Please help!

[Lee8910]

I have received a court application letter. It states that my children's mother has filed a prohibited steps order.

I have to appear in court next Wednesday. I have no solicitor, I cannot get any legal aid and I'm out of work. Cafcass are involved and I have a case worker. I received this yesterday and the hearing is next Wednesday. It looks as if I'm going to have to represent myself. Any tips would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance

 

[Resolute]

What step(s) is the order trying to prohibit?

These people can be very helpful for those in your situation:

Support Through Court

Support Through Court is a charity dedicated to providing free, independent assistance to people facing proceedings without legal representation. No one should have to face court alone.

www.supportthroughcourt.org

I spoke to them a few times, they do not charge.

I'd give them a call. You can prepare a statement and attach any preliminary evidence as exhibits. It depends what she is trying to "prohibit" really. If it is something you were not planning to do anyway, you can just write reassuring her and offer to make an "Undertaking" in the hearing.

 

[Lee8910]

What step(s) is the order trying to prohibit?

These people can be very helpful for those in your situation:

Support Through Court

Support Through Court is a charity dedicated to providing free, independent assistance to people facing proceedings without legal representation. No one should have to face court alone.

www.supportthroughcourt.org

I spoke to them a few times, they do not charge.

I'd give them a call. You can prepare a statement and attach any preliminary evidence as exhibits. It depends what she is trying to "prohibit" really. If it is something you were not planning to do anyway, you can just write reassuring her and offer to make an "Undertaking" in the hearing.

She is trying to prohibit me turning up at his school. My contact with him over the phone has been sporadic and I was worried about his welfare. When I speak to him on the phone it is monitored by her and when i try to figure out whats going on with him she shuts me down. He sent me a text message saying he was going to kill himself. That was after i said no to giving him money. But to me there is a underlying issue that needed to be spoke about. After I received the message from him I called his mum to try and discuss it and she wouldn't take my calls. My son is 8 years old and he goes to school qnd back to school with his older brother. Something I don't agree with anyway. So I knew I could talk to him after school without her influence. My older son called his mum and told her I was there and she said don't speak to him and make your way home. Yes stupidity I did shout down the phone to her and told her I have rights. I also texted her a scenario where if my son wanted to live with me he could and there was nothing legally she could do.

She has now taken the application out and stated I am abusive to her and children and I threatened to take the children away from her. Just for the record I would never ever do that. I was giving her a scenario trying trying demonstrate I have equal rights and I'm entitled to speak to my son in private about any concerns

 

[Ash]

Yep - avoid arguments with the ex. Just keep off the phone . I would be very concerned to get a text from your 8 year old saying he was going to kill himself. But you say it was after you said you wouldn't give him some money? Was that by text too? Could it be your ex sending texts pretending to be your son, asking for money then scaring you to make you pay it? Either way I would be worried. Eight is actually quite an emotionally vulnerable age - they';re on the cusp of puberty and big changes in their brains. My son expressed suicidal thoughts at that age {during a high conflict period when my ex was actively trying to brainwash him to make him reject me).

You're on the backfoot at the moment if she's applied for the prohibited steps. She'll probably get it - unless you counter apply asking for a child arrangements order. And as Resolute says you can also offer to do an undertaking not to turn up at school until Child Arrangements are resolved. Unfortunately she's painting you as an abuser.

Are there any orders at the moment or is everything informal and her calling all the shots?

I suggest you also submit an urgent application (assuming there are no orders currently) on a C100 asking for specific issues and child arrangements. Specific issues is the only reason for it to be urgent. It goes together with prohibited steps. This will be your counter argument basically and to get an order to see your kids regularly.

The specific issues order would be over medical concerns for your son and wanting contact with his GP - using the text you received as evidence. At the same time stating you have been unable to achieve the agreed phone contact so you turned up at school to see if he was ok. That you're happy to do an undertaking not to turn up at school again without prior agreement or a court order, but you need to be given details of your son's GP and an assurance that he has been seen by a Doctor. (That's the specific issues bit). For the Child Arrangements bit you're also asking for an order for regular time with the Children - an increasing schedule from a few hours a week building up to overnights, then a full schedule with collections and drop offs directly to and from school.

I can help you with the application, but you'd need to get it in on Monday (take it to the court ideally) - the court fee would be £232. For a 24 hour urgent application - it would be heard at the same time at the existing hearing on Wednesday.

Having said all that - have you been to court and are there any other orders in place? Ie do you have an order for the phone contact at the moment or is this just all the ex will allow?

 

[Lee8910]

There are no court orders in place. This will be the 1st one. She has agreed in writing from her solicitor that I can have my children every Saturday 10-4 . I countered it by saying my regular access (every other weekend Saturday-Sunday ) has been cut for no apparent reason. I asked for her to facilitate half of this proposal by doing pick up and drop off every other week as I'm currently out of work and my kids are a 45 minute train journey away. She rejected this counter proposal and her solicitor stated that if I cannot commit to 10-4 every Saturday then it will be every other Saturday 10-4. So I got advice and accepted the proposal of every Saturday 10-4. She has now retracted the proposal and told me it's 10-4 every other Saturday or nothing at all. I've been trying to get in contact with her solicitor who has so far not returned my calls and I suspect it's because they are awaiting an outcome of the steps order which is being heard next wednesday

 

[Ash]

I remember now. In a way she's done you a favour by applying for an urgent prohibited steps application as now you'll get a Child Arrangements order quicker and can specify the times you want, to be ordered, along with the arrangements for pickups and drop offs etc. This is the ideal way to get that application in quickly. Don't even bother with her solicitor any more - just get this application in.

Message me and I'll help you complete it. Can you find the £232? I am not surprised your 8 year old is under stress if she has stopped you seeing the boys regularly.

 

[Ash]

If you're on benefits you might be able to get the court fee waived. You'd need to fill out this form - have a look at it and see if you're eligible.

Help with Court Application Fees

Help with family court application fees, when applying for a Child Arrangements order using a C100 form. The application fee is £232 for a C100 application and those on benefits can get fee remission by completing form EX160

www.dadswithkids.co.uk