Knowing where to start

[moon_monkey]

Hi All

I'm in a situation where I have been seperated for over 3 years and have a 12 year old daughter. While we have a parenting plan in place which is 2 days per week with me and the rest of the time with Mum (mainly to suit Mum). We have failed to come to any agreement on selling the family home and what to do with the proceeds. I have made various offers, the most recent involving balancing pensions as well as a 60/40 split in equity in favour of my ex but they either get completely ignored or refused out of hand with nothing coming back. We did the first stage of divorce pretty soon after separating but as soon as the financial side needed sorting it came to a halt. I am stuck in rented accomodation and can no longer afford to pay for that as well as child maintenance payments and contribute towards the family home. (I did that for the first 2 years but can't keep going at that level). So for the last year I have just paid the child maintenance figure dictated by the CMS (she went to them when I said it was half the mortgage or child maintenance payments as I couldn't do both).

For obvious reasons I can't let the situation carry in idefinitely, so am wondering where to start to make progress with all this. I did start to use a solicitor but quickly realised I wouldn't be able to fund that for long so stopped).

My question is, can I do this myself? If so where to start? Is it a case of starting with th C100 form? (we did try mediation but she walked out of the second meeting and refused to try again). Or should I be doing something else first as the childcare arrangements aren't necessarily the problem in the short term?

Many Thanks!

 

[Resolute]

Good afternoon,

It is possible to do this yourself. I have as respondent rather than applicant. The process is long-winded, immensely complicated, and pretty opaque. For my third hearing I used a direct access barrister, this resulted in a final order by consent.

Here is the starting point:

Give notice of your intention to proceed with an application for a financial order: Form A

Use this form to start a request for a financial order in proceedings for divorce or ending a civil partnership.

www.gov.uk

If my experience is anything to go by. You will struggle to find anybody who recommends handling financial proceedings without representation. You will be pulling your hair out and repeatedly on the brink of giving up.

But, it is a step by step process that requires total application and very careful judgement. I only got through it by focussing fiendishly on each and every step of the process. It needs long nights of prep. Especially if your ex is likely to be represented.

 

[moon_monkey]

Good afternoon,

It is possible to do this yourself. I have as respondent rather than applicant. The process is long-winded, immensely complicated, and pretty opaque. For my third hearing I used a direct access barrister, this resulted in a final order by consent.

Here is the starting point:

Give notice of your intention to proceed with an application for a financial order: Form A

Use this form to start a request for a financial order in proceedings for divorce or ending a civil partnership.

www.gov.uk

If my experience is anything to go by. You will struggle to find anybody who recommends handling financial proceedings without representation. You will be pulling your hair out and repeatedly on the brink of giving up.

But, it is a step by step process that requires total application and very careful judgement. I only got through it by focussing fiendishly on each and every step of the process. It needs long nights of prep. Especially if your ex is likely to be represented.

Thanks for your reply.
So I don't need to worry about the C100 form then, as I'm just trying to reach resolution on the financial side and am happy to leave childcare arrangements as they are?

 

[Resolute]

That might be a matter of judgement.

Your ex may be inclined to use the child as a pawn in the battle with you. Especially if you have no order in place for child arrangements.

 

[moon_monkey]

Thanks for your help so far. It sounds like it would be worth formalising the child arrangements via the C100 route.

However as we only have the one child and she will be 13 soon which presumably means her wishes will be given more focus. Are there downsides to this as opposed to keeping quiet and just trying to sort the financial side out?

Thanks!