How to raise PA with ‘professionals’

[Inadadsposition]

Hi all,

I need advice on my situation. I had a breakdown due to coercive control—by my child’s paternal grandmother, who has PR alongside the father and me. A 9-month supervision order (intended to progress contact) ended in September 2024, but I spent 85 weeks in a contact centre for no reason. Social workers say they “can’t make her†move things forward.





The father disengaged entirely—he didn’t attend meetings, didn’t do interventions, and doesn’t handle schooling or healthcare. I, however, engaged in VIG, therapy, a domestic abuse recovery course, and even proposed a slow, structured parenting plan. Every step forward was blocked by the grandmother, who has manipulated professionals and even gone against a court order (e.g., secretly obtaining a passport and taking my child abroad).





She’s now stopped all contact since December, falsely claiming I’ve harmed my child emotionally. I have a court hearing in April, but I’m worried CAFCASS and the judge will buy into her lies. My child has always said they want to come home, and I’ve done everything possible to prove I’m safe and capable.

Nan has refused all indirect contact. Refused all birthday calls and two Christmas in a row. Stopped contact early December saying I’m promising child they can come home and making them tortured with the weight of responsibility for me. No evidence in the therapy report. I’m at a loss

 

[Ash]

Hi. I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I take it you're the Mum? Your post has come out a bit oddly with all kinds of special characters - maybe a phone typing issue? But I followed it.

So you've been having supervised time in a contact centre and the paternal grandmother has now stopped that, is that right? It sounds like they are accusing you of trying to tell the children they can "come home". Home is basically where their parents are, and with two parents, they have two homes. So if you have been saying anything like that then they will see it as manipulation. Your children will of course want to see you.

So you have a hearing in April. You need a good position statement to show you're in a better position and you are supportive of the children spending time with both their parents. You mention that your time has been unilaterally witheld.

A hearing would usually be to progress to the next stage, and you would presumably be arguing for progression of time - eg supported in the community rather than contact centre.

What therapy report? Do you have legal representation? You don't actually raise PA with professionals. You let the courts decide if it's PA or not - you describe the situation and what is happening. At the moment it sounds like both you and the paternal family are accusing each other of PA.

Have you had a section 7 report yet?