The beginning of my journey…

[miami18]

Yes they asked you specific questions. Sadly, with this process, being upfront about everything doesn't do us any favours. There is a need to be strategic to get the end goal needed - ie the Child Arrangements order. One of the mantras on here is "never say anything negative about the ex" - even if it's true! The key is to present yourself as the non confrontational, child focused ones. They will always leave children with Mothers, regardless of what they have done in the relationship - so the focus is on - are you a good Dad. To them, a good Dad is one who is positive about co parenting and says good stuff about the Mother. Also what this does is show the Mother as the one who is hostile - so you don't get tarred with the same brush.

If both make allegations, it can be seen as a) mud slinging and b) an emotional risk to the child if the parents are in conflict

Very frustrating that you paid a barrister and the magistrates wouldn't listen.

There is a positive to this. If you get stuck with magistrates and the final order isn't as good as it should be, you can appeal within 21 days without needing permission to appeal - and then you'll get a senior Judge.

A Dad on here did that and came out with a full order after being left with supervised only, indefinitely.

It’s like a trap, they literally ask you what happened during the relationship for it to end, was there any violence, was there any financial abuse, etc. So you can either answer it honestly or not. I answered it honestly, but made it clear that I wanted to put things in the past and focus on coparenting. I literally put that in my C100, and my final position statement.

They asked for more detail about abuse towards me in my hearing, which I was forced to explain. Then they proceeded to use it against me. Disgraceful.

I also said good things about my ex partner to CAFCASS, which she was unable to do about me. Yet, I’m being treated like I’m the hostile one.