I was just thinking about people's patterns of behaviour and how my partners ex has been using the same patterns over the years.
As an example, she'll triangulate herself between my partner and his kids. Over the years he arranges stuff for the kids and they would be excited about it.
Then when he'd let the ex know she'd say "well I've asked the kids and they don't want to go" or "have you asked them how they feel about it?"
It's a vicious circle and it's still going on with the one child we see.
All we can do is not put pressure on the kids and reiterate we'd love for them to come but understand if they can't.
What patterns do others contend with and what do you do to counter it?
As an example, she'll triangulate herself between my partner and his kids. Over the years he arranges stuff for the kids and they would be excited about it.
Then when he'd let the ex know she'd say "well I've asked the kids and they don't want to go" or "have you asked them how they feel about it?"
It's a vicious circle and it's still going on with the one child we see.
All we can do is not put pressure on the kids and reiterate we'd love for them to come but understand if they can't.
What patterns do others contend with and what do you do to counter it?