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Is the child mine

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Hello guys,

Again, its complicated. The marriage is over and I want to move on. I need to know if our child is mine, can anyone tell me if I can be tested alone or does the process require myself and the child to take part i:e DNA test, any other test available?

Many thanks
 
if you were married when you had the child, you automatically have parental responsibility. Therefore you have the right to confirm paternity and obtain DNA from the child.

My advice, do not tell the ex you are ever doing this and keep it under wraps, until you know the outcome, there is no benefit to letting her know other than to send her on a warpath.

You can do a piece of mind DNA test the next time the child is in your care rather than do the legal DNA test route.

If confirmation from the peace of mind route is that the child is not you'd, you can then consider doing the legal test as well as to if there are further legal implications.

Peace of mind tests can be found for around 100£ a quick google search will sort you out.
 
I think that is risky personally, because children aren't good at being expected to keep secrets and it can make them uncomfortable. Your ex is bound to find out - if your child is more than a year old. And your child will feel pressured.

Also I'm not entirely sure that would be classed as a legal test. What makes you doubt the child is yours? Have you had doubts before or just thinking on the off chance that a negative DNA would mean you don't have to pay child maintenance?

You'll need a court approved one in case you need to prove definitely. There's a list of court approved labs on the link below.

How about just telling her you want a dna test? How old is your child?

When you say you want to move on, do you mean you don't want to keep contact with the child?

 
Hi Guys,

My son is 21 years old, we were not married until 2019, we've been together since 2000 ish. The marriage is over has been for a while, I want out, we own this property together. I spoke to a solicitor and she said that the courts will kick the game off at a 50/50 split. I only want a sixth of the current value. When it comes to a DNA test, must it be a swab, as opposed to hair. I've clearly got a lot of homework to do. My concern is for our son, if he found out that I'm not his father, well I don't know how he would react and feel, so I don't want him to know, but I'm not sure just how far the wife would go, she has a daughter and her mother and I don't think they would take this well either, however blood being thicker than water.

Many thanks for getting back to me
 
Is 21 a typo? You wouldn't be going to court for a 21 year old?! 12 maybe? The unofficial route is a cheek swab which you can't do without your son knowing about it and can't really keep it a secret from him. I think the official route is blood tests of the parents. There may be an official route involving cheek swabs as well but the child would know about it then. When you say a 6th, do you mean of the house or of 50/50 time?
 
Not a typo, hes 21, Im emailing some of the labs to see if there is another way and thinking of how I can get him to take a swab without making it obvious, sounds impossible, but I have an idea. Cheers again
 
Ok so you were talking about 50/50 for the house. I don't think you should trick him into doing a swab. This is something that needs a serious conversation. Do you get to see him at all? Or does he live with his Mother? Does he know you're separating? I think you need to pick the right time for this - what's the rush to do the DNA test right now with the divorce going on? When it's a good time just be honest with him and say - you think it's important for him and for you to be absolutely certain you're his Father - and you think you are but the best way to know is if you both do a swab. And if in the unlikely situation it turns out you're not, you will still always be his Father in your mind and heart.

What has given you doubts about who his Father is now he is 21? Or is it related to money?
 
Thanks man, your right of course, he knows about the seperation, the wife doesn't know about the up and coming divorce, I need to sort living arrangements first. The important bit has been niggling all day. Back to the drawing board.

Thanks
 
It won't be a 50/50 as I don't need nor want that, but I'm not leaving with nothing. The solicitor said that the courts will start at 50/50 and then I assume will make a decision on what they are hearing/believe I suppose
 
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