Guest viewing is limited

Unsure about paying

S

Sam1979

New member
Member
Hi can you give me some advice please sorry this message may be long .
My husband as always paid csa into his ex account for years even though the mother wouldn’t let him see him .. his son left school and got a job so husband stopped paying . The ex was livid when he stopped paying ..Then the son got caught thieving at work and was sacked mother was not bothered I said it’s so she can still claim for him . The son as not lived with mum for nearly 2 years he lives with gf . The son is now 18 mother still claims for him and made him go and sign on a college course so she can still get benefits . We think she is going to go to csa to get money from us . Iv said I will get a private investigator and prove he is not living with her does my husband still have to pay for his son .
Sorry to message but years of hell with this woman and I need to be one step ahead
 
Hi.

Sorry you are going through this.

You could be proactive and contact the CMS with your status and see what they say.

If mum gets in there first with lies, regardless of whether or not you can prove them - she will be a step ahead.
 
I just don’t know what to do as o don’t want to open a can of worms and make the situation worse with them . If I do that and tell them she is claiming for a boy that don’t even live with her I just don’t want the agro we have had so much from that side
 
My understanding is that if he did go back to college your partner would only have to pay up to when his son is 20.
It sounds like the ex is scrabbling around desperately to get the last bit of cash from your partner.
Do you know which college he is potentially going to? Surely this far into the term he would have to start by now.
When is he turning 20?
If he no longer lives with mum then no your husband shouldn't pay her. Do you have proof of where he lives?
Sorry for all the questions.
 
I just read on child maintenance website that the child must be accepted on a course before they're 19. So when is his 19th birthday?
 
Peanut 21 said:
My understanding is that if he did go back to college your partner would only have to pay up to when his son is 20.
It sounds like the ex is scrabbling around desperately to get the last bit of cash from your partner.
Do you know which college he is potentially going to? Surely this far into the term he would have to start by now.
When is he turning 20?
If he no longer lives with mum then no your husband shouldn't pay her. Do you have proof of where he lives?
Sorry for all the questions.
Click to expand...
He turned 18 in September and as only just started the course . Yes we know where he lives and know which college he is at . No problem asking question we need all the advice we can get
Thankyou
 
Peanut 21 said:
Hmm I'm wondering if you can send his new address info to CMS.
Anyone else have advice on this?
Click to expand...
I think I have found the course that he is on as he as just gone and done any course that would accept him with the none gcse results that would accept him . If it’s the right course it’s only 11.5 hrs a week over 36 weeks . Now I’m not sure with the cms as Iv read a few different things he as to be in education 12 hrs before they can get maintenance do you know if this is true . Honestly the anxiety I have about this is horrific I have 4 children to support so if she goes to the cms we are going to struggle to survive until he is 20 it’s so unfair . 18 years of abuse from this woman she is appalling
 
It's difficult finding anything about when a child moves out. CMS are notoriously difficult to get hold of. Does your husband have a log in to CMS account? I'm wondering if he can upload any evidence with his sons new address.
 
He never went through this service for years he did it privately straight to her account for years. I will get a private investigator to prove he ain’t living with her . His gf as just got a job in a salon close by to where I live aswell cash in hand and I’m positive her mum claimd benefits . They are ruthless the lot of em dealing with scrubbers
 
Others may think differently but I think your husband should stop paying. He could always put some money aside in case he gets chased up or to give to his son directly if/when he gets back in touch with dad.
Let the ex contact CMS. She'll shoot herself in the foot with CMS and potentially child benefit when it's discovered son moved out.
 
The thing is he wants nothing to do with dad and dad as done everything correctly for years basically begged that boy . Paid for everything all his life . He got the most horrific messages when he stopped paying his maintenance. My husband as been used for years but allowed it just so he could try to get a relationship. . I honestly will open a can of worms for the lot of em I think Iv had enough🤦🏽‍♀️
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top