I think I'm being fair. Will a judge?

[jtcm0]

Hello,
In just over a week I'll be going back to court with my ex partner to get the order updated.

The main reason for going back to court was more time that our daughter spent with me. Since I put the application in we've managed to get to overnights every other weekend and 6 hours on the friday before my ex partners weekend. My ex was told by keyworkers that if she doesn't give overnights a judge likely would.

I want what we've agreed in to an order and I also want to get the finer details sorted as well. Such as Christmas and new years as well as my birthday and my ex partners birthday our daughters birthday and holidays (school holidays and general holidays)

This is what I've suggested

For Christmas ive suggested we do alternative years so one parent gets Christmas eve and Christmas day the other gets boxing day. And whoever doesn't have Christmas eve and day gets new years eve and new years day and then swap it the following year. My ex wants us to have half Christmas day each year.

For our daughters birthday ive suggested we again do alternative years and the parent who has our daughter throws a party for our daughter and invites the side of the family. When she gets to school age it can stay as alternative years but the party can be at the weekend to avoid conflict with school commitments. My ex partner doesn't want this she'd rather do joint events. She doesn't want our daughter to wake up with me on her birthday and her reasoning for that is because she's the one who "grew her for 9 months" and "went through 16 hours of excruciating labour"

For my birthday and the ex partners birthday as they are different days we each have our daughter the night before our birthdays and the actual day. She's agreed with this.

For Easter I've suggested that one year one parent gets good Friday and Saturday the other gets Easter Sunday and Monday and swap the following year. She's agreed with this.

Holidays ive suggested during 2 weeks half-term our daughter spends a week with each of us with the 6 weeks I've suggested 3 each and one year I have the first 3 weeks and the following my ex has the first 3 weeks. She doesn't want to this because she felt homesick when she'd do this with her mum and dad. Of course that doesn't mean our daughter will be the same.

Any opinions of this will be greatly appreciated and also what you think a judge would say about this.

Thanks in advance

 

[Roblox]

Hi

I think it's reasonable.

Sometimes on special occasions courts will just say its whoever the schedule says the child is on that day so sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

I think court will agree on Christmas. Birthdays I think is a bit less certain, would defer to others. As it could depend on whether it falls in the week or not (if in the school year) and then you get into the whole best interests of the child realm.

Only other thing, blocks of 3 weeks I don't know if court will agree but again will defer to others.

 

[Roblox]

Overall though you seem to have agreed the majority which the court will be happy with. Could you agree to shared birthdays to get alternative Christmas.

You also need to think about whether your ex will follow the court order. So let's say you compromise on birthdays to get alternative Christmas' but your ex is hell bent on getting some of Christmas day then you mind find she finds a way to do this whether it be via illness or something.

 

[jtcm0]

Hi, thanks for the response

Yeah I'm not too sure on the birthdays what the court would say. I mean my ex partner has agreed in so much as to say it would be nice for our daughter to wake up with me on her birthday but still doesn't want to do alternative years with it despite this. Now in my view my daughter has two birthdays her actual birthday and the day I 100% found out she was mine through a DNA test. So whilst I'd prefer her actual birthday I could reluctantly compromise to have that day she wakes up with me instead of her birthday although that's another compromise on my part and there is always the risk you've highlighted in that she could find a way to make it so my daughter doesn't have that day with me.