Just posted C79 enforcement order. What happens now?

[jpmerr2021]

My nasty ex has finally found the excuse she has been looking for to stop contact with my daughter.

My severely autistic younger brother (he is only 8) told my 7 year old daughter about masturbation and how to do it. He has obviously heard this somewhere on the iPad or TV possibly.

My ex has now stopped contact stating that I have put my daughter in danger and she needs to be safeguarded from me - Absolutely ridiculous. My daughter and I have the closest relationship in the world and she is destroying it. My ex is very aware that my younger brother is mentally disabled and has absolutely no concept of what he has done or how wrong it is, she knows this, she is a bully.

Social workers have been in touch with my mother obviously but I have not heard a thing from anybody in authority. Nobody has contacted me and as far as I am concerned my ex does not have a leg to stand on.

I have sent the form C79 to the court to enforce the order. The ex txt me and said she will have me done for harassment and has blocked me on everything and refused to open the door and hand my daughter over at the weekend as per the CAO. She has also blocked me on my daughters iPad.

What happens now?

 

[Ash]

You used to get a hearing within 21 days for enforcement - might take a bit longer since the pandemic. The court will probably look at both sides. On the one hand your brother is disabled. On the other hand they will understand ex's anxiety that your 7 year old daughter has been exposed to sexual information. It sounds tricky. I take it your 8 year old brother lives with you. They might take it seriously as wonder why an 8 year old had access to such information as well. I think you'll need to reassure the court that there is parental monitoring of apps for 8 year old and supervision of both children.

 

[jpmerr2021]

You used to get a hearing within 21 days for enforcement - might take a bit longer since the pandemic. The court will probably look at both sides. On the one hand your brother is disabled. On the other hand they will understand ex's anxiety that your 7 year old daughter has been exposed to sexual information. It sounds tricky. I take it your 8 year old brother lives with you. They might take it seriously as wonder why an 8 year old had access to such information as well. I think you'll need to reassure the court that there is parental monitoring of apps for 8 year old and supervision of both children.

Hi Ash

No we were visiting my mothers address at the time and daughter was playing with brother like they always do. I have my own home and daughter stays there, we were just visiting for the night.

Social services have been in touch with my mother but nobody in authority has been in touch with me. At the end of the day the issue of my brother having access to that stuff is for my mum to deal with, the ex is using this ti make me look like a bad parent who put our child at risk… I had no knowledge this had even occurred until I received a text from my ex a couple of weeks later saying contact is being stopped. Why didn’t she phone me and say I don’t want our daughter around your brother anymore? Why am I being stopped altogether from contact and blocked? It’s because she is nasty and has been looking for this excuse for a very long time.

I said to her that I am absolutely in agreement with her that my daughter should not spend any time around my brother (regardless of his age and disability) but nope this is not good enough apparently, contact must be stopped with me!

My ex is a horrible human being hated by everybody and this is completely in her character

 

[Ash]

She has no excuse then if you've given her that assurance. And I'm sure that'll come out at the enforcement hearing. Cafcass will see it as a "trust issue" and hope to build reassurance etc. Suggest your Mum sets some parental controls on the ipad! Your brother won't understand anything was wrong so yes it was cruel of your ex.

 

[jpmerr2021]

She has no excuse then if you've given her that assurance. And I'm sure that'll come out at the enforcement hearing. Cafcass will see it as a "trust issue" and hope to build reassurance etc. Suggest your Mum sets some parental controls on the ipad! Your brother won't understand anything was wrong so yes it was cruel of your ex.

Exactly but going to court again scares me. I just have this sick feeling they won’t see it that way and I will have to jump through hoops.

Surely they will see this is just her being spiteful to me

 

[Ash]

One thing with enforcement is they like to see you’ve tried to resolve any issues. Which presumably you have. DP it could help if you can show you’ve sent a kind of polite email or text to ex reassuring her that daughter is perfectly safe and suggest discussing things.

Obviously you won’t feel much like doing that but it could help show you bent over backwards.

For it to be a breach, your ex has to have no reasonable excuse for withholding child. She will say it was safeguarding- but that’s where your polite email can help as evidence as it shows you had assured her of various things (eg not leaving your daughter with brother without someone around etc).

Doing a position statement a week to 10 days before the hearing can help so you can put your points across.

If you haven’t already I’d send a kind of biff email or text to ex (brief informative friendly formal). Eg

Dear Ex name

I am writing to request please that my daughter is allowed to spend time with me as usual.

I am aware you have raised an issue regarding my 8 year old autistic brother and I am writing to assure you that you need have no further concerns. Our daughter will not be seeing him for a while and if she does I will ensure they are not left alone together.

I think the important thing is that our daughter needs both of us and I ask that you cease to prevent her seeing me. I think this matter should be dealt with via discussion and look forward to hearing from you”

Now obviously that isn’t how you’d normally write prinsbky but it doesn’t matter. It keeps it personal and it’s good evidence at your attempting to diet it out reasonably. Whatever kind of response you get back may be evidence she is being unreasonable.

I think you will do fine and will get the order enforced but your position statement might need to be carefully worded.

You could even add - “if we’re unable to sort this out I will need to ask the court to enforce the order.”

Even though you’ve already applied. That might possibly make her back down.