Paying full CMS, can I stop other non legally required payments?

[sgra]

Hi

I am going through a horrible divorce where my soon to be ex has made false allegations against me, hit me with an NMO and completely turned the kids against me. We are going through the financial arrangements process slowly. I have had to rent a room as well as continue to pay the mortgage on the marital home (on top of full CMS). I am also paying for the broadband and the kids console subscriptions. My question is can I stop paying the b/band and console subscriptions etc as things are tight for me?

 

[Unknown01]

Okay, first of all, you do not need to pay full CMS and the full mortgage. You can apply to the CMS for a downwards variation because a joint mortgage on the former matrimonial home is classified as joint debt under CMS rules. Ignore the guidance that mortgages in properties that you have a financial interest in are not subject to downwards variations; this is incorrect when it applies to a shared mortgage on the FMH and the CMS have already been told to update this guidance.

You can also stop all the other payments. They are not legally binding. At most (unless ordered by a court otherwise) you should be paying either:

1) Your half of the mortgage plus any remaining CMS net of this amount; OR

2) Only your half of the mortgage, if it exceeds the amount of CMS you would have to pay.

If you have been ordered by a court to pay the full mortgage already, then the same rules apply. This figure should be netted off what you pay in CMS.

It's actually quite important you take these steps to minimise what you pay because what you absolutely don't want to do is put yourself in a position where the court thinks you can afford spousal maintenance. Clearly you cannot because at the moment you are unable to meet your own reasonable housing needs and you need to take actions to demonstrate this is the case, including reducing what you pay to your ex by as much as possible.

 

[sgra]

Okay, first of all, you do not need to pay full CMS and the full mortgage. You can apply to the CMS for a downwards variation because a joint mortgage on the former matrimonial home is classified as joint debt under CMS rules. Ignore the guidance that mortgages in properties that you have a financial interest in are not subject to downwards variations; this is incorrect when it applies to a shared mortgage on the FMH and the CMS have already been told to update this guidance.

You can also stop all the other payments. They are not legally binding. At most (unless ordered by a court otherwise) you should be paying either:

1) Your half of the mortgage plus any remaining CMS net of this amount; OR

2) Only your half of the mortgage, if it exceeds the amount of CMS you would have to pay.

If you have been ordered by a court to pay the full mortgage already, then the same rules apply. This figure should be netted off what you pay in CMS.

It's actually quite important you take these steps to minimise what you pay because what you absolutely don't want to do is put yourself in a position where the court thinks you can afford spousal maintenance. Clearly you cannot because at the moment you are unable to meet your own reasonable housing needs and you need to take actions to demonstrate this is the case, including reducing what you pay to your ex by as much as possible.

Thank you for your reply, I have made the application to vary the CMS payments and await the outcome. I will look to stop the broadband and console subscriptions, I feel guilty that it impacts the boys but she is already making me out to be a monster and I need to focus on myself so that I can be in a good place, physically, mentally and financially when things settle down.

 

[Resolute]

You definitely can stop paying household bills on top of CMS and look to have CMS recalculated.

Much as I hate to say it, I suggest you balance financial benefit against enraging your ex. You could establish strict liability and make the overpayment you can manage for the sake of peace/appearances.

 

[Unknown01]

Thank you for your reply, I have made the application to vary the CMS payments and await the outcome. I will look to stop the broadband and console subscriptions, I feel guilty that it impacts the boys but she is already making me out to be a monster and I need to focus on myself so that I can be in a good place, physically, mentally and financially when things settle down.

A lot of resident parents rely on this guilt. Remember you are already providing a lot for them through your CMS payments and would provide more if your ex hadn't made false allegations. Your ex has a responsibility to provide for her children too and needs to get off her lazy fat bottom and earn more to do so; don't let her put all that onus on you through emotional blackmail.

 

[Unknown01]

You definitely can stop paying household bills on top of CMS and look to have CMS recalculated.

Much as I hate to say it, I suggest you balance financial benefit against enraging your ex. You could establish strict liability and make the overpayment you can manage for the sake of peace/appearances.

I don't endorse this approach. Women who make false allegations cannot be trusted and if they are treated in this way will always want more and will never thank you for what you do provide. Once false allegations are made you know they are trying to screw you over mentally and financially and you need to fight back.

Don't fall into the trap of providing more to be "allowed" to see your kids either. She will just keep increasing the "price" and once a new partner is on the scene, no price will be high enough. To see your kids, get a court order.