Hi, after a bit of advice please. I divorced about 5 years ago and the ex was insistent that she was the primary carer of our boys so I ended up having the boys every other weekend plus every Wednesday. On average it worked out 2-3 days a week access. I couldn't argue against this as was working long hours Monday - Friday.
I'm fortunate enough to earn good money, so my CSA works out at over £1,200 per month.
Fast forward 5 years, I'm now working from home a couple of days a week (following COVID) and have ended up negotiating having the boys more. I now have them 50% of the time. The ex agreed to this on the basis her CSA payments didn't change. I agreed at the time, but am now feeling this isn't fair.
I also help out on additional payments (sharing costs for tutoring, prom suits etc etc).
Ultimately I'm really happy with how often I see my boys now and the boys are happy which is the main thing.
I suspect if I raise the CSA payments with my ex she will just say that if the payments stop or reduce then the boys will have to spend more time with her (which I don't think the boys will like). She's since had another boy with her new partner and I feel my CSA payments are supporting him, and not necessarily mine!
I'm not proposing to stop CSA payments altogether but feel they should be reduced. Things are fairly amicable between me and the ex and this will cause friction, but I can't help but think I'm being mugged off (even though I know my boys are happy).
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
I'm fortunate enough to earn good money, so my CSA works out at over £1,200 per month.
Fast forward 5 years, I'm now working from home a couple of days a week (following COVID) and have ended up negotiating having the boys more. I now have them 50% of the time. The ex agreed to this on the basis her CSA payments didn't change. I agreed at the time, but am now feeling this isn't fair.
I also help out on additional payments (sharing costs for tutoring, prom suits etc etc).
Ultimately I'm really happy with how often I see my boys now and the boys are happy which is the main thing.
I suspect if I raise the CSA payments with my ex she will just say that if the payments stop or reduce then the boys will have to spend more time with her (which I don't think the boys will like). She's since had another boy with her new partner and I feel my CSA payments are supporting him, and not necessarily mine!
I'm not proposing to stop CSA payments altogether but feel they should be reduced. Things are fairly amicable between me and the ex and this will cause friction, but I can't help but think I'm being mugged off (even though I know my boys are happy).
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
It's unfair isn't it? To have to pay to see your kids. I was stuck in that position for some time too. It's a bit like blackmail. I think to keep the 50/50 time you're going to be stuck with the current financial agreement. You could maybe try, carefully, saying to her, that could you agree a set amount without extras each month as you're earning less now. But tbh - nobody wants to give up regular money willingly!