Letter has arrived

[MountainGoat]

Hi everyone,

I have been paying twaords my children and my half of the morgage since everything kicked off.

I have now had the letter from the CMS come through which is stating I need to pay CMS for my three children.
I understand that and am not trying to avoid it.

The thing is that currently I am out of the family home as I had no choice to my stbx's allegations and I dont have my own place.
Obviously once we either sell the house or she buys me out I can start again and begin the long journey to get a new home.

The issue I have is why should I have left my home? Obviously the children are with her so I am going to have to pay a lot of money.
She dictates when I see the children currently so can I put down that I want several nights a week on the form?

Anything I need to watch out for? Any tips?

It isnt fair at all all this.

Thankyou.

 

[Ash]

I know it's really upsetting for you. The reality is, possession is 9/10ths of the law and she has an NMO against you doesn't she? So it's no longer your home. It's the former marital home.

Your only obligation now, however is to pay the CM at the assessed rate. You don't need to send money for anything else. It can be complicated not paying the mortgate though, if your name is on the mortgage and you're liable. You could seek to have it remortgaged as interest only to reduce the payments (but that would probably need your ex's signature and agreement as well if the mortgage is in joint names). Or you could send x amount per month with the reference "Child Maintenance" and say she needs to cover the mortgage out of this as well. Possibly. What do others think?

 

[Nanaforsonsjustice]

Check the below link, it explains CMS and mortgage payments as special expenses.

Child maintenance - practice notes around special expenses variations

Child maintenance – special expenses variations Can a non-resident parent apply for a special expenses variation in respect of payments to a mortgage on a property in which the resident parent and child live, where the non-resident parent retains an interest in the property? Information provided...

careers.stowefamilylaw.co.uk

 

[Ash]

Good stuff Nanaforsonsjustice

 

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou for your replies. They are much appreciated.

The divorce is due to be confirmed in a weeks time.

I am still paying monthy mortgage payments as the house is in both our names 50/50.
My stbx's solicitor is taking forever to produce her financials document. I have suggested she either buys me out, or we sell the house.
For the sake of the children, I hope she buys me out. I know that she has the means to do so and her family are all loaded.

At the moment I am being chased by trhe courts to pay their fees for the criminal trial next year that I've said I am not guilty. This is nearly £6000 and they even sent a letter asking for two paymeents in one go, with the letter being sent after the dates saying they needed payment. I'm asking for this to be re-looked at.

On top of that I have this CMS payment, my car repayments, and then somehow have to get back on the housing ladder and find a home. I will have hardly any money to afford to live.

and I've been told if I'm found guilty in court, I've lost my job as I work in education.

I'm screwed!

 

[nothernsoul]

Ah mate.

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Keep talking and fighting.

It's such a shower for us dads.

We're all here to support.

 

[Pj66]

What's the status on your child arrangments CAO/c100?

Sounds like the ex is just setting you up to rinse you even more, she wants to destroy your life, don't let her.

If you have 50/50 you pay no cms , personally I'd tell the cms you are paying nothing until the CAO is in place as any calculation will be inaccurate until that order is made.

Ex is trying to establish you as the cms dad who sees kids every now and then and she takes your life and house, whilst she shacks up with another man to get wasted on your child payments.

Personally , id tell cms you not paying sh"t until you have a CAO in place.

This whiffs of the ex clocking on you are running out of funds and she is going for the cms to hammer her victory home.

Dont pay cms until that order states the arrangements for children, tell the cms exactly what's going on. stop sending her any money.

Use that cms money to get yourself a cheap cheap flat and get set up and stable there, then regroup and think about finances for the rest of the case.

Delay financials on divorce as long as possible using every trick in the book, get the CAO first.

God I can't wait for this woman's world to come crashing down when you get shared care, don't give up!!

 

[MountainGoat]

Hi pj66,
Thankyou for your reply.

Currently we are waiting for a section 7 report to be written.
There has been a change in social worker so I am eager to give her my evidence. She has said "We have to focus on the current situation" but as I keep on saying this situation is due to everything my ex has done and the allegationsshe makes. eg. non molestation orders, etc.

Once the section 7 report is done the court will make the child arrangement order.
Up until now I have been paying half the mortgage as I own the property 50/50 with my stbx and money towards the children. Her solicitor suggested an amount of money which covered this and I agreed so we put in the same amount each.

Can I sersiously say to the CMS I will not pay their payments until the Arrangement order is in place? Will this be ok?

The reason I want the financials out the way is so I can get my half of my things, furniture, etc, and most importantly my half of the house as this is what I will need to start again and get a deposit for a new place.

Thanks again for your help.

 

[Ash]

Can I sersiously say to the CMS I will not pay their payments until the Arrangement order is in place? Will this be ok?

No

 

[Pj66]

No

Interesting to hear how cms is supposed to accurately estimate his payments without the order. If he stops paying , then what?

They pursue him for cms based on exes claims of overnights and time, he gets his order, then he challenges the back payments.

All he has to do is say he has equal care if the children and court process is ongoing.

Either way, this pursuance takes time.

 

[mva]

currently no court order and no overnights, so have to pay cms.

 

[Ash]

Interesting to hear how cms is supposed to accurately estimate his payments without the order. If he stops paying , then what?

They pursue him for cms based on exes claims of overnights and time, he gets his order, then he challenges the back payments.

All he has to do is say he has equal care if the children and court process is ongoing.

Either way, this pursuance takes time.

All Dads are obliged to pay CMS. They assess it based on info from the tax office and whatever the Mother tells them about the number of nights. If there's a court order that states the number of nights you can send that to CMS to prove the number of nights. If there's no court order and ex says no nights per month, then he gets the full assessment unless he can prove otherwise. ie via a court order. This is of course an incentive for an ex to keep a child away to get the maximum CMS. He can't lie and say he has equal number of nights if that isn't the case.

If he stops paying, the arrears accumulate and he'll get bombarded with letters and threats demanding payment. The fact is, that all separated Dads are legally obliged to pay child maintenance. Unless there is a 50/50 order in place.

 

[MountainGoat]

Thankyou.

I’ve just submitted my letter back to CMS.
It isn’t the easiest to do that’s for sure.

Can I ask a question…

I currently pay maintenance that we worked out ourselves. She obviously thought it wasn’t enough so did the CMS on to me.
Do I continue paying each month or wait til the CMS gets started? They say it could be 6 weeks to sort out so don’t want to be back dated when I have obviously contributed each month.
Thankyou.

 

[MountainGoat]

So I've just been on the phone to the CMS.
They've said to stop the payment I was giving my ex per month privately and wait for their calculation and then to pay through that.

Ex has told them she wants me to pay via the Collect service which would cost me 20% more each month.
It is not at all right and I will pay directly. I shouldnt have to pay more.

 

[Ash]

So tell the CMS you would prefer to do direct pay by standing order. No it's not right but your ex is out to hurt you and play the system.