No lives with until child is older

[hazemaze]

So without too much detail a report came in for my brother to say he can see his son at a contact centre not at home. Which looks positive.

It's recommended his son lives with the mother until he's old enough to understand he will see his mother again if he starts overnight stays with dad.

His sons just over 2. When do they think a child will understand this. What age do they work off? My nephew lived with both parents at the beginning.

 

[Resolute]

Usually 2 would be old enough for overnights. Does the recommendation come from the ex saying child is scared when away from her? If so, contact centre time will be evidence to the contrary.

Recommendations are not outcomes. This one would need to be well supported by the report as a whole. If it is not, the court can order overnights.

 

[Ash]

That's rubbish! And so biased. They can understand without being able to talk much. They just get used to a routine. It could still be lives with on a 2-2-3 basis. I would say long holidays apart aren't a good idea though. A week maximum with a phone call.

But overall it sounds positive and you can argue against that at a final hearing. So they are saying overnights can start but want some kind of progression before lives with? Those kind of recommendations cause so many problems sometimes because the ex just tries to say progression isn't working blah blah. You would need to make sure any final order was very tightly worded and not woolly stuff like "if overnights go well".

 

[hazemaze]

I can only go off what I'm told but it seems they want to make sure he's going to be OK with dad again and then move forward with possible overnights once he's old enough. Until then he lives with his mother.

 

[Ash]

That's what I mean by biased. Why wouldn't he be ok with his Dad - a parent he knows, loves and has a bond with even if he hasn't seen him for a while. Yes progression should be gradual at first if there's been a long absence but there is no reason a progressing order can't progress to a full lives with both parents within a year as a final order. What they are doing is setting things up for the ex to say - overnights aren't going well, child misses me etc etc and cause trouble. It should be just accepted that over time the child will adjust and that's that. And many Judges will accept that. If there are no welfare issues then the child has a right to regular and significant time, for a full relationship with both parents. Unfortunately Cafcass protect Mothers rather than children IMO.