Stbx asking me to pay for plumbing/house repairs

[MountainGoat]

Hi everyone,

I am currently paying CMS as well as my half of the mortgage.

I can’t afford much else and have to borrow money each month.

I asked for a blow up mattress as there are two of them and she is refusing this. How can she just decide what I can have. It’s very wrong.

My question is regarding the below.
My Stbx solicitor has just sent the following email. I shouldn’t have to pay for home repairs when I’m not using the bathroom or in my home should I?

Thankyou.

———


I refer to previous correspondence and in particular to your request to have one of 2 blow up mattresses. I am instructed by my client that she is not agreeable to this and indeed, is concerned that the time spent in relation to dealing with it, both in correspondence with this firm and the time required for our client to locate it even if she were inclined to agree (which she is not) is disproportionate.

This is particularly so in circumstances where I am instructed that both bathrooms upstairs at the former matrimonial home require considerable works undertaking. My client had initially invited her father to do so but he has advised that it will require a plumber to do the works over 2 -3 days, plus parts. Is this an expense to which you are prepared to contribute to? Furthermore, I am instructed that the fence and gutters also require repairs following damage caused by the recent winds, for which my client has yet to obtain quoted.

Yours sincerely

 

[Unknown01]

Write back informing them that in paying both full CMS and half the mortgage, you are already paying in excess of what you should have been for a number of months and that this will more than cover the repair work.

Also, the solicitor is taking the piss writing this without having a detailed quotation. You should question why they have done that as presumably this is doubling their client's costs when they have to send a follow up letter with the amounts. Maybe mention that you are watching their conduct closely and will not hesitate to inform the SRA if they do anything like this again.

 

[Unknown01]

You might also mention in your response that false and malicious claims by their client have cost you thousands of pounds in legal fees and left you unable to support the family any more than you already do. And also that it may be in their client's interests to agree to immediately sell the home because the result of her false and malicious claims might be a false conviction to yourself and the termination of your employment, leaving insufficient funds to pay the mortgage and repossession of the property.

 

[Peanut 21]

The childish part of me would be tempted to say piss off.
The more mature part says ignore the solicitors letter. They have no power to tell you what to do.

To go from not allowing you 2 poxy blow up mattresses to then demanding you fork out for bathrooms and fence work!! The bloody cheek of it. Making out looking for the mattresses is a huge undertaking but doing loads of work on the house is trivial. It's got my blood boiling on your behalf.

 

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou Unknown01 and Peanut 21. I really appreciate your replies.
I thought I was done with this shit before Christmas but it seems like her solicitor keeps haunting me with this crap.

As you say, it absolutely makes my blood boil too and even though I should give absolutely zero fucks, it still plays on my mind.
It is absolutely cheeky as hell and I don't know how these solicitors can sleep at night!

I have drafted a reply. See what you think.

______


I refer to your Email dated 23/12/24 where you ask whether I would contribute to repairs to the family home.

I should remind you that due to your client’s false allegations I am having to pay huge amounts of money to solicitors and in legal fees. Due to your client’s malicious claims and stories I also have to do all journeys during child arrangements and these costs a lot in petrol. Due to this I am having to borrow money each month.

As I am currently paying my full Child maintenance payments and my half of the mortgage, I am already paying in excess of what I should be and have done for several months now.

I have to question why you are sending this email without even attaching any professional quotes for any of the work stated as presumably this will double your own client’s costs when you have to later send follow up emails with quote amounts.

I should inform you that whilst I was at the property I maintained the bathrooms and they were in fully functioning condition. I also maintained the garden and fences. Having not been at the property in over a year now I have to wonder if your client is maintaining the property adequately.

 

[Ash]

I would amend that slightly as they could well react by sending you quotes! And you have to be careful what you put in writing to solicitors. How about

"Thank you for your Email dated 23/12/24 in which you ask whether I would contribute to repairs to the family home.

Whilst I was living at the property, I maintained the bathrooms and they were in fully functioning condition. I also maintained the garden and fences. Having not been at the property in over a year now, which was your client's choice, it is her responsibility to keep the property maintained. I currently pay full Child Maintenance payments and my half of the mortgage, which is in excess of what I should be paying.

Additionally, due to your client’s spurious allegations I am having to pay huge amounts of money towards a court case next year, and am also now having to do all the journeys to collect and drop off the children. Due to this I am having to borrow money each month, which is unsustainable.

There is no money.

One of the two blow-up beds would be greatly appreciated in my restricted circumstances. I do not recall any agreement which states your client may retain all the possessions that were jointly owned and I hope this may be resolved amicably.

Yours sincerely,

Your name,

 

[Unknown01]

Ash should be a solicitor! I like that wording a lot.

I would however also add a line about it being in their client's interests to sell the property and hold the money in escrow to avoid a panic sale in the result of a wrongful conviction. You really want to hammer home how stupid and damaging to her own interests she is being by making malicious and false allegations.

 

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou so much Ash. I do sometimes rush things and you find ways to make it sound a lot more professional. Thankyou for this.
I have taken all that and redrafted the letter.
Now time to continue wrapping my kids presents, the things that I should be doing instead of this.

Have a good evening everyone. I wish you all the best for Christmas.

 

[Ash]

It always helps to have an objective eye on it My background is in business rather than law but the two crossover a bit sometimes and I picked up a few tips from lawyers along the way during my own child arrangements processes.

 

[mva]

I wouldn’t respond at all . It’s just going to result in more pointless correspondence. Can’t believe your ex is instructing her solicitor to send such drivel, probably cost her 3 air mattresses in legal fees. At most I’d send.

“Thank you for your letter I am not in a finachial position to contribute apart from my obligated CMS payments and current mortgage cost”

Your get drivel back from ex solicitor, just ignore.

If you get caught up in meaningless drivel then there is a chance just once your write something you regret, which will be used against you.

 

[Ash]

That is an option as well - just ignore it.

 

[MountainGoat]

I wouldn’t respond at all . It’s just going to result in more pointless correspondence. Can’t believe your ex is instructing her solicitor to send such drivel, probably cost her 3 air mattresses in legal fees. At most I’d send.

Thankyou mva, I see where you are coming from and that I shouldnt really entertain such drivel from her. However I just think down the line she will say that I ignored home repairs and made no contributions so will try and sway the house split decisions.
I think the letter from Ash makes it clear what my situation is and that even though I will not be paying any of this, I have given a reason to cover me.

 

[mva]

Yeh fair enough . I just remember my family court battle. I spent so much time stressing and responding to legal letters it used up so much energy.

I would spend days trying to write the perfect response and couldn’t sleep trying to look at angles etc.

I kind off forgot the only person that you need to respond/influence are caffcass / magistrates/ judges.


Once your allowed to ignore the ex or exes solicitors you start to get some control back.

 

[Ash]

Agree - but I take Mountain Goat's point as well. In future though don't feel you have to respond to all solicitors letters. They're just trying to wind you up and play tit for tat. Also sometimes they try to get you to put something in writing that they can try and use against you later - hence being careful with wording.

 

[proud_dad]

Solicitors actively seek to create confrontation and feed the fire of acrimony because it keeps the fees coming in. As others have said above, I would ignore.