Should I challenge?

[Lifeohlife]

I am 5050 with my ex. We havr 5 children. She lives with her mum and dad while I live in the marital home.

I receive no financial help at all as I am self employed. My ex works 2 days per week and receives all the child tax credits (about £300 I believe), she then gets the cost of living payments (although she doesn't have a house) and of course her own benefits for being a mum and her work circumstances at over £1000.

Someone at universal credits suggest I challenge where the child tax credits go? Should I be due some? I'm not just being salty about benefits etc as I understand what they're for, but I work 7 days a week, while having my kids 5050 of the time, providing solely from my own self employment while she cam have half the week off and be financed from tax credits.

Anyone else been there? Thank you.

 

[Ash]

Tbh I don't think you'll get anywhere at all with that. It would need to be by agreement. As far as I am aware, child tax credits are now scrapped and only people who were receiving them before a certain date continue to get them so I doubt very much they could be changed to a different parent. You could get child benefit for one child each but only if the ex agrees. That's about £25 a week.

I would just thank your blessings you have 50/50 and not rock the boat personally.

 

[Lifeohlife]

I didn't mean child tax credits I meant just the child benefits. It wouldn't be up to my ex if I stopped getting 5050 anyway would it? Surely not everything in this world is leaned towards the mother?

 

[Ash]

Are there any court orders in place, or is the 50/50 informal. If it's informal then yes the Mother can do whatever she wants and the onus is on you to go to court to get the time back. Legally that shouldn't be the case, but in reality, society sees Mothers as the main parent and there is no one to stop them doing what they want. If a Father decided to stop the kids seeing the Mother then the Police would get heavy and you might be accused of abduction or of using the children to control the Mother. When a Mother does it the same rules don't apply!

If you're talking about child benefits, then the only option is to ask her if she will share them so you get them for one child each.

 

[Lifeohlife]

Yeah the system is completed fucked in my opinion. She left me and my 5 kids, I'm in the house, near the school , paying the bills, everything and we have 5050, but she gets it all.

So is there not a process to speak to child benefit about making it formal that she's not thr main carer and we are 5050. I dont understand how in 2024 the system can be like this

 

[capa]

Sorry if I've missed this but do the kids all reside with you? Who is officially the main carer?

 

[Jumper85]

I don't know what the correct term is but the payments for the children as part of universal credit can be split 50/50 as long as you can evidence 50/50 care and that you pay for or towards the children's costs. My ex was claiming universal credit for both children, when I was out of work I started claiming too and the end result, with very little effort was 50% of the payment was paid to me.