Spousal advice

[HJR]

Hi everyone hoping someone can help
I’ve separated from my wife amicably and we are looking at financial settlement, i need some advice on what’s been discussed so far particularly around house split and spousal etc.

We have a 16 year old girl and a 14 year old girl. Been together for 20 years, married for 17. My wife has been a stay at home mother since the girls were born however did go back to work for 12 month during Covid when we needed extra money. She then quit again as didn’t want to work.

Since separting she now works 2 days per week and gets £800 per month on a fixed 12 month contract and has just been awarded £300 per month in universal credit. She could work 5 days per week if she had a second job. I am continuing to pay all the bills and mortgage etc and rent somewhere else whilst the house goes on the market for sale.

I earn a much bigger salary however my income does fluctuate as its commission dependant however overall it’s roughly £150K per year.

We’ve agreed 80% house split in her favour which would give her approx £160K and we’ve agreed I could keep my shares for work which is in addition. If that was put in one big lump sum it works out 60% to her and 40% to me as an overall financial split. My pension isn’t huge so she isn’t making a claim against that.

CMS is £1700 per month and I’m trying to work out what spousal is reasonable.
Her needs, from mortgage and household payments, going all the way down to nail appointments and hair cuts for the girls and her, holidays, clothes etc is £3300 per month. I’m suggesting I pay £3000 per month to her for 2 years, when my eldest daughter turns 18 then child maint stops (she’ll be going into work) that figure will reduce to £2150 for 12 months and then the final 12 months it will just be child maintenance for our youngest daughter until they reach 18 or end higher eduction.
Year 1 (£3000 month)
£1700 child maint
£1300 spousal
Year 2 (£3000 per month)
£1700 child maint
£1300 Spousal
Year 3 (£2150 per month)
£850 child maint (one child now doesn’t qualify for child maint)
£1350 spousal
Year 4 (850 per month)
£850 child maint
No spousal
This gives my wife 3 years worth of spousal at around £1300 per month to allow her to retrain or increase her hours from the 2 days per week she works now and become financially independent from me.

Does this all seem reasonable in terms of equity split
80/20 on house or 60/40 if we include shares, either way she gets around £160K from house.
Plus 3 years spousal at £1300 per month with an adjustment of year 3 where CM is halved?

Thank you

 

[HJR]

Hi everyone hoping someone can help
I’ve separated from my wife amicably and we are looking at financial settlement, i need some advice on what’s been discussed so far particularly around house split and spousal etc.

We have a 16 year old girl and a 14 year old girl. Been together for 20 years, married for 17. My wife has been a stay at home mother since the girls were born however did go back to work for 12 month during Covid when we needed extra money. She then quit again as didn’t want to work.

Since separting she now works 2 days per week and gets £800 per month on a fixed 12 month contract and has just been awarded £300 per month in universal credit. She could work 5 days per week if she had a second job. I am continuing to pay all the bills and mortgage etc and rent somewhere else whilst the house goes on the market for sale.

I earn a much bigger salary however my income does fluctuate as its commission dependant however overall it’s roughly £150K per year.

We’ve agreed 80% house split in her favour which would give her approx £160K and we’ve agreed I could keep my shares for work which is in addition. If that was put in one big lump sum it works out 60% to her and 40% to me as an overall financial split. My pension isn’t huge so she isn’t making a claim against that.

CMS is £1700 per month and I’m trying to work out what spousal is reasonable.
Her needs, from mortgage and household payments, going all the way down to nail appointments and hair cuts for the girls and her, holidays, clothes etc is £3300 per month. I’m suggesting I pay £3000 per month to her for 2 years, when my eldest daughter turns 18 then child maint stops (she’ll be going into work) that figure will reduce to £2150 for 12 months and then the final 12 months it will just be child maintenance for our youngest daughter until they reach 18 or end higher eduction.
Year 1 (£3000 month)
£1700 child maint
£1300 spousal
Year 2 (£3000 per month)
£1700 child maint
£1300 Spousal
Year 3 (£2150 per month)
£850 child maint (one child now doesn’t qualify for child maint)
£1350 spousal
Year 4 (850 per month)
£850 child maint
No spousal
This gives my wife 3 years worth of spousal at around £1300 per month to allow her to retrain or increase her hours from the 2 days per week she works now and become financially independent from me.

Does this all seem reasonable in terms of equity split
80/20 on house or 60/40 if we include shares, either way she gets around £160K from house.
Plus 3 years spousal at £1300 per month with an adjustment of year 3 where CM is halved?

Thank you

In addition to add, my wife is 41 years old, I know sometimes age is useful when thinking about spousal

 

[Peanut 21]

You ask if you sound reasonable?

I'm the same age as your stbx and I think she's landed on her feet big time.

It's great she was a stay at home mum as it creates stability for children. But there's no excuse when the kids are older and she now should be planning to be financially independent.

You sound beyond reasonable to me.

 

[Roblox]

More than reasonable

Spousal maintenance is an old fashioned view of looking at things and should be temporary as you propose. As Peanut mentions given the age of the kids she doesn't need to be at home in the same way as younger children.

Have you taken some solicitor advice at all?

 

[Ash]

Has all this been agreed via mediation? Yes it's beyond reasonable and I think you'd need a clause that says spousal will stop if she cohabits or remarries. All this assumes that both the children will remaining living with her, whereas at 16, your eldest can choose who she wants to live with. Will you be able to afford another house, with at least two bedrooms, suitable for your girls to stay with/live with you? What arrangements have been made regarding the children? I can see you want to keep things reasonable and amicable but some people just take the money and run. You wouldn't be able to get a child arrangements order for a 16 year old and very unlikely to get one for a 14 year old now so you'd be dependent on your ex to be able to see your girls.

 

[HJR]

You ask if you sound reasonable?

I'm the same age as your stbx and I think she's landed on her feet big time.

It's great she was a stay at home mum as it creates stability for children. But there's no excuse when the kids are older and she now should be planning to be financially independent.

You sound beyond reasonable to me.

More than reasonable

Spousal maintenance is an old fashioned view of looking at things and should be temporary as you propose. As Peanut mentions given the age of the kids she doesn't need to be at home in the same way as younger children.

Have you taken some solicitor advice at all?

Thank you for your reply. No I haven’t taken any advice yet, I’m trying to keep things away from solicitors however my wife also thinks I may be trying to short change her so I wanted to get a view of what seems reasonable

 

[HJR]

Has all this been agreed via mediation? Yes it's beyond reasonable and I think you'd need a clause that says spousal will stop if she cohabits or remarries. All this assumes that both the children will remaining living with her, whereas at 16, your eldest can choose who she wants to live with. Will you be able to afford another house, with at least two bedrooms, suitable for your girls to stay with/live with you? What arrangements have been made regarding the children? I can see you want to keep things reasonable and amicable but some people just take the money and run. You wouldn't be able to get a child arrangements order for a 16 year old and very unlikely to get one for a 14 year old now so you'd be dependent on your ex to be able to see your girls.

 

[HJR]

I would be able to afford another house as I would have 20% of the equity plus shares and I have the income to rebuild whereas it will take my wife longer to do so. It’s unlikely my 16 year old will want to visit much I’ll be going down to see her at a weekend and spend the day and then bring my other daughter back with me for the weekend, every other weekend. I do fully accept that as they are older they may not want to come as often as they would if they were younger, so if it’s more visits to them for the day to take them out then I’ll do that. I have moved further north for affordability and closer to my family and travel to see them every week. I will also make sure though that the property I buy will be suitable for them to stay

 

[HJR]

I would be able to afford another house as I would have 20% of the equity plus shares and I have the income to rebuild whereas it will take my wife longer to do so. It’s unlikely my 16 year old will want to visit much I’ll be going down to see her at a weekend and spend the day and then bring my other daughter back with me for the weekend, every other weekend. I do fully accept that as they are older they may not want to come as often as they would if they were younger, so if it’s more visits to them for the day to take them out then I’ll do that. I have moved further north for affordability and closer to my family and travel to see them every week. I will also make sure though that the property I buy will be suitable for them to stay

It’s more the financial settlement as my wife thinks I am trying to screw her over so I was getting a feel for if what I have said is reasonable as I feel that it is.

 

[Ash]

It's more than reasonable!

 

[Jumper85]

I've got much younger children that are still in primary school but the salary disparity is very similar to mine. My ex didn't work for several years but recently went self-employed and earned roughly £10k per annum where as I've consistently earned £100-£130k annually.

I'm currently in the process of going through the courts for settlement and the indicative view from the last judge was that I'd need to forfeit roughly 90% of assets if I wanted a clean break and no spousal maintenance. That would effectively enable her to be pretty much mortgage free in a small house based on the equity we have and leave me with a small house deposit. I'm sure they'd look at my situation differently given the importance of us both being able to house the children, I would have thought in your situation given your daughters ages, you'd be closer to 50/50.

NOTE: I don't pay CM either as we have a lives with both parents arrangement on a 50/50 basis.