex eg, non mol/bail conditions. Delay in proceedings beit child or financial matters really hurts us dads. Your ex should communicate through your solicitor as there is no reason not to.
When communication stops, the only way is to go to court. Don't delay. If there is a non mol, this can be discharged in court so there is no reason for your ex not to communicate. It's generally in their interest not to communicate, so if you take away their reasons/excuses, they have to communicate. If they continue not to, then they will appear contentions and difficult which will hinder their position.
On Gov.Uk:
Apply within 12 months of getting the conditional order or decree nisi - otherwise you will have to explain the delay to the court
Basically, you would just explain that you've been sorting finances out but mention this to your Solicitor in passing and see what they say.
If it did expire you'd have to start the 20 week process all over again!
Sorry, typo by me above, which I've now corrected. Mesher order not meagre order!
So are you saying there isn't a mesher order currently? But she is pushing for one? If no agreements can be reached then it would be sorted out in court. She would probably argue that half the equity isn't enough for her to buy another place. Would it be an option to say she can keep the equity in lieu of any pensions claims (assuming you have a pension?) and have a clean break?
As Daddy says, Child Arrangements are important. Depending on how old your son is. How old is he?
So are you saying there isn't a mesher order currently? But she is pushing for one? If no agreements can be reached then it would be sorted out in court. She would probably argue that half the equity isn't enough for her to buy another place. Would it be an option to say she can keep the equity in lieu of any pensions claims (assuming you have a pension?) and have a clean break?
As Daddy says, Child Arrangements are important. Depending on how old your son is. How old is he?
Not currently, this is an assumption, from past arguments with her, after she quoted that her friends ex pays for her to live in the property. It has been suggested to solicitor to sell property and buy a smaller 2 bed apartment for her and i continue paying mortgage on that, but why, she will still be financially tied to me and in a smaller property. The mesher order if she pushes for it will have same scenario , still in old property and me paying, but left open to claims on pension and inheritance as there will be no clean break order
Not seen my son since May and he is 11 , yet we do message each other
It also has been mentioned as an option, unfortunately for me she knows how good my pension is as ex DIL worked for same company
I earn double than ex, and she evns claims UC, so i'm expected a higher percentage,
Hi mate
Picking up something on the thread it is possible to have a mesher order in place AND get a clean break as I did it. The mesher order is ongoing at present.
Once in place ex should pay the mortgage and all household builds etc. A partner being there for say more than 6 months can be a trigger for sale but unless they get married it's nigh on impossible to prove.
In your case you want to avoid court if at all possible on the finances as they are almost certainly going to side with your ex.
I think you need to consider how much you are willing to sacrifice to get the clean break aside from a potential mesher order.
Mesher orders like spousal maintenance are less popular these days but in the circumstances outlined I suspect the court will grant.
Picking up something on the thread it is possible to have a mesher order in place AND get a clean break as I did it. The mesher order is ongoing at present.
Once in place ex should pay the mortgage and all household builds etc. A partner being there for say more than 6 months can be a trigger for sale but unless they get married it's nigh on impossible to prove.
In your case you want to avoid court if at all possible on the finances as they are almost certainly going to side with your ex.
I think you need to consider how much you are willing to sacrifice to get the clean break aside from a potential mesher order.
Mesher orders like spousal maintenance are less popular these days but in the circumstances outlined I suspect the court will grant.
If you haven't seen your son since May then you really do need to get an application in for a Child Arrangements order. If it goes on much longer the court may question why you didn't do it before and assume you weren't too bothered and "abandoned" him. Even though you do have messages,
This can be concurrent with the financial situation. And can also maybe add some leverage to the financial situation. If you have a child arrangements order you're in a stronger position to say no to some things.
I would get your C100 in asap. When does he turn 12?
This can be concurrent with the financial situation. And can also maybe add some leverage to the financial situation. If you have a child arrangements order you're in a stronger position to say no to some things.
I would get your C100 in asap. When does he turn 12?