Hey everyone, this is my first post here so bare with me. I’m hoping any of you can give me tips/advise for my upcoming final hearing from your own experiences etc. Before that here’s my story:
BU with ex in Nov 2019 was amicable. She moved back to Leicester to live with her parents. We had a generous agreement with child arrangements concerning our daughter who was 9 months old at the time. The only thing that was set out was my daughter was to stop over at her paternal grandmothers during overnight stays as I’m a heavy sleeper and may not be able to hear her in the night.
29th April 2020 it all changed. (My ex discovered I was in a new relationship a week prior but contact remained as normal). It was my usual Wednesday spent with my daughter when the ex called me crying asking if my girlfriend is pregnant - I was shocked as I hadn’t yet told her the news. I said yes she was - her reply was I’m picking up my daughter and I will see you in court. From that day on I was denied all contact with my daughter.
I applied for mediation in May 2020 which I attended (over the phone) but my ex did not bother. My ex has lied to my solicitors saying I’ve had random people at my house and the covid pandemic as being reasons for her stopping contact at the time but her main reason for ceasing contact is her safeguarding concerns over our daughters welfare due to my excessive drinking.
I’ve been a heavy drinker for many years.. before even being with my ex but I’ve never been violent etc.. I just simply like to have a drink every night/most nights after work, drinking from home rather than going to the pub and i still carried out all my parental responsibilities etc and had a brilliant relationship with my daughter.
I have gone through 3 hearings over the phone in Nov 2020, Jan 2021 & May 2021 and had my interview with cafcass. The courts ordered a S7 report and as recent as the last hearing an addendum report. I’ve had 2 HST which have come back high. I am registered with DRP which I have been attending appointments and prescribed medication to help reduce my alcohol intake - I know this goes against me but I have never put my daughter in any sort of danger. My first time attending DRP was during my relationship with the ex and after some time didn’t carry on as I felt I had my drinking under control. I started drinking excessively again in Oct 2020 during which time my father was dying and my son was born.
The S7 report is fairly positive and has gained the support of my cafcass worker. Since Aug 2021 I have been seeing my daughter fortnightly through a contact centre. My cafcass worker even attended a contact centre visitation at the same place one afternoon for someone else, and got to observe first hand our relationship and even included in her S7 report that I met all of my daughters basic care needs.
My final hearing is coming up in May for a stepped child’s arrangement order for me to spend time with my daughter together with a child arrangements order for her to live with her mother. I have a barrister at my solicitors recommendation.
I have text messages from when we broke up that shows her willingness for our daughter to spend time with me, sharing no safeguarding concerns. Surely this proves that all of this is because of learning of my girlfriends pregnancy.
I guess my question is can my barrister use this as evidence when she is cross examined - even though our statements have been filed to the courts? Can I write a letter telling the courts of my side of the story - which is the truth? I’ve cut down a lot on my drinking yet my daughters mother condemns me in her statement picking up on every flaw, focussing on the past and not the positive changes I have made for myself and our daughter. She even proposes the court grants her visitation requests over the recommendation of cafcass. Ideally I would like everything to be 50/50 concerning our daughter. Do the courts usually go by cafcass’ recommendations? Do they listen to the father too or side with the mother?
BU with ex in Nov 2019 was amicable. She moved back to Leicester to live with her parents. We had a generous agreement with child arrangements concerning our daughter who was 9 months old at the time. The only thing that was set out was my daughter was to stop over at her paternal grandmothers during overnight stays as I’m a heavy sleeper and may not be able to hear her in the night.
29th April 2020 it all changed. (My ex discovered I was in a new relationship a week prior but contact remained as normal). It was my usual Wednesday spent with my daughter when the ex called me crying asking if my girlfriend is pregnant - I was shocked as I hadn’t yet told her the news. I said yes she was - her reply was I’m picking up my daughter and I will see you in court. From that day on I was denied all contact with my daughter.
I applied for mediation in May 2020 which I attended (over the phone) but my ex did not bother. My ex has lied to my solicitors saying I’ve had random people at my house and the covid pandemic as being reasons for her stopping contact at the time but her main reason for ceasing contact is her safeguarding concerns over our daughters welfare due to my excessive drinking.
I’ve been a heavy drinker for many years.. before even being with my ex but I’ve never been violent etc.. I just simply like to have a drink every night/most nights after work, drinking from home rather than going to the pub and i still carried out all my parental responsibilities etc and had a brilliant relationship with my daughter.
I have gone through 3 hearings over the phone in Nov 2020, Jan 2021 & May 2021 and had my interview with cafcass. The courts ordered a S7 report and as recent as the last hearing an addendum report. I’ve had 2 HST which have come back high. I am registered with DRP which I have been attending appointments and prescribed medication to help reduce my alcohol intake - I know this goes against me but I have never put my daughter in any sort of danger. My first time attending DRP was during my relationship with the ex and after some time didn’t carry on as I felt I had my drinking under control. I started drinking excessively again in Oct 2020 during which time my father was dying and my son was born.
The S7 report is fairly positive and has gained the support of my cafcass worker. Since Aug 2021 I have been seeing my daughter fortnightly through a contact centre. My cafcass worker even attended a contact centre visitation at the same place one afternoon for someone else, and got to observe first hand our relationship and even included in her S7 report that I met all of my daughters basic care needs.
My final hearing is coming up in May for a stepped child’s arrangement order for me to spend time with my daughter together with a child arrangements order for her to live with her mother. I have a barrister at my solicitors recommendation.
I have text messages from when we broke up that shows her willingness for our daughter to spend time with me, sharing no safeguarding concerns. Surely this proves that all of this is because of learning of my girlfriends pregnancy.
I guess my question is can my barrister use this as evidence when she is cross examined - even though our statements have been filed to the courts? Can I write a letter telling the courts of my side of the story - which is the truth? I’ve cut down a lot on my drinking yet my daughters mother condemns me in her statement picking up on every flaw, focussing on the past and not the positive changes I have made for myself and our daughter. She even proposes the court grants her visitation requests over the recommendation of cafcass. Ideally I would like everything to be 50/50 concerning our daughter. Do the courts usually go by cafcass’ recommendations? Do they listen to the father too or side with the mother?
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