Hi everyone.
Using this as a place to rant a bit and get some much needed advice from people going through the same/similar.
Long story short. Ex wife had an affair 15 years ago. I kind of knew (but she always denied it) and for some reason I stayed as there was always a small hope
.
Well earlier this year I got chatting to an old girlfriend, and all of a sudden we were both 21 again instead of 44.
Suddenly we both had a realisation that our marriages were terrible and loveless. Subsequently, we are both now going through divorces and the finances are in the hands of the solicitors.
My new girlfriend and her exe have so far been quite amicable. My exe on the other hand is something else entirely!
She first of all assaulted me several times and I had to file a report with the police.
Then she threw me out of our jointly owned home. Then prevented me from speaking to the kids. Then my 9 year old daughter phoned me at work one day pleading for me to come and get her as her mother and brother had been abusive to her.
I went there from work and said I'd take her for a few days so they could think about their actions. Well, that was the beginning of June.
I'm still paying the mortgage and council tax. I stopped paying the utilities and EDF gave a refund if Ā£400 back into the joint account (she transferred it before it had even cleared).
She racked up 38k of debt in my name and has now just stated it's mine to pay off.
She hit me with a non mol based on horrific historic lies of child and spousal abuse. (On the Legal aid I might add). Luckily I was recommended a brilliant barrister and he managed to get her to agree to joint undertakings.
Since then, she still lives in the family home (which I pay for) with our 17 year old son. He has now moved his girlfriend in with them apparently.
I live with my 9 year old daughter at my parents house. Which although survivable is far from ideal due to a genuine lack of space. (We share a room and I sleep on the floor so she can have the bed).
All my/daughter's belongings are still in the marital home and the ex refuses to let me take anything. (Realistically I can't go there or she will accuse me of hassling her).
The house is being sold (to her friends). However is being dragged out so long and at every opportunity the estate agent is dubious if it is genuinely under offer or not.
Ex refuses to talk about having our daughter full stop, as now I hear she has got a full time job. Instead keeps texting our daughter telling her the solicitor will be in contact with her dad. But I'm still waiting and waiting and waiting.
I also work full time and have to say, without my parents and sister helping out I'd be totally stuck for school runs etc.
She refuses to help pay for anything as (the daughter is in my care).
She books appointments for the daughter like dentists and hairdressers and doesn't tell me, so I get accused of stopping her from attending.
She is insane, and I just want reassurance that this can't just go on forever, can it?
She's just determined to make my life as difficult as possible and to prevent my new girlfriend and I moving on.
She has so far even refused to let me claim child benefit for the daughter who lives lives with me believing it's her right to have it!
Thanks for listening,
Frustrated to say the least.
Using this as a place to rant a bit and get some much needed advice from people going through the same/similar.
Long story short. Ex wife had an affair 15 years ago. I kind of knew (but she always denied it) and for some reason I stayed as there was always a small hope
.Well earlier this year I got chatting to an old girlfriend, and all of a sudden we were both 21 again instead of 44.
Suddenly we both had a realisation that our marriages were terrible and loveless. Subsequently, we are both now going through divorces and the finances are in the hands of the solicitors.
My new girlfriend and her exe have so far been quite amicable. My exe on the other hand is something else entirely!
She first of all assaulted me several times and I had to file a report with the police.
Then she threw me out of our jointly owned home. Then prevented me from speaking to the kids. Then my 9 year old daughter phoned me at work one day pleading for me to come and get her as her mother and brother had been abusive to her.
I went there from work and said I'd take her for a few days so they could think about their actions. Well, that was the beginning of June.
I'm still paying the mortgage and council tax. I stopped paying the utilities and EDF gave a refund if Ā£400 back into the joint account (she transferred it before it had even cleared).
She racked up 38k of debt in my name and has now just stated it's mine to pay off.
She hit me with a non mol based on horrific historic lies of child and spousal abuse. (On the Legal aid I might add). Luckily I was recommended a brilliant barrister and he managed to get her to agree to joint undertakings.
Since then, she still lives in the family home (which I pay for) with our 17 year old son. He has now moved his girlfriend in with them apparently.
I live with my 9 year old daughter at my parents house. Which although survivable is far from ideal due to a genuine lack of space. (We share a room and I sleep on the floor so she can have the bed).
All my/daughter's belongings are still in the marital home and the ex refuses to let me take anything. (Realistically I can't go there or she will accuse me of hassling her).
The house is being sold (to her friends). However is being dragged out so long and at every opportunity the estate agent is dubious if it is genuinely under offer or not.
Ex refuses to talk about having our daughter full stop, as now I hear she has got a full time job. Instead keeps texting our daughter telling her the solicitor will be in contact with her dad. But I'm still waiting and waiting and waiting.
I also work full time and have to say, without my parents and sister helping out I'd be totally stuck for school runs etc.
She refuses to help pay for anything as (the daughter is in my care).
She books appointments for the daughter like dentists and hairdressers and doesn't tell me, so I get accused of stopping her from attending.
She is insane, and I just want reassurance that this can't just go on forever, can it?
She's just determined to make my life as difficult as possible and to prevent my new girlfriend and I moving on.
She has so far even refused to let me claim child benefit for the daughter who lives lives with me believing it's her right to have it!
Thanks for listening,
Frustrated to say the least.
up their...