Specific Issues Order

[Richie1989]

Hi all,

It’s been a while since I have posted on here. Hope everybody is keeping strong and fighting with all your might!

Just wanted to ask people’s opinion on whether I should or shouldn’t submit a SIO? Am I just wasting my time, providing the bear or doing the right thing for my daughter.
The SIO would cover the following:

1) dual citizenship
My ex partner won’t allow me to apply for dual citizenship for my daughter. I am dual
Nationality and it’s got it’s perks and of course my ex is denying paternal heritage

2) structured FaceTimes
Prior to CAO after my ex singing an agreement to allow FaceTime communication she now doesn’t allow it at all. Just before the full CAO started my daughter went 16 days without any communication whatsoever. I did request but refused saying “it’s not in the court order”. Since then no FaceTime etc has been allowed. Just to add when ever my daughter asks to ring her mum I absolutely allow it. Wen I took her on holiday (half term), odd time as and when and when Christmas morning. I don’t have an issue at all, I think healthy communication should be encouraged not prevented.

3) parents birthdays
I noticed in the CAO there was nothing specific about each parents birthday. I contacted my ex explaining this and with my ex birthday coming up I suggested that as it fell in my term time and our daughter wouldn’t see mummy in her birthday why doesn’t she pick her up from school and return next day. Then on my birthday we could do same. Then every heat following it it doesn’t fall conveniently into the schedule. To my surprise my ex refused! Again saying “it’s not in the court order”.

So basically due to bitterness and to just be petty/vindictive my exs default opinion to anything regardless how beneficial it would be to our daughter is “it’s not in the court order”. She just can’t help herself!

So am I being silly, pissing in the wind or maybe even wasting my time by trying to get these added to the order asap as these things are the only things my ex has to use as power plays now? Amybody had similar?

I am currently going through financial proceedings now CAO is sorted so the SIO would run alongside this. My solicitor is encouraging me to do it and I would be going LIP just for the SIO so it’s not due to money they are saying that. Not sure what to do!

Any thoughts/opinions?

Thanks and keep fighting

 

[Ash]

I'm not sure to be honest. I don't think it's worth doing over facetime calls because any phone calls are notoriously difficult to enforce and ex's just manipulate the situation. If your ex doesn't want them then your child may feel uncomfortable at ex's home talking to you - or just not be herself. I just accepted no phone calls - providing you see them regularly (although it's hard during longer holiday periods).

Parents birthdays likewise. It would be nice to have, and I did have it, but to be honest it was sometimes just easier to celebrate on the scheduled day closest to the birthday.

The dual nationality is presumably so your daughter can have two passports? It's something to consider, but you'd be expected to try and sort it out via mediation first, and be able to show you have tried to reach agreement over this.

It's always difficult weighing up the drama of another court case, compared to just accepting things as they are. It wouldn't be an urgent specific issues application so the timescale would be similar to a standard application to court most likely.

 

[Richie1989]

Hi Ash,

Thanks for your thoughts matey!
Yes I am feeling the same as well. It’s important for me not to get caught up on such things when I have a very very good arrangement.

Regarding the mediation i would bypass that due to the courts now officially recognising the domestic abuse they inflicted on me. I bypassed mediation for financial proceedings along with court fees be waived and also be granted legal aid for the whole proceedings. So I would bypass mediation for this as well.
I suspect this is why my solicitor was encouraging it.

So maybe, I should just forget the FaceTimes as you say last thing I would want to do is put my daughter is an awkward position when ringing from mummys house. Just stick with me being ok with it all my end then at least she’s getting it from that side.

Yes the birthdays of parents doesn’t really matter when she has an equal share of time. Like you say some years will fall well some won’t but then just be flexible and celebrate it before or after. Makes no odds I suppose!

So yes it’s just the dual passport situation that is something that needs addressing. Which is my main point and the others was just making sure I get everything in the SIO so I am not wasting the judges time. It feels petty me even doing it but it’s just something my ex will always use to be vindictive as that’s all she’s got! So it was to put an end to that as well.

Would submitting one just for the passport / dual nationality situation be enough?

Thanks again

 

[Ash]

I think you would need to show why it's important for your daughter to have dual nationality. I can see the point that it is part of her heritage. In terms of traveling to see family abroad, you're allowed to do that anyway. I am not sure how it would be seen to be honest.

A friend of mine had parents from different countries and she chose to have dual nationality when she was 18 - her parents were still married. But as you and ex are separated, I can see it's something you'd want established as she might never agree later and might try and persuade your child they don't want it when they're older.

I would think carefully about it and find out what you can about it. I am not sure parents birthdays could be added as an SIO though as that is more an application to vary. In that case, you might need to do both.

 

[Dirge]

Just a thought about dual nationality; some countries do not allow foreigners to own property, have majority shares in businesses etc. and length of stay in that country may be restricted. If you or your family have assets in that country and your daughter may inherit them, that would be a good argument for dual nationality.

 

[Ash]

Good point!

 

[Richie1989]

Just a thought about dual nationality; some countries do not allow foreigners to own property, have majority shares in businesses etc. and length of stay in that country may be restricted. If you or your family have assets in that country and your daughter may inherit them, that would be a good argument for dual nationality.

This is exactly part reason for the dual nationality. My family have land over there and she will one day inherit it. I don’t want her to have difficulties in future or if anything happened to me unexpectedly. Doing it now as well means she won’t have potential complications later in life of anything changes and restricts her freedom to work within the EU without any long winded visa process. Or even study in Europe if she so wanted to. Then obviously on top of these reason the denial of paternal heritage.