Not sure what to expect C100

[Queensland17]

Hi
I’m new here so will do my best to explain my situation. I’m 42 & have already raised 6 children aged 16-25 to my ex partner/wife for 24 years, (we got together aged 15) me & my ex wife separated around 3 years ago. a good few months later I started seeing someone else all was fine until she started entertaining her other kids dad after a few months so I backed away but she had fell pregnant to me so he went & I was back again ( then around 6 months pregnant she entertained him again) I forgave her because I was so emotionally invested in our child she was carrying (which she knew I was) then 3 weeks after birth she left me fully for her ex again so I walked away & asked if we could make arrangements for me to see our child on set days/times etc but was blocked & ignored. I had to sit back & see her him & our child together & couldn’t even do anything about it so I thought ill give her some space & see if things change before applying to court for a contact order. After around 6 weeks her ex was gone again (me & the ex live 1 min walk from each other) so 1 night I come out of a good friends house (female) but just friends at the time & gets in my car it was raining lightly so put the wipers on but they was gone snapped off the car & my tyres all slashed & nail varnish all over the body work (golf R as well) I didn’t even have time to think who would do that to me & my phone txt it was my ex saying she’s seen my car outside the women’s house & hopes im happy with myself, fast forward a few weeks later & I started to take this female friend of mine out for food etc I’d left my work van outside her house & when we come back my ex was hiding in the bushes & my van had been vandalised (mirrors smashed off wipers snapped spray painted with my child’s name on the side locks glued & window screen smashed) she then tried to attack the women I started seeing telling her she wants a fight etc,(she phoned the police on my ex) they came & arrested her for criminal damage & harassment ( she been texting the women I started seeing & phoning her 100s of times being aggressive and abusive) she was given bail conditions not to come near after being released (me & the women I started seeing didn’t press charges) are days later my ex is arrested again for going to the local shops armed with a knife & kicked to shop door open where her other kids dad was having his haircut & tried to stab him then attacked his car outside the shop & was arrested again, a few days later she’s at his house causing more grief & was arrested again, it was Christmas week so I dropped our child’s presents off on her doorstep (his 1st Christmas) then she got in touch & started begging for me back saying she loves me still & asking me to marry her etc ( I said no & let her down as gently as possible not that she deserved it) so for several months more I’ve had more begging for me back threats aggressive outbursts in public etc from her because I won’t go back to her & I’ve asked for days & times to see our child but she says I can see him when & where she says & says I have to bond with him before she allows me days & times ( I said no because of the conflict that would be around our child) she’s since been arrested again for attacking her other kids dad in public ( yes he keeps going back to her & then leaving) when he’s there I don’t get any communication but when he’s gone she’s back at it again this time she’s gone & superglued my partners brand new car worth over 40k my partner yet again has phoned the police & she’s about to e arrested yet again, I went to the local shops today & seen my ex with our child I tried to get in my van without her seeing me but she did & started to shout things like she won’t be going to court & a few other things I just put my window down & said see you next month ( that’s when the court date is) it’s only took 5 weeks from filling in the C100 to getting a court date, I have a caffcass phone call next week & believe she may also have one, after her confrontation on the local shops today I got a text off her friend saying my ex was there upset & that I was intimidating her ( hand on my heart I honestly didn’t raise my voice or say anything other than see you next month) but her friend is saying she’s going to be telling caffcass & the family court that I have been intimidating her, sorry for the long post I just wanted to give a clear as possible explanation. So my question is will they believe her or will they no about her ( I have a clean record) what if she doesn’t turn up, is there anything she can do to stop me getting access.
Thank you so much for reading & thanks in advance for any advice given

 

[Queensland17]

Also forgot to say she went to my home address & vandalised that to the tune of several thousand pounds again arrested for that & more harassment & stalking of my partner & me

 

[Queensland17]

I have also been sending her money constantly for the upbringing off our child, even though things are this way I still feel responsible for his wants & needs & it just feels right to pay maintenance

 

[Pj66]

Are you sure your the father?

She was cheating on you with her ex, ex either bailed and she's freaking out trying to get you back because she messed up, or her ex bailed after finding out he's not the father and she's freaking out.

Either way, most people advise avoiding a non mol order as it can interfere with proceedings

However, this is 100% a non mol situation, her behaviour is insane, ask CPS to charge her and take out a non mol, your c100 is in so at least you got that in before her.

This woman is insane and she needs deleting from your life. There is no peaceful co-parenting here. She will fxxk your life up till the end of time.

I hope you applied for a declaration and PR with that c100. You need to get primary custody's here, and from what your telling me, if your nose is clean you have a very high chance with her behaviour as described.

Tell the truth to cafcass, general advice on here is don't badmouth the mother, that's fine but tell them you have no issues with the mom and wish to go parent, but tell them truthfully of the police involvement and the behaviour is not in you child's best interests.

If it's as bad as you describe they will see this.

 

[Queensland17]

Filling up writing & reading this, yes I have applied for the C63 & C8 to keep my new address private, 99% sure he’s mine & yes there’s no co parenting with this women on any scale, she’s also sent me pictures of crack & heroin with a pipe & said she’s using to numb to the pain of losing me (manipulation I think) just don’t no what to expect with caffcass & court

 

[Pj66]

There is no 99% you need 100% certainty, make sure you get it in court with parental responsibility order trust me, I went through the paternity test madness myself.

If you have those photos and her saying that, then that is pure gold. You should be applying for resident parent and she should be having supervised visits in a contact centre. It's insane and you must protect this child at all costs.

Is she letting you see the child on your own? If so, withhold that child and don't return them, call the police and ask them to come round for a welfare check in preparation for her to go insane on your doorstep, and show them the photos and texts. Call social services and do the same.

Do not tip her off you are going to do this whatsoever.

100% you need to do this. She is dangerous and a danger to the child. When cafcass call you tell them the same, that she has sent you photos of her doing heroin and crack and sayings it's to take the pain away. And make sure that non-mol is in through the CPS when you do this.

She may give up and you can live your life in peace with your child. Supervises contact centre only, and even then that seems like a stretch if she's as unstable as you claim.

 

[Pj66]

Just realised, if you are not the birth certificate you can't do this as it would be abduction. Il let someone else chime in.

 

[Ash]

I've just changed your username as it was a bit obvious but if you want it changing to someone else, just let me know.

Ok. Did you ask for a "contact order" on the C100 application? If you'd been on here earlier we'd have advised you to have different wording if you did. They are Child Arranagements orders now - either for lives with or spends time with but - if you don't ask you don't get. It's possible to try and change what you're asking for later in a position statement but the other side might argue - that's not what you applied for.

Anyway. I think you need to go to social services personally - show them the photos of the drug stuff and tell them about the multiple arrests and say you're concerned for your child's safety.

There are two options for preventing her attacking you or your property - one is a non molestation order and the other is reporting her to the Police for harrassment. If you report her to the police for harrassment they should give her a warning, and if she does it again she can be prosecuted.

I suggest you have a half hour's free legal advice with a solicitor or three (you can get a half hour free on the phone which may be a bit longer than ha;f an hour, with more than one solicitor, and see which one sounds the most on the ball). I wouldn't pay a solicitor though or take one on - they run up very big bills.

If you have a hearing coming up, then sending a position statement in advance is a good idea, and we can help with that.

 

[Queensland17]

I have applied for a contact order for now as I wasn’t sure what else I could do while waiting for the C63 as well. She has had several years of on/off involvement with social services & they keep closing the case even though they know about the arrests etc I’m in court for the 1st hearing in 2-3 weeks but she’s saying she’s going to tell them I’m harassing her & im not & haven’t once & she definitely has no evidence of me doing so, I think she just wants to try & jeopardise me trying to get contact etc, she has been done for harassment on me my partner & her on off partner the police have bailed her again with conditions not to come near or get in touch

 

[Ash]

It will show up on the Cafcass letter that social services have been involved a number of times and what it was about. I think during the Cafcass call if they say she says you've been harrassing her, just say it's not true and you think she has said that because you've applied to court now, but she has been arrested a few times recently for attacking people in public and damaging property. However if you say you're concerned about your child they will say - why didn't you contact social services? (ie if you didn't, they won't believe you). Do you think the child is safe despite her behaviour towards her exes and your friend? I think I'd be inclined to contact social services if you have concerns about drugs or anything else.

 

[Queensland17]

Yes I have contacted them several times once asking to be included in the cases where my child is concerned & to tell them about the goings on & again recently to see if more involvement is happening but they said they can’t tell me anything as the mother as said not to include me.

 

[Ash]

Ok so you can tell Cafcass that you did contact social services if they ask why you haven't. The main thing with that Cafcass call is that you come across as child focused and have the mantra - I just want our child to have happy loving homes with both parents.

 

[Queensland17]

Yes I’m going to be 100% child focused & not bad mouth the mother, I’m going to be honest about what’s happened & voice my concerns only about him, thank you

 

[Ash]

I'd suggest doing a position statement before the hearing though - sending it to court about a week before the hearing. What did you actually ask for in your application? A number of nights a week or just some time? Would you want 50/50 shared care?

 

[Queensland17]

I didn’t ask for anything in the form I didn’t know I could do that, I thought going to court was for them to decide what access etc I’m given, I will write in to court & say I want 50/50

 

[Ash]

You can do that in a position statement.