Update on my case

[algregor]

Update on my case:



I received the cafcass report. No safeguarding issues, no section 7 required.



Issues raised about apparent alcohol issues, but I have 2 normal liver function tests completed in April and December of 2024. Also 97 negative breathalyser test videos submitted to ex over a period of time. Cafcass report states that if I submit this evidence it should be enough to prove I do not have an issue with alcohol, however, it will be up to the judge to decide whether I need to complete a hair strand test as well at the FHDRA.



I've not seen my son in person since 18th Nov 2024 and have only had a 3 minute video call with him on Xmas day since then.



We were doing nightly video calls from 3rd December up until 17th December when we both had our cafcass calls. After this date all contact ceased.



Message from her dad on 18th December stating all contact now to go through solicitors. She will no longer be communicating directly with me due to accused bullying and intimidating behaviour on my part. I contact her solicitor (which I had contact details of via them emailing court and cc'd me in as way of notice on 17th Dec) on 19th December requesting interim in person contact is reinstated. I hear nothing until 30th December when her dad emails me again responding to my email to her solicitor with a load of rubbish, saying they have changed solicitors and they are pending this, I should arrange supervised contact via him moving forward asks for my solicitors contact details. I reply informing him I am litigant in person. Advise of suitable alternative, me collect from nursery, drop off next morning back to nursery. This is rejected. I noticed that her former solicitor let her know I had contacted them on 19th December, half an hour after I emailed him.



Cafcass report states interim daytime contact unsupervised to be reinstated without supervision on the proviso I provide a negative breathalyser test prior to picking my son up. 3rd party to facilitate pick ups and drops offs.



What do you think the chances are that the court will request me to do a hair strand test? Do you think it would be better if I just do one and take it with me to the first hearing just in case? Or not waste my money?

 

[Resolute]

How much are you drinking?

If very little, or not at all, over last 30 days, a peth test would be cheaper. This could be a way of bringing something if you cannot stretch to a hair strand test.

Going by my experience, I'd see it as possible the court will request a hair strand test. A 6 month hair test showing no more than social drinking would be ideal. Your hair length might limit to 3 months.

My first hearing went against me because of alcohol allegations. Second hearing ordered hair strand test. I was not in the clear until the 3rd hearing - 10 months. I think it would have helped if the test was there for my first hearing.

 

[nothernsoul]

Well done mate. Sounds positive.


For now, sadly, mother holds the lions share of power and will continue to make family time difficult for you. Please rise above this, it's a silly short term win for them.


Really positive that CAFCASS are recommending unsupervised contact. Is mum aware of this? You could put that into an email and cut and paste the recommendations. No doubt it will be ignored but you will then have evidence of them acting against professional recommendations.


Beyond everything else, keep playing the long game as well as you are.


In my matter, I paid for a hair strand test simply to nip it in the bud and prevent any delay. I knew it would be clear so was happy to do the 6 month one. I still remember the conclusion. "It is declared that..... had not consumed alcohol since January 3rd 2024."

If you are 100% certain it'll come back clean - I'd be proactive and get it done but make sure the one you do will be accepted by the courts.


Once I had a clear test it was never, ever mentioned again.


Well done mate, keep moving forward.

 

[algregor]

I have not touched a drop of alcohol since November 7th. So I'm thinking of doing a 3 month overview hair strand test with a peth test topper. The hair strand test will only show either I've chronically being abusing alcohol or not. So it should be all good. If I take both those test results to the FHDRA with the other tests I have, that should put it to bed and I they won't ask me to do any other tests surely?

 

[nothernsoul]

There are three outcomes.

Light to abstinence

Moderate / social

Heavy

You'll be in either of the first two.

It's dangerous to predict or assume what the courts would do but I can only comment on my own experiences. And that was that a clean test ended the issue immediately.

 

[Resolute]

When is the FHDRA?

If you are going to pay for both, you could get more than 3 months out of it. A clear Peth is very good evidence. This is what employers use to confirm abstinence in industry.

The hair strand test goes back for three months from 10-14 days before sample collection. Peth could cover that 10-14 days, and potentially more - if you have time before the hearing. Unfortunately, the hair test period would not yet pick up on two clean months. It would go back to late September. This may be an issue if you were drinking heavily from Sep-Nov 8th.

NS is correct not to rely on predictions, the court could order further testing. It is not unheard of for Family Court to be utterly unreasonable. This is why a barrister is so important.

 

[algregor]

I don't have FHDRA date yet. So I guess it would be best holding off until I have that date confirmed. 6 month hair strand test could be tricky for me. So preempting that by doing a 3 month that could be clean would be obviously better situation for me.

I am litigant in person in my case. Do you really think I should maybe pay for a direct access barrister? I feel like I could do a decent job myself, but that might be a bit naive of me?

 

[algregor]

I was thinking maybe I could get a peth test done now. So it shows 1 clean month abstinence, over the Xmas and new year period which will look good in court? Or I guess they don't really care?

Then I can get a 3 month hair strand test around February 20th if it's before the FHDRA date?

 

[Resolute]

I think you could do the 3 month when you are confident in the result. Maybe wait until you have 2 clean months in the test window, say 22nd January. That would cover something like October 10th to January 10th. Then wait until the Peth result would be an additional window. You would then have 4 months with one of them abstinent. This is assuming you have confidence in yourself to stay dry for another 5 weeks.

I am sure you could do a decent job by yourself. But, you do not know the rules of the game and you would not be given the same freedom a barrister has. The court looks down on LIPs and excludes us from the club your barrister would be a part of.

If circumstances allow, representation is the way to go.

Edit

Posted at the same time. I see what you mean about the Christmas period. On balance, I think 4 months of results is of greater value than three months with a crossover.

 

[algregor]

I got a GP letter because I've heard that could maybe be requested, although it hasn't yet been recommended via the cafcass report. It states that there is a note on my record about my alcohol use related to lifestyle back in 2022 when my son was 1 and I was still with his mum. Doesn't state how much I said I was drinking, or that it was discussed as alcohol misuse problem, just in relation to general lifestyle. No issues or problems with alcohol since and the letter states that.

Should I keep this to myself just in case this is spun by my exes barrister in court? Or provide it on first hearing to show, yes, I haven't denied drinking when we were in a relationship, but as you can see from the GP letter, no reported misuse issues since. This is backed up by 2 Liver function tests as well from last year, April and December.

 

[Resolute]

Personally, I would leave the GP letter out of it. If you can provide hair strand and Peth tests from a provider with robust chain of custody for the sample, historic medical evidence shouldn't come into it.

If I was opposing you, the GP letter would make me request full disclosure of medical records.

 

[algregor]

What are the chances of me doing a 3 month hair strand test and peth test let's say, then once I take them to the FHDRA and submit them, she says they aren't enough and she needs a 6 month hair strand test? Should I be cutting my hair to about 4cm or 5cm to anticipate this?

 

[nothernsoul]

Couldn't give a toss what she says.

That'll be down to the court.

If i were you pal. Wait until you know when your hearing is then get the one that will be the longest test period showing low usage.

 

[Resolute]

I agree with NS, nothing you do is going to change what she is saying. It is the court you are playing to, not her.

If you were drinking very heavily up until November, as in an average of:

Two bottles of wine a night;
Three or four full size bottles of whisky a week;
Ten pints a night;

And, I mean Every night!

You might have a problem doing a 6 month test.

If your report of abstinence is accurate, and you were not drinking hyper-excessively in the run up to November, you should be ok.

Also, it is to your benefit for the test period to go back as far as possible.

The allegations are inspired by a vague hope that something might stick. But, the real benefit is how long it takes to consider them. There are no negative consequences to making allegations that turn out to be unsupported.

 

[Yorkdad]

What are the chances of me doing a 3 month hair strand test and peth test let's say, then once I take them to the FHDRA and submit them, she says they aren't enough and she needs a 6 month hair strand test? Should I be cutting my hair to about 4cm or 5cm to anticipate this?

This is similar to my case. I had 3 clear Peth tests self funded for first hearing and she wanted toe nail clippings for a years cover of alcohol!!!. The court was not interested in historic levels and stated that it was unessesary and unhelpful, but to appease her they ordered 3 more peth tests half costs until FH.

So they could ask you to. Peth tests are more accurate and if pressed I would only volunteer these on this basis.

 

[algregor]

Well she's already mentioned privately that her solicitor will be requesting hair strand tests from me. So I guess I have to be prepared for that.

 

[nothernsoul]

Well she's already mentioned privately that her solicitor will be requesting hair strand tests from me. So I guess I have to be prepared for that.

Nope. Not at all.

I could write her a letter and ask for the date thing.

She'd ignore me the same way you should ignore that.

 

[algregor]

So, another update, not sure if I should open this up in a new thread, but anyway.

Still no FHDRA date. But after months of saying she wasn't comfortable communicating with me, my son's mother emailed me out of the blue last night asking to meet and speak in person. I was obviously very sceptical of her intentions due to her recent refusal to have any communication with me anymore because of my historical "threatening and bullying" behaviour. So I emailed back telling her that we should keep communication via email for now. Asking her to clarify why she needs to speak in person, no response.

Earlier today I go for a run and when I get back, as soon as I close the door, doorbell rings. It's her. I did not have enough time to get phone ready to video what happened next, which I'm furious with myself over. She wants to chat, so I agree, stood on my doorstep she threatens me to stop the court proceedings or I will be arrested tomorrow, I ask what grounds and she says historical drunken behaviour during our relationship (we split up over 1.5 years ago). She says she's already been to the police and they have her phone, scanning it for evidence. I tell her I'm not stopping court proceedings as we need a CAO. I'm which she storms off, not before saying I can see my son tomorrow.

She's clearly unhinged. Annoying thing is, because it was all verbal, I have no proof to use that this happened in court. Is there anyway I can still mention this? I'm not bothered by her threats about police as even if she has spoken to them, I've not done anything wrong.

Is there anything I should be doing after this recent event?

 

[algregor]

It's clearly blackmail right?