Hi all,
I've been a member for few years now and I felt beeing in most of the most similar situations where no matter the best you try to show you're a loving figure father and you want to rise your children as per mother nature gave us these insticts, there's so many barriers and obstacles to challenge in these journey. But hey, how can we change or convince others of who we are or what our intentions are? System play by the rules and most mothers play the game of beeing the victim. Lies, accusations, instigations, lawyers, delayes... had them all.
Ash and the team - may God bless you all for your support and maintaining this website.
Long story short - Divorced the mother in 2013 due infidelity - 3 children together - started with full parental rights for every other weekend and half holidays.
- 2016 gained full custody of the eldest child - 13 years old at the time - beeing kicked out of the house.
- 2019: I had no more contact given with the other 2 children - Mother with false allegations and claiming violence. Caffacass useless to identify the lies and false claims with one fact in front of them - one of our children is living with me. After the mother married, the children were made to believe that they have their own family and they're not part of mine anymore cutting contact with all relatives and friends.
- 2024: After more court hearings in 2020&2023 - still no contact expressed from the children. Still managed to arrange a meeting with them before Christams 2023. May 2024 - received phonecalls that our daugther (15 years old) run away from their home. I've been given her number and after spoken to her on the phone, I've travelled back appx 2000miles(flight and driving, I was out of Uk at the time leaving just 1 day before) to their location and picked her up. Spent 7 days at our place with her and felt the pain she's been all this time been kept away. She asked me to change her school and live with me. As much as I would like that, we've talked about her school programs and to approach the best choices as it's a very important stage for herself. We talked about her disagrements with her mother and we agreed to return there and focus on her school mock ups and do her best. We keep the comunication open and for sure we'll see each other again in the summer holiday. I also met my other son (17) and he's doing well with school.
It's been a painfull wait for 4.5 years with sleepless nights but I stopped having much expectations from other people way of being or institutions to give a much of importance to our cases. I just focus in being myself to do the best I can for the loved ones and offer help from my experience.
For sure the children are affected by the parent's behaviour and their wellbeing is at the risk in several circumstances. Pushing away the child away from the other parent is diminish their familly insticts and trust in both parents and forming themselves the family values for their own.
Regaining the contact after so many years, it's not for proving who was right or wrong, it is to take the present and build together from it. Plenty of more beautiful times ahead.
I've been a member for few years now and I felt beeing in most of the most similar situations where no matter the best you try to show you're a loving figure father and you want to rise your children as per mother nature gave us these insticts, there's so many barriers and obstacles to challenge in these journey. But hey, how can we change or convince others of who we are or what our intentions are? System play by the rules and most mothers play the game of beeing the victim. Lies, accusations, instigations, lawyers, delayes... had them all.
Ash and the team - may God bless you all for your support and maintaining this website.
Long story short - Divorced the mother in 2013 due infidelity - 3 children together - started with full parental rights for every other weekend and half holidays.
- 2016 gained full custody of the eldest child - 13 years old at the time - beeing kicked out of the house.
- 2019: I had no more contact given with the other 2 children - Mother with false allegations and claiming violence. Caffacass useless to identify the lies and false claims with one fact in front of them - one of our children is living with me. After the mother married, the children were made to believe that they have their own family and they're not part of mine anymore cutting contact with all relatives and friends.
- 2024: After more court hearings in 2020&2023 - still no contact expressed from the children. Still managed to arrange a meeting with them before Christams 2023. May 2024 - received phonecalls that our daugther (15 years old) run away from their home. I've been given her number and after spoken to her on the phone, I've travelled back appx 2000miles(flight and driving, I was out of Uk at the time leaving just 1 day before) to their location and picked her up. Spent 7 days at our place with her and felt the pain she's been all this time been kept away. She asked me to change her school and live with me. As much as I would like that, we've talked about her school programs and to approach the best choices as it's a very important stage for herself. We talked about her disagrements with her mother and we agreed to return there and focus on her school mock ups and do her best. We keep the comunication open and for sure we'll see each other again in the summer holiday. I also met my other son (17) and he's doing well with school.
It's been a painfull wait for 4.5 years with sleepless nights but I stopped having much expectations from other people way of being or institutions to give a much of importance to our cases. I just focus in being myself to do the best I can for the loved ones and offer help from my experience.
For sure the children are affected by the parent's behaviour and their wellbeing is at the risk in several circumstances. Pushing away the child away from the other parent is diminish their familly insticts and trust in both parents and forming themselves the family values for their own.
Regaining the contact after so many years, it's not for proving who was right or wrong, it is to take the present and build together from it. Plenty of more beautiful times ahead.
