I'd like to start with a brief summary I won't go to far back so it stays relivent to the question I'm asking I've not long ago had my FHDRA was ordered 8 weeks of indirect contact via letters and 8 weeks of supervised contact then a contested hearing currently in the 8 weeks of indirect contact however I'd like abit of advice on something when supervised contact starts during fhdra my ex insisted she wanted her brother to supervise not her mother who originally offered to be a neutral third party I have concerns her brother might make false allegations or something during supervised contact as he will be biased towards me however we have a neutral third party friend close to both me and her current partner who's offer to come along during these meetings he will stay out the way and just observe to keep everything transparent and fair but he would like to talk to them first about it what would your all you advice be on this ?
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Supervised contact concerned
- Thread starter Altitude60
- Start date
Ridiculous getting maternal family members to do supervised contact.
As it’s only 8 weeks I’d suggest an independent contact centre to supervise.
Get reports written from contact centre
Will cost a bit, but will negate false allegations.
However would need ex to agree to it.
Unfortunately currently it’s down to the ex to agree/veto
Worst case ask the brother and mural friend to come along.
Its only 8 weeks so it’s about arse covering
As it’s only 8 weeks I’d suggest an independent contact centre to supervise.
Get reports written from contact centre
Will cost a bit, but will negate false allegations.
However would need ex to agree to it.
Unfortunately currently it’s down to the ex to agree/veto
Worst case ask the brother and mural friend to come along.
Its only 8 weeks so it’s about arse covering
Can't see my ex agreeing to mutual friend or a contact centre personally just don't no what to do about this I don't want to end up back a square one I've already not seen my child 6 months I no something malicious will come from her insisting her brother do it the mutual friend was abit of hope but I don't no how she's react about him talking to her and her partner about his offer to observe the contact
if its supervised contact, then it would have to be done professionally, and cafcass would usually organise it and it cannot be a family member or friend . The reports would be written by someone who is neutral and qualified to undertake it. Supported contact can be done by a family member if all in agreement, with supported contact there is no report to the court. So understand and be clear about the differences between these two types of contact, supervised vs supported.
Thank you for that advice it must be supported contact then at FHDRA they made us both agree but they referred to it as supervised during FHDRA however she insisted her brother do it and I felt like I had to agree its only after I've had this concern as I know her brother doesn't like me hence me thinking the neutral third party friend would be a good idea just want all your thoughts on this ?
I would try and get supervised contact by independent person suggested by CAFCASS perhaps. It costs an arm and a leg...mine was £200 for 1hr30...however, her 4 court reports were fantastic and hold significant weight in the proceedings. Your only inviting negative bias otherwise.
As there was no safeguarding concerns which where dismissed at FHDRA cafcass are no longer involved unless required to be by court I read somewhere id have to reapply for a variation order or something? if I want a independent person or contact centre which I'd rather not but I'm getting more and more concern about false allegations being made against me which will affect my contested hearing in 5 months time
You could always google search services of that nature or just ask CAFCASS. At my FH there is no new evidence allowed and it's just her challenging S7 report.
Thank you for your advice so in your opinion you wouldnt use a neutral third party friend ? Yeah my ex's allegations where took for what they where to be honest Cafcass didn't really acknowledge them apart from drug abuse but they accepted my hair test at the FHDRA so didn't require s7 or anything they was happy there's no safeguarding issues but recommended 8 weeks of indirect and 8 weeks of supervised as they referred to but now sounds like supported the magistrates took there recommendations and push for us both to agree basically and that's where I'm at then a contested hearing in 5 months if me and ex can't agree on an arrangement how they ways she's being I can't see that ever happening
I would almost guarantee she will not agree...and yes, use a supervised contact professional, they will really help in their reports, all being well obviously.
That's kind of her mother
If she doesn't agree to a family centre supervising or your mutual friend being present take an audio recording device just to cover your back in case.
Thank you for your advice but Sorry for my ignorance here I don't no how would a audio recorder help me ? During these meetings also if she doesn't agree and false aligations go in about me could I not use her refusal as evidence ?That's kind of her mother
If she doesn't agree to a family centre supervising or your mutual friend being present take an audio recording device just to cover your back in case.
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I can't understand the second sentence but regards the audio recording, if the brother makes false allegations you'd have a recording of the entire meeting. What kind of allegation would you anticipate? With an audio recording you can present evidence that whatever false allegation he comes with is fiction right?
Sorry ive just read that back and it didn't make much sense to myself either , I'm concerned her brother might say I'm rough with our child or something along those lines I anticipate my ex will only allow the meetings to happen at a very quiet local park so there would be little to no witnesses other than her brother I don't no how a audio recording would help me in that ?
Being rough, that's a bit subjective. Audio recording is easy and I think it provides you with a line of defence.
a family or friend cannot undertake supervised contact and any such report would not be admissible in court. with supported contact, there is no report to the court and the courts will not be interested in anything and would understand that your brother in laws allegations are to be taken with a large pinch of sale, relax and dont worry about it.
Thank you for that advice I feel alot better about things after reading that
the problem with audio and video recordings is that they are not always admissible evidence, covert recordings in particular. It is also very expensive having them transcribed and put in a format the court will accept. If you think you are in a vulnerable scene, the best, easiest, and cheapest option is to take someone with you, who can act as a witness. For multiple events, you can use a variety of friends and family, just keep a diary of events and who was witnessing the events on that day.
That's what my original question was about is having a third party neutral friend join just to observe he's happy to do it but wants to speak to her first about it
I know but in the event of a serious allegation of whatever kind having it could be useful and also on the occasion you just state that you are recording the meeting in order to listen back to the joy of being with your child, get it out into the open.
I have been in exactly this situation. A non family centre situation with supervision and notes taken. Notes that were outrageously skewed. I recorded and when notes were produced I was able to evidence factual inaccuracies. The role of the supervisor is to supervise so I didn't need to seek their permission to record because I didn't record them. And I did not need to get my childs permission to record him.