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Lying about court application

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Woodenarm18

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Hello I have never had to deal with anything of this nature so I apologise if I am getting confused. My ex partner stopped contact with my children due to me allowing them to meet my partner and her 2 sons, she has never liked my partner however due to this being irrelevant I allowed my children to meet my partner and her children.

after having my children every single weekend for 8 years as that’s how long our relationship has been over for contact was suddenly stopped when she probed my children into asking if they had met my new partner etc.

she has made multiple false claims however do not want to get into that side of this issue.

Whilst in contact with her regarding our children we share together I was told how she was going to apply to the family courts regarding them to come up with a plan as she has some issues she wants to raise and is hoping they could be sorted via the court, due to this she has stated numerous times in emails and also in non-molestation orders she has applied for against me that she has applied to the family court. I have only recently been told the wait time is roughly 6-8 weeks however it has been 7 months and I still have not received an update. I believe the court reference number is fake however how would I go about proving this ? What can I do if she has faked a court reference and given me fake court papers? It has caused me and my children to not have contact for over half a year when they have been in my life every single weekend for as long as they can remember I am honestly heart broken by this
 
Good morning mate.

So sorry to hear about this.

You've joined a really important community here and you will get some invaluable advice.

Legally , there are men in here that will give you far better advice than I could so sit tight until then.

Have you completed any mediation or been approached for mediation? Have CAFCASS contacted you?

My understanding and experience is that a court will not begin any sort of timeline until mediation has at least been attempted. If you've haven't been contacted by a mediation organisation I would be doing this myself. I had mine within the last year and there were vouchers available to cover all costs.

Sadly, it sounds like your ex has already ticked so many of the boxes that lead men like us to forums and emotional turmoil like this.

What are communications like between you and ex? Be prepared for the most horrendous lies and accusations to come your way.

Stay calm. It feels like you aren't fighting for your children when you are doing nothing but it's absolutely the right thing to do. Do not give these women a single ember to use against you.

Keep an eye on yourself too. It's really important.

Things will improve, it will likely take time but keep posting on here when you need to and we will help you find a way through.

Try and make sure everything you do is something you and your children will be proud of when you look back on all of this.
 
Have you got a court reference number?

If so, I'd be going to the court in person with plenty of ID and ask them.

Solicitors also offer half and hour of free advice.

Perhaps contact one of two of them?
 
Woodenarm18 said:
Hello I have never had to deal with anything of this nature so I apologise if I am getting confused. My ex partner stopped contact with my children due to me allowing them to meet my partner and her 2 sons, she has never liked my partner however due to this being irrelevant I allowed my children to meet my partner and her children.

after having my children every single weekend for 8 years as that’s how long our relationship has been over for contact was suddenly stopped when she probed my children into asking if they had met my new partner etc.

she has made multiple false claims however do not want to get into that side of this issue.

Whilst in contact with her regarding our children we share together I was told how she was going to apply to the family courts regarding them to come up with a plan as she has some issues she wants to raise and is hoping they could be sorted via the court, due to this she has stated numerous times in emails and also in non-molestation orders she has applied for against me that she has applied to the family court. I have only recently been told the wait time is roughly 6-8 weeks however it has been 7 months and I still have not received an update. I believe the court reference number is fake however how would I go about proving this ? What can I do if she has faked a court reference and given me fake court papers? It has caused me and my children to not have contact for over half a year when they have been in my life every single weekend for as long as they can remember I am honestly heart broken by this
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You can contact the court by phone or in person to ask about the application.
If they can't find it, there's your proof it is fake.
 
Like Northern soul mentions if you haven't been contacted by a mediator this sounds very iffy.

I would suggest you contact a mediator yourself and get some advice from a solicitor. You don't need to hire one but maybe get them to send a letter and let your ex know this stuff is going to be dealt with.
 
If you haven't had any court papers or any contact from Cafcass then either

a) there isn't an application
b) the court lost it
c) she applied to court and the court dismissed it

The NMO she could get at 24 hours notice without you knowing about it - but you would have been sent it by the court if there is one.

It sounds like these are all threats, and rather than try and prove she may have faked an application, it would just be better to apply to court yourself and explain what has happened and get the time back. A year is a long time and they may wonder why you haven't applied earlier. Are you not getting to see the kids at all now?

As mentioned above - you need to have tried mediation first. The legal requirement is to have had a MIAM (first mediation appointment on your own) but you can actually just get signed off the MIAM to apply to court, and it's possible your ex did this.

Something similar happened to me after 8 years of coparenting almost half the time (with a very erratic schedule). You have a solid history of parenting, and the trigger was you having a partner. Courts are used to seeing this and you will get your time back with your kids. If you word everything carefully when you apply and we can help with that.

So just book a MIAM (google family mediators in the region - phone round them and ask for an urgent appointment). Go along to the MIAM and explain the situation. The mediator will want to invite your ex to the next mediation session. But you can just ask to be signed off to apply to court (your ex is likely to claim mediation isn't suitable if she's making allegations). So start filling the C100 form in now. You'll feel better once you start taking some action.

I'd download the "paper" copy and do it on computer. It's the second one on the list

www.gov.uk

Apply for a court order to make arrangements for a child or resolve a dispute about their upbringing: Form C100

Use this form to apply for a 'child arrangements', 'prohibited steps' or 'specific issue' order under the Children Act 1989. You might be able to apply online.
www.gov.uk www.gov.uk

More information here

www.dadswithkids.co.uk

How to complete the C100 Form

We thought a guide to completing the form could be useful. This is the C100 form for applying for a Child Arrangements Order, Specific Issues Order or Prohibited Steps Order. C100 form on .Gov website If you scroll down the page you will see...
www.dadswithkids.co.uk www.dadswithkids.co.uk

www.dadswithkids.co.uk

Sample wording for C100 application

Attached are two versions of sample wording for section 5b of the C100 form. The sample wording assumes it's for a Child Arrangements Application. One version is more of a straightforward application. The other version is more for if...
www.dadswithkids.co.uk www.dadswithkids.co.uk

Actually the first link needs updating a bit. It's still correct but I had photos on it before.
 
Hello thank you for your responses, she claimed I had to go to one of her family members homes where they would hold the mediation, i then sent her 4loval mediators for her to pick from via WhatsApp stating how she could pick and I would pay as I just wanted contact to resume however she had denied meaning I managed to get a c100 however she had lied to the courts regarding alleged abuse and emailed me stating how she had alllied for the court for our son and how it was with our local court and then it had been moved, initially she did not believe I had paid for a solicitor and I believed created a fraudulent court application claiming I am a “litigant in person” even though this wouldn’t make sense due having a representative. My solicitor and I had emailed her asking for a response and if her solicitor could contact us and how did she managed to get allocated the court number, when this was brought to her she then would ignore emails. She would turn violent when she saw my new partner shouting and then calling the police claiming my girlfriend had abused her where she claimed to now not want my partner to be “seen or heard” on FaceTime calls as she took a photo of my partners child to get a reaction, I was served with a non mol order however I agreed to under takings in hope this child court case would happen quickly as she had used the reference multiple times in court swearing under oath.

I didn’t apply to the courts myself as I kept being told by her via email that she had applied to it due to wanting our son to maintain a relationship with me and my family however there are a few things she needs in place, for me not to bother applying because there will be double the fees. Once I had applied myself after having doubts she blackmailed me saying if I wouldn’t cancel my case she will get me “imprisoned” for breaching undertakings.

Sorry for the long response
 
Is there a way I can get her charged for this false report she has given me as it has caused us to not see him in 6 months however he now refers to my mother his nan by her first name.
It has wasted 7 precious months of our time together have a negative affect on our bond
 
So you already have an application in? While I can understand wanting to get get charged I strongly recommend you focus on the kids arrangements and bring child focused with the court - for now anyway.
 
Absolutely, 100% what Ash writes above.

It's a horrific process and system, but try to see it as that. A system you have to navigate to best outcome for you and your children.

It's tempting, and possibly even gratifying to fire a few shots back but I'm telling you, it'll be short term gain for long term loss.

Often us dads have to go through the short term loss for long term gain.

All of your grievances are no doubt merited and accurate - try to put them to one side and get your children squarely in the middle.
 
Woodenarm18 said:
Is there a way I can get her charged for this false report she has given me as it has caused us to not see him in 6 months however he now refers to my mother his nan by her first name.
It has wasted 7 precious months of our time together have a negative affect on our bond
Click to expand...
I wouldn't bother trying. They'll see it as tit for tat.
Focus on the kids and getting back time with then.
All the other BS your ex is throwing at you is to create drama and get a rise out of you.
Try to visualise you at one end of a big field and your kids at the other. Inbetween you is a huge obstacle course (court system, social services etc)and you have to get through in order to reach your kids.
Then to add to the mix your ex is throwing mud at you (nasty words and abuse) to make the course more difficult.
It's bloody hard but you have to ignore the mud and concentrate on the obstacle course.
 
Peanut 21 said:
I wouldn't bother trying. They'll see it as tit for tat.
Focus on the kids and getting back time with then.
All the other BS your ex is throwing at you is to create drama and get a rise out of you.
Try to visualise you at one end of a big field and your kids at the other. Inbetween you is a huge obstacle course (court system, social services etc)and you have to get through in order to reach your kids.
Then to add to the mix your ex is throwing mud at you (nasty words and abuse) to make the course more difficult.
It's bloody hard but you have to ignore the mud and concentrate on the obstacle course.
Click to expand...
Absolutely this.

Ultimately they don't care and want some form of agreement between parents. Once that happens all the bs allegations etc just disappear. It's awful but is the reality we face. Doing something about that is a separate discussion.
 
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