ICFA advice

[Fiji107]

Brief backstory… currently in CAO case, CAFCASS recommends no interim contact until parentage has been established, dna results prove child is mine. Court still refusing interim contact due to safeguarding report. There have been no safeguarding claims regarding the child, mother and I split before he was born and I’ve been denied contact using the usual DA claims, none violent, of controlling and coercive behaviour. Fact finding hearing has been ordered but mother is doing everything she can to delay proceedings.
Can I ask the judge to go down the route of ICFA to speed up building a relationship with my child? I’ve requested supervised contact via a contact centre but mother is refusing even though she stated in an earlier report that she wants supervised contact etc

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

Brief backstory… currently in CAO case, CAFCASS recommends no interim contact until parentage has been established, dna results prove child is mine. Court still refusing interim contact due to safeguarding report. There have been no safeguarding claims regarding the child, mother and I split before he was born and I’ve been denied contact using the usual DA claims, none violent, of controlling and coercive behaviour. Fact finding hearing has been ordered but mother is doing everything she can to delay proceedings.
Can I ask the judge to go down the route of ICFA to speed up building a relationship with my child? I’ve requested supervised contact via a contact centre but mother is refusing even though she stated in an earlier report that she wants supervised contact etc

It depends how old the child is now , how long since you last saw them and what sort of established relationship you have with your child. The court will almost certainly start with supervised contact via ICFA, be patient, it is a slow process, but push for interim arrangements at the next hearing.

 

[Fiji107]

It depends how old the child is now , how long since you last saw them and what sort of established relationship you have with your child. The court will almost certainly start with supervised contact via ICFA, be patient, it is a slow process, but push for interim arrangements at the next hearing.

He’s 9 months old. I’ve never met him, been denied contact and told as such before he was even born. Been denied photos or any kind of information or update as to his health and development. I’ve asked for supervised contact and been told flat out no. It’s a classic case of a bitter mother attempting to erase me from his life completely, even stating to children services that mother wants her ex husband to “be the male role model” in his life. Even though she always maintained that ex husband was an abuser

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

He’s 9 months old. I’ve never met him, been denied contact and told as such before he was even born. Been denied photos or any kind of information or update as to his health and development. I’ve asked for supervised contact and been told flat out no. It’s a classic case of a bitter mother attempting to erase me from his life completely, even stating to children services that mother wants her ex husband to “be the male role model” in his life. Even though she always maintained that ex husband was an abuser

The court will want to to see a level of commitment from you ( for long term) for you to convince them to let you establish a relationship.

 

[Fiji107]

The court will want to to see a level of commitment from you ( for long term) for you to convince them to let you establish a relationship.

I’ve been fighting to see him since he was born, paid child maintenance since he was born until the mother tried to have me arrested for paying that money. Started a CMS case and was paying through there until the mother closed her bank account so I couldn’t pay it.
I’m not sure how much more I can do at this stage to show more commitment. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Beating in mind the mother is doing absolutely everything she can to block any kind of contact or knowledge that I have of him.

 

[Ash]

I think requesting ICFA might be an option but I don't know much about it. First thing to suggest maybe, would be supervised time at a contact centre. This will enable you to get contact centre reports which hopefully will be good and help your case.

 

[bujanin]

I am not certain but having gone supervised - supported - unsupported - ICFA - I believe that ICFA is generally ordered at a certain point in the process. I think that a court going straight to ICFA is unlikely due to what it is used for. Supervised is probably the route.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

I think the first thing the court will want to do is a DNA test to prove maternity, it seems like the mother is denying you are the father. It is quite refreshing that she doesn't seem to want you to pay maintenance, this shows that there is some good character there. I doubt you are going to any contact for some time , until the court establishes you are the father and have a commitment to a relationship, which is in fairness going to take some time. But at this age, it is not going to cause as many problems than if the child was older.

 

[Fiji107]

I think the first thing the court will want to do is a DNA test to prove maternity, it seems like the mother is denying you are the father. It is quite refreshing that she doesn't seem to want you to pay maintenance, this shows that there is some good character there. I doubt you are going to any contact for some time , until the court establishes you are the father and have a commitment to a relationship, which is in fairness going to take some time. But at this age, it is not going to cause as many problems than if the child was older.

neither of us denied I’m the father, however the mother claimed that I was denying being the father which I never have, and a dna test was ordered. Results show I am the father.
Re maintenance, I believe the mother is so adamant that she wants me cut out of our child’s life completely she’s refusing maintenance, but at the same time complaining that I’m making no attempt to support our child. That’s obviously easily proven to be false as I have bank statements and CMS records to prove Ive done everything I can to do so. She’s extremely manipulative and attempting to control the narrative completely.

 

[Peanut 21]

this shows that there is some good character there

Not sure about that.

 

[Fiji107]

Not sure about that.

You’re right, it’s quite the opposite. She’s claiming that I’ve made no attempt to support our child yet when I was paying she contacted police to claim I was harassing her by paying it and that it had to be done “through official channels”. Then she used it to get a non-mol on me saying that I was harassing her ”paying random money into her account” as controlling and coercive behaviour despite the payments being clearly labelled as child maintenance and her emailing me about it under the header “chikd maintenance”. I then opened a case with CMS myself. She accepted it then closed her bank account. When CMS contacted her to get account details she gave them fake account number… I’ve asked her solicitor several times to supply valid account details and it’s just been ignored. Now she’s claiming that she’s given me bank details and I’m failing to pay… stupid thing is all of this is documented. The level of manipulation is unreal yet she’s claiming I’m controlling and coercive. I keep telling the court all this and it just falls on deaf ears. I literally don’t know what else I can do to show I’m committed to wanting to be in my child’s life

 

[Peanut 21]

In terms of child maintenance, if you can't pay her as she blocks the account, could you set up a junior isa for your child?
That way you'll have an account to prove you're trying to provide for your child's future.
Just an idea.

 

[Fiji107]

In terms of child maintenance, if you can't pay her as she blocks the account, could you set up a junior isa for your child?
That way you'll have an account to prove you're trying to provide for your child's future.
Just an idea.

Yep I’ve already done that. Along with changing my will (I own a modest property) with a trust set up so everything goes to him at 21.