Narcissists…

[Nujra Rof]

Sadly it's almost the kids fate to have their mother be the way she is.
I think in time as they get more life experience and their brains develop they'll see something isn't quite right with mum.
The frustrating thing is that you can't tell them their mum is a narcissist. No-one can tell them as it's an inbuilt mechanism to stick up for your mum.

And no I would ideally prefer to never say anything negative about there mum (& am extremely hopeful once we don’t have to live together any longer and have our own space it will be less biting my tongue everyday and more secret roll of the eyes and forget it, that’s just her).

I just hope they realise before they become to accustomed to being the way they have to around her/for when with her, if that makes sense. As she doesn’t actually see any problem in herself, and I mean that with not a single shred of doubt - insane as it would seem if you met her and spoke for more than ten minutes, you’d figure it out - she actually has no mates, fallen out with family members (mine and hers, so they don’t speak) and no actual support network - people just run a mile as no one wants to be around that bad energy, sadly as an extension of her I’ve seen people run from me too, almost in a “we like you and really sorry but we just don’t want to be around her” kind of way, sometimes actually spoken and sometimes I just read between the lines.

I hope my kids don’t blindly become like her (she is exactly like her dad and I can see that now). Her dad ran the house with an iron fist, so can only imagine her childhood was very suffocating…similar to how she makes everyone feel around her now…

 

[Ash]

Was this high school presumably?

Mean they all look like babies in the primary school….

No it was primary school! They change a lot once they start school. Other kids tell them things and there is peer pressure etc.

 

[Ash]

And no I would ideally prefer to never say anything negative about there mum (& am extremely hopeful once we don’t have to live together any longer and have our own space it will be less biting my tongue everyday and more secret roll of the eyes and forget it, that’s just her).

I just hope they realise before they become to accustomed to being the way they have to around her/for when with her, if that makes sense. As she doesn’t actually see any problem in herself, and I mean that with not a single shred of doubt - insane as it would seem if you met her and spoke for more than ten minutes, you’d figure it out - she actually has no mates, fallen out with family members (mine and hers, so they don’t speak) and no actual support network - people just run a mile as no one wants to be around that bad energy, sadly as an extension of her I’ve seen people run from me too, almost in a “we like you and really sorry but we just don’t want to be around her” kind of way, sometimes actually spoken and sometimes I just read between the lines.

I hope my kids don’t blindly become like her (she is exactly like her dad and I can see that now). Her dad ran the house with an iron fist, so can only imagine her childhood was very suffocating…similar to how she makes everyone feel around her now…

I know there are lots of worries and what ifs, but you just do your job as a parent. A lot of Dads say it can actually be easier and better once you're separated, because without the other parent around, your relationship with the kids really becomes personal and develops and your time together is better. For them, it's a completely separate life to time with their Mother.