S7 advice please

[18city]

Hi I'm after some advice on a Section 7 report. A S7 report was ordered at our FHDRA as ex raised cannabis use. A 3 month drug test was ordered and came back negative.
Cannabis use was the only concern ex raised in court and the only thing written on the order for Cafcass to investigate. Ex has previously made abuse allegations and undertaking given for NMO but she didn't raise them in Court at all - she has legal aid. Supervised contact every other weekend (all day Sat and Sun in the community) was ordered with a recital saying ex will reconsider location and supervision if test is clear. She still refuses unsupervised so my mum is supervising still - this has progressed to Fri to Sun with overnight at my mums.

Now, I have just had a Section 7 interview over the phone with Cafcass officer. She has seen the children with ex and been to ex's house. Ex has brought up her abuse allegations again and Cafcass have raised these with me even though cafcass were only ordered to report on cannabis use. I have refuted most of them apart from one where I broke an item when she told me she was leaving with the kids.

The cafcass call lasted 50 minutes and it doesn't seem the reporter plans to speak with me again. I invited her to my home to see me with the boys but she said no concerns have been made about my care of the children so doesn't need to. It is clear there is a positive relationship with the kids.

I have spent the last week thinking about everything that was discussed in the call and although there was a couple of things I could have explained better I think and hope it went OK and was child focused. The reporter said she will be contacting my parents as they have supervised but hasn't done as yet.

Just wondered about others experiences with Cafcass? Does it seem usual to just have one telephone interview and should I see that as a positive or a negative?. I'm not asking for much more than I have already, just every other weekend and a midweek (eventually progressing to overnight) and half holidays although that wasn't discussed during the call. I know its hard to predict but I am overthinking and its driving me crazy. The report is due in two weeks.

Thanks.

 

[Ash]

It's a nerve wracking time. You'll just need to wait and see what they say. I think it sounds positive but surprised they didn't come to your house and do a face to face.

 

[18city]

I thought that too but she just said there were no concerns about care of the children so didn't need to. It certainly is nerve wracking. I just don't understand why when the only thing Cafcass have been asked to report on is cannabis use the ex has been allowed to resurrect old allegations.

 

[Ash]

It sounds like they went to see her for the section 7 and see her with the kids and the ex took the opportunity to raise all these allegations again in the hope she could influence Cafcass, but that probably won't wash because they've already been investigated. If they have said they have no concerns over the care of the kids they will probably say there is conflict between the parents. Which is why it's good if you don't say anything bad about her, because then, at the next hearing, you can argue that the conflict and hostility is one sided and there is no conflict on your part - you simply want the kids to have time and happy relationships with both parents. No doubt your ex will still raise the same old allegations in her final statement at a final hearing as well. Which would be great! Because then you can undermine them and prove she's lying and get the order you want. If she does that it will just be seen as mud slinging (and courts don't like that) if she has no evidence to back them up with.

 

[18city]

I was very careful with the conflict between parents. Although I said we don't communicate on handovers (my mum does this as it is supervised). I was clear that communication using an App was good. She asked things like would you tell mum if you had give the kids calpol and I said of course, this would be advised on the app straight away. The allegations haven't been investigated as it was an undertaking with no findings or admissions, but in my opinion they are not even relevant to the kids, they were arguments within the relationship which of course were all my fault as there is only dad who ever argues, never mum. I was also allegedly controlling as I used to face time my kids whilst working away all week even though it was never a problem at the time and even encouraged. How things can get twisted!

 

[18city]

Also there is an issue over the school nativity, ex has said I cant attend as she is going. I said there are two tickets so I will be there and am happy to sit at the other side of the hall. I pointed out to cafcass that ex has insisted I attend handovers but won't attend the same school event. Cafcass said maybe she feels more comfortable as your parents are at handovers, to which I said there are at least another hundred parents at the nativity.

 

[Ash]

Did the undertaking say you would keep a certain distance from her? If so unfortunately the nativity might not be possible. There is no reason why both parents shouldn't go of course and you can sit at the back (I used to do that). Easy to get in and out! Unless the undertaking says you won't be in the same location as her unsupervisred. If as Cafcass say she accepts you being at a location if someone else is there - simple! You just take your Mum to the nativity with you . But I think after the section 7 and when it gets to final hearing, it would be a good idea to take a draft order with you with specific clauses you want in the final order (and put those in your final statement as well). Eg

Both parents may attend school events.

Then in recitals (agreements) have something like - Father agrees he will take someone with him if attending school events.

That will annoy her because it leaves it open for you to take a girlfriend without her complaining

 

[Resolute]

Also there is an issue over the school nativity, ex has said I cant attend as she is going. I said there are two tickets so I will be there and am happy to sit at the other side of the hall. I pointed out to cafcass that ex has insisted I attend handovers but won't attend the same school event. Cafcass said maybe she feels more comfortable as your parents are at handovers, to which I said there are at least another hundred parents at the nativity.

I had the same nonsense on school events, she asked for advance notice of my attendance and tried to convince the school she needed protection from me.

Our nativity was today, it was fantastic. I have been to everything for two years. I just arrive early and get the seat furthest from the entrance. This means that I am never between my ex and her exit from the building. She can see I'm there when she arrives, if she doesn't like, she can leave.

So long as there is no restriction in your order, you are entitled to attend events at the school. If mum scares you off, it will be difficult to re-establish yourself. So don't let her be in charge.

I am just saying what has worked for me.

If she asks what I am doing, I just ignore her and carry on regardless. She has no right to be informed of my plans.

 

[18city]

The undertaking has expired. There are no restrictions on me at all.

 

[18city]

The undertaking was 6 months and has expired. Ex has since written to my solicitor and requested I attend handovers as my mum was collecting on her own previously; now if her abuse claims were genuine would she really be asking for this? A little bit of wanting your cake and eating it if you ask me. The more I write this the more crazy it sounds. The truth is that she wants to give my nativity ticket to her mum but I would never say this to her.

 

[Peanut 21]

Try not to worry about the cafcass report. My main issue with cafcass has been that they have never seen my partner with his kids. They tend to just summarise what was said by both parents and kids.

I totally understand the stress. I think allow yourself a day or 2 of feeling negative feelings and then say to yourself "right what can I do to distraction myself". Even a walk around the block can help clear your head. Whenever my partner gets court paperwork etc it tends to be a write off day then the next day try to look at it from a different angle. Just do anything that gets you moving and not sitting mulling it over. Don't do booze either!!

 

[ESU]

My experience with CAFCASS is that when in the interview, if you are meeting the case worker after your ex, the case worked might ask questions regarding events mentioned by your Ex and want an explanation from you. Of course it is a good chance and also helpful to you in the S7 report to give your part of the story, but bear in mind try to manage your time of meeting because you don't have all the time in the world. Always remember be child focused and portray yourself being children concerned. I realised after my meeting with CAFASS that I spent most of my time to argue against my ex' false allegations against me, but forgot to make any proposal to help CAFCASS to decide how I want to spend my time with my children and why.

 

[18city]

My experience with CAFCASS is that when in the interview, if you are meeting the case worker after your ex, the case worked might ask questions regarding events mentioned by your Ex and want an explanation from you. Of course it is a good chance and also helpful to you in the S7 report to give your part of the story, but bear in mind try to manage your time of meeting because you don't have all the time in the world. Always remember be child focused and portray yourself being children concerned. I realised after my meeting with CAFASS that I spent most of my time to argue against my ex' false allegations against me, but forgot to make any proposal to help CAFCASS to decide how I want to spend my time with my children and why.

This is exactly what happened. Most of the interview was responding to allegations and the S7 report was written the same ie ex's allegations and my responses. She did ask what I wanted though and the S7 recommended what I asked for . A clearly defined proposal sent over to her sols and she's been told legal aid will stop if she doesn't agree with Cafcass recommendations . Back to Court next week for DRA if no agreement by consent before.