S7 report

[Yomi]

Hello guys,

So, I have had S7 report completed.

I saw a letter written by my 8 year old son to the judge saying that I hit him in the back and slapped his sister in the face. He said he misses me and wants to see me, but he is afraid I might hit him again and he would prefer an adult be present.
Cafcass have written in their report that there is no proof and it is not illegal to smack a child as long as no harm. However, they would recommend it be addressed since it is a concern for my son.

Please note that I have never used any form of physical chastisement on my children.

They have therefore made the following recommendations:
1. that I complete a parenting course, initial supervised contact and S7 addendum.
2. they also recommended a separate parenting together course for myself and mum.

I have no problem with completing the courses at all. In fact I would be happy if anyone can send me a link for any of the court approved parenting courses.

My concern is how my 8 year old son was manipulated into writing a letter to the judge telling lies about me. I suspect mum must have told him that is the only way, otherwise he would never see his daddy again.
Should I just let this slide and focus on re-connecting with my children considering the recommendations. I feel the longer contact is delayed the more the kids are prone to manipulations. OR is it worth the effort to take this up at the next hearing? I know mum is trying to put me on supervised care with the children for her own selfish interest. My concern here is the impact of further manipulation on the children and her end goal. Once she sees that this goes unchallenged, there's is the possibility that she would do worse.

 

[Ash]

Well done that sounds very positive. I would let it go because Cafcass have basically dismissed it and clearly don't believe it's an issue.

 

[bujanin]

I have no problem with completing the courses at all. In fact I would be happy if anyone can send me a link for any of the court approved parenting courses.

Yes well done.

The CAFCASS site will show you the way. I think that there're a few - Planning Together for Children is one.

 

[Resolute]

Hello guys,

So, I have had S7 report completed.

I saw a letter written by my 8 year old son to the judge saying that I hit him in the back and slapped his sister in the face. He said he misses me and wants to see me, but he is afraid I might hit him again and he would prefer an adult be present.
Cafcass have written in their report that there is no proof and it is not illegal to smack a child as long as no harm. However, they would recommend it be addressed since it is a concern for my son.

Please note that I have never used any form of physical chastisement on my children.

They have therefore made the following recommendations:
1. that I complete a parenting course, initial supervised contact and S7 addendum.
2. they also recommended a separate parenting together course for myself and mum.

I have no problem with completing the courses at all. In fact I would be happy if anyone can send me a link for any of the court approved parenting courses.

My concern is how my 8 year old son was manipulated into writing a letter to the judge telling lies about me. I suspect mum must have told him that is the only way, otherwise he would never see his daddy again.
Should I just let this slide and focus on re-connecting with my children considering the recommendations. I feel the longer contact is delayed the more the kids are prone to manipulations. OR is it worth the effort to take this up at the next hearing? I know mum is trying to put me on supervised care with the children for her own selfish interest. My concern here is the impact of further manipulation on the children and her end goal. Once she sees that this goes unchallenged, there's is the possibility that she would do worse.

I second Ash's take on this.

To develop the point, your son will be in turmoil. It is not easy being forced to think, say, write things in service of another's agenda. My experiences of similar situations have been varied and continuous for over three years. My child is the same age.

I have found it best to try and do the opposite of my ex. Not to try and pull the child in another direction towards service of my ends. But instead, giving the child freedom and understanding. Time with me is a sanctuary from pressure and manipulation. Security and confidence is provided so that the poison from my ex can find its way out by whatever route it needs to take. I have to swallow my pride and allow the child room to work things out on their terms. Children are extremely sensitive to our motivations. Giving of myself openly so the child can make their choice has been the key for me. They know what the ex won't allow and are caged as a result. Just give time outside of the cage.

 

[MagicJ]

I have a similar experience and can only recommend the above approach.

This guidance helped me survive the process and at the hardest of times practicing what @Resolute consistently advocates ensured that my kids worked through the process in way that allowed them to be kids and not feel the stress, pressure and torment these situations bring.

 

[Resolute]

I have a similar experience and can only recommend the above approach.

This guidance helped me survive the process and at the hardest of times practicing what @Resolute consistently advocates ensured that my kids worked through the process in way that allowed them to be kids and not feel the stress, pressure and torment these situations bring.

That brought a tear to my eye Mj.

Thank you.

 

[mikeayo1891]

BBC News - Jolie and Pitt's daughter Shiloh seeks name change

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's daughter Shiloh files for name change

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt has filed to change her name amid ongoing legal battle between her parents.

www.bbc.com

 

[Ash]

What's odd about that is, why would she need a court order if she was 18? Unless it's different in the US, at 18 you can just change your name by deed poll to whatever you want. And yes it's clear she's turned all the kids against him.