ICFA - Court Appointed

[DadLad]

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share an update regarding my situation. Following the recent ICFA sessions, which I believed were instrumental in rebuilding my relationship with my child, we have a beautiful, loving and thriving bond.

The mother has now decided to refuse further contact after the ICFA sessions have concluded. She has also refused any communication with me which makes any co-parenting extremely difficult. She has also refused to share any school information with me.

The progress we made during those sessions has been significant, and I fear that halting contact will undo all the hard work we’ve accomplished in reintroducing our bond. The thought of not seeing my child for several months is distressing for me, but what weighs even heavier is the emotional impact this will have on our child.

I’m reaching out to see if anyone has experienced a similar situation and can offer guidance on how to navigate this challenging time. Any support or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.

 

[DadLad]

Ive raised my concerns with Cafcass. This was a balanced and formal email rather than an attack.

 

[DadLad]

Cafcass are basically saying that they can't force the mother to do anything. They are absolutely useless.

What are my next steps/ options?

C2 urgent court order for interim contract?

 

[Pj66]

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share an update regarding my situation. Following the recent ICFA sessions, which I believed were instrumental in rebuilding my relationship with my child, we have a beautiful, loving and thriving bond.

The mother has now decided to refuse further contact after the ICFA sessions have concluded. She has also refused any communication with me which makes any co-parenting extremely difficult. She has also refused to share any school information with me.

The progress we made during those sessions has been significant, and I fear that halting contact will undo all the hard work we’ve accomplished in reintroducing our bond. The thought of not seeing my child for several months is distressing for me, but what weighs even heavier is the emotional impact this will have on our child.

I’m reaching out to see if anyone has experienced a similar situation and can offer guidance on how to navigate this challenging time. Any support or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.

unbelievable, C2 on an urgent basis and email the court and ask to forward to the judge.

Mother essentially saying you had your reintroduction and now now further, ridiculous, she will get a scolding if the ICFA foudn no issues.

C2 ASAP

 

[Peanut 21]

The mother has now decided to refuse further contact after the ICFA sessions have concluded.

Do you have this is writing?
If so attach to the C2.

 

[DadLad]

Just what the mother has said to the facilitator but I've asked for it in writing from the facilitator.

The notes provided from ICFA will show the mother is refusing any form of communication and will not agree to contact continuing after ICFA has finished.

The months of hard work, time and effort will be reversed. And most importantly, the wellbeing of our child will most definitely take a negative turn.

 

[DadLad]

Sooo...

The ICFA facilitator has tried to negotiate with the ex. Who is still refusing any form of direct communication.

Communication has to go through her family member and contact has to be controlled and supervised by this same family member.

This same family member isn't impartial and has previously made a false statement to the court. This same family member is easily manipulated by the ex and will most DEFINITELY be made to lie, covertly record visits and calls etc.

The ICFA sessions have been weekly for 1hr which also reflects the facilitators recommendations to continue interim contact on a weekly basis but with increased time to 3hrs.

The ex has refused this and wants fortnightly and still only 1hr.

The facilitator has said that there is no need for supervised contact, our child is extremely happy, safe and content with me and this is evident in the sessions.

The court order says that there are no safeguarding concerns and no bar to contact yet the ex is still trying to put restrictions and control in place without any justification.

Im absolutely fed up with her, Im making a lot of positive progress yet the ex is still trying to limit and control everything.

I need to give my suggestions for contact but I know that the ex will disagree to anything that I put forward.

 

[mikeayo1891]

You're just wasting your time trying to appease her. I advise you to just do a C2 application whilst you continue with your negotiation. Its clear that this is a set up for this family member to make further false testimony about what she supervised you with the child. This will them water down the positive report from the ICFA. My advice is to reject the family member and just go back to court with your positive ICFA report.

 

[bujanin]

Cafcass are basically saying that they can't force the mother to do anything. They are absolutely useless.

What are my next steps/ options?

C2 urgent court order for interim contract?

CC can't force the mother it's the job of the court to do that but they have power to heavily influence the court.

 

[Ash]

Agree with a C2 application but try and have something in writing to go with it. Was Cafcass stuff just verbally on the phone? I wouldn't actually say to Cafcass yet that you intend to do a C2 though. Texts from the third party might help.

 

[DadLad]

Agree with a C2 application but try and have something in writing to go with it. Was Cafcass stuff just verbally on the phone? I wouldn't actually say to Cafcass yet that you intend to do a C2 though. Texts from the third party might help.

Verbally from the ICFA facilitator. I've asked ICFA repeatedly for this to be in writing.

 

[Ash]

That's ok, I'm sure she'll back you up. She might be asked to attend the hearing anyway. Anything in a text from ex's representative? Or was that done to the ICFA?

 

[DadLad]

That's ok, I'm sure she'll back you up. She might be asked to attend the hearing anyway. Anything in a text from ex's representative? Or was that done to the ICFA?

During the ICFA meetings etc the mother has confirmed the following:

• Refuses to have any direct communication.

• Refuses to share school information.

• Won't agree to contact after ICFA unless it can be supervised by her family member (who has previously made false statements to the court and isn't impartial and can't be trusted)

The ICFA facilitator has made extremely positive observations and the contact sessions are going incredibly well.

We both did the court ordered co-parenting course, she clearly hasn't learned a single thing.

 

[Peanut 21]

We both did the court ordered co-parenting course, she clearly hasn't learned a single thing.

In her mind she will think the course doesn't apply to her.

 

[DadLad]

In her mind she will think the course doesn't apply to her.

Absolutely.. that is her mentality

 

[DadLad]

ICFA have recommended unsupervised contact with progressed time.

Mother is refusing any direct communication and won't allow contact unless it's supervised by her choice of family member.

The court found no findings, and the judge ordered no bar to contact.

The mother is still using allegations which were not found as her reason for enforcing supervised contact.

We have a final hearing early next year.

Where do I stand with this?

 

[Peanut 21]

ICFA have recommended unsupervised contact with progressed time.

Mother is refusing any direct communication and won't allow contact unless it's supervised by her choice of family member.

The court found no findings, and the judge ordered no bar to contact.

The mother is still using allegations which were not found as her reason for enforcing supervised contact.

We have a final hearing early next year.

Where do I stand with this?

Ffs. So there's no interim order in place?

 

[DadLad]

Ffs. So there's no interim order in place?

Nothing at all. Just what ICFA recommends and a parenting plan (if agreed)

 

[Peanut 21]

It's an absolute joke when they say if agreed between parents because one always bends over backwards and one disagrees.
There needs to be a serious reform in family courts.

 

[DadLad]

It's an absolute joke when they say if agreed between parents because one always bends over backwards and one disagrees.
There needs to be a serious reform in family courts.

I literally have an ultimatum. See my child under these extremely controlled conditions made by the mother, which could ultimately be a setup to hinder the positive ICFA report.

Or wait until January for the final order.