How to play this?

[Grant55]

I am due to have my S7 interview with CAFCASS sometime in the next couple of months. I have read through all of the posts on here concerning S7 and take on board about keeping it all child focused.

The mother has made several allegations against me all of which are untrue and I have documentary evidence to disprove everything. These allegations were made both in the initial safeguarding report and her position statement at the first DRA. She's not the brightest button in the box and ends up dropping herself in it either by text or email and has undone herself by saying things like, I was told to say that.

Once this matter goes to the final hearing, my barrister will no doubt be able to address these false allegations and I don't think she will have anywhere to hide.

However, I do get the impression that having CAFCASS support in their S7 report is very important. My solicitor said that the court will generally go with whatever CAFCASS suggest, although not 100% of the time.

My question is, do I address these false allegations during my S7 interview and produce the evidence that the claims are untrue in the hope of getting the support of CAFCASS? Obviously there's no guarantee it will sway their thinking and I suppose it could possibly have a negative impact on my case. I base that entirely on the comments I have read about CAFCASS bring bias towards the mother.

I'm reluctant to give any specific details of the allegations she has made in case she is reading posts on this site. Suffice to say, they are all pretty petty, low level and would probably be described as mud slinging.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[Roblox]

Hi

So typically Cafcass speak to the Mother first. Possibly also the kids. They'll then speak to you.

Initially they'll ask some basic questions and then (in all likelihood) start talking about the allegations. If you have evidence that contradicts specific allegations then it's fine to say this isnt true because of x or y and you have this evidence. If it's not so clear cut just say thays not correct my recollection. They may ask why the ex has said x or y but just give a generic answer.

You can do this without mudslinging yourself.

As you mention keep it child focused and as much as possible try not to make it about the ex. Try and highlight even one or two good points given in this case the allegations are low level.

Does she have mental health issues? I'm not sure as I don't live with her anymore etc.

How old are the kids and what are you going for in terms of time with your kids.

Also if its a call with cafcass record it. They won't know and it can be handy for subsequent reference.

 

[Grant55]

Hi

So typically Cafcass speak to the Mother first. Possibly also the kids. They'll then speak to you.

Initially they'll ask some basic questions and then (in all likelihood) start talking about the allegations. If you have evidence that contradicts specific allegations then it's fine to say this isnt true because of x or y and you have this evidence. If it's not so clear cut just say thays not correct my recollection. They may ask why the ex has said x or y but just give a generic answer.

You can do this without mudslinging yourself.

As you mention keep it child focused and as much as possible try not to make it about the ex. Try and highlight even one or two good points given in this case the allegations are low level.

Does she have mental health issues? I'm not sure as I don't live with her anymore etc.

How old are the kids and what are you going for in terms of time with your kids.

Also if its a call with cafcass record it. They won't know and it can be handy for subsequent reference.

Thank you, sounds like sound advice. Kids are 9, 7 and 5. We have had shared care 50/50 since we separated 3 years ago. No court orders in place as we have worked the agreement very well between us, and the 50/50 is not in dispute. All 3 children were born where we currently live.

She wants to move 250 miles with them to be closer to her family for support. I cannot afford to move as the average house is 50% more in the area she wants to move to. That's why we moved here in the first place, over 10 years ago. I also have a full time job and career here. She doesn't work, doesn't have a profession or career and there isn't a partner involved. I work some full weekends and also often a Saturday or Sunday as part of my contracted hours. At best I get 1 in 3 full weekends off so my time with the children would go from 180+ nights a year down to 50 or 60, if I'm lucky and I'd have zero involvement in their daily lives, schools, clubs, doctors etc. I'll just be a part time, weekend Dad. Obviously the usual concerns too about disruption to the children's lives, school etc.

 

[Roblox]

Oh. This is quite different then to what we see often on here.

So is the case presumably regarding whether the courts allow her to move the 250 miles?

How can she afford to move to such an affluent area

 

[Grant55]

Yes. It's a specific issue order.

She can afford to live in such an affluent area because I won't be able to afford to live there. Therefore she will have a legitimate claim for Child Maintenance, which according to the online calculator will be about £700 a month based on my very limited contact going forward.

The irony of this all is, she can only afford to take the children away from me, by taking the children away from me.

 

[Roblox]

FFS!

I'm sure you're solicitor has explained this but the court looks at the kids best interests.

I can't see how your ex doing this is in their best interests or how in any way this is justifiable given you've managed to coparent 50/50.

But you're absolutely right there can be no complacency and it can be a bit hit and miss woth Cafcass

 

[Ash]

So your ex has applied for a specific issues order to move away. What reasons has she given? She needs to have good reason to move the kids away from their other parent and school. Good reasons accepted are usually - she has been offered a job there, she's moving in with a partner, or, possibly, she wants to move closer to family. But she'd need good reasons for the latter as well.

Most of the time an ex is given permission to move the kids though - unless it can be shown it's to disrupt the relationship with the other parent.

If your existing 50/50 isn't in a court order, then she wouldn't be breaching a court order. Tricky.

You could argue that equal shared care could continue if she moved by means of one parent having the children Monday to Friday in term time and the other parent having the bulk of the school holidays. This isn't that common but it has been done before.

When talking to Cafcass I think you want to emphasise the disruption to the childrens regular home lives. But they will probably side with the Mother anyway. So then it comes down to having a good argument at a final hearing and persuading the Judge and for that, your best bet would be to use a barrister.

Relocation is a tricky area because the Mother has a right to live wherever she wants (her human rights) which conflicts with the childrens rights to have an existing schedule and relationship with both parents.

It seems quite a coincidence that she has made allegations at a time she is proposing to move such a distance away. And that would be an argument.

With Cafcass though, don't get defensive and make allegations back - just deny them and focus on the impact on the kids.

 

[Grant55]

So your ex has applied for a specific issues order to move away. What reasons has she given? She needs to have good reason to move the kids away from their other parent and school. Good reasons accepted are usually - she has been offered a job there, she's moving in with a partner, or, possibly, she wants to move closer to family. But she'd need good reasons for the latter as well.

Most of the time an ex is given permission to move the kids though - unless it can be shown it's to disrupt the relationship with the other parent.

If your existing 50/50 isn't in a court order, then she wouldn't be breaching a court order. Tricky.

You could argue that equal shared care could continue if she moved by means of one parent having the children Monday to Friday in term time and the other parent having the bulk of the school holidays. This isn't that common but it has been done before.

When talking to Cafcass I think you want to emphasise the disruption to the childrens regular home lives. But they will probably side with the Mother anyway. So then it comes down to having a good argument at a final hearing and persuading the Judge and for that, your best bet would be to use a barrister.

Relocation is a tricky area because the Mother has a right to live wherever she wants (her human rights) which conflicts with the childrens rights to have an existing schedule and relationship with both parents.

It seems quite a coincidence that she has made allegations at a time she is proposing to move such a distance away. And that would be an argument.

With Cafcass though, don't get defensive and make allegations back - just deny them and focus on the impact on the kids.

The reason stated is so that she can have support from her family, neither of us have any family close by.

You're quite right, from what I've read, the mother being closer to her family seems to win the game of family top trumps, with CAFCASS. What an absolute disgrace they really are. If I was a disinterested father, who constantly let the children down I could understand it. Our arrangement couldn't be any more 50/50. The only thing that goes between houses are a few personal possessions, such as teddies.

I've applied for and was granted a PSO at the first DRA to stop her moving until the case has been concluded.

I'm grateful that I seem to have managed to find an excellent solicitor and I have a barrister lined up for the next DRA and the final hearing.

The allegations are of course as a direct result of me challenging her. One of them is beyond ridiculous and I am happy to share this once the case is finished. It's just too specific to put on here and I don't want to risk identifying myself to her, just in case she is on here also.

One of the allegations I'm happy to share is controlling behaviour towards her and the children. My solicitor said this is pretty standard mud slinging and the burden will be on her to prove it rather than me to disprove it. That can be dealt with in the final hearing, but of course, that doesn't help with the S7.

Contact could only be every other weekend and bits of school holidays due to the job I do which is contracted for every other weekend.

I've got no allegations to make back to be fair and certainly won't be inventing any. My main line will be to bang on and on about the disruption to their lives and the virtual destruction of their relationship with me. My involvement will be reduced to a part time father, once every other weekend, which will involve the children enduring a 500 mile return car journey. What sort of quality time will that leave? Also, no involvement in any other area of their lives, education for instance. More than anything, they need both parents in their lives, on a daily basis.

I realise I'm up against it and I am beginning to see how unfair the whole system is and how bias it toward the mother.

 

[Roblox]

I realise you mention upthread about cost but should the worst happen is there anyway you can relocate?

 

[Grant55]

I realise you mention upthread about cost but should the worst happen is there anyway you can relocate?

I wouldn't have any choice. I'll follow the children to the ends of the earth. With house prices being +50% on average you can imagine what I'll end up living in though. Not exactly in a palace now, but a nice enough house and more importantly in a nice area.

 

[Liverpool07]

Do the courts not look at the living conditions etc of the new area and factor in house prices and the fact that the area won't be as nice?

 

[Grant55]

Apparently they do. My solicitor has asked for this information from me for the final hearing. I think my main issue is I'm getting obsessed with the S7 report. As I said in my original post, my solicitor has said the courts will generally go with the S7 recommendations, but not always. I feel if the S7 goes in my favour then the battle is more than half won. If it goes against me then it's going to be a much bigger fight to convince the judge to stop her.

I guess it is what it is. I'll stay child focused, constructively bat away and of the allegations they put forward and see what they come up with, fully expecting them to back the mother.