Late to this thread but just wanted to express my sympathy for what some of you have gone through.
I had to go through the whole s7 fiasco. I was fortunate in that my cafcass officer was open minded and my ex acted that badly / lied so clearly that the cafcass officer could see through it all quite easily.
No real condemnation though. Just a well she's now agreed to access let's move forward. Which obviously is a good thing but when you have serious allegations that could ruin someone's reputation or stop them being part of their kids lives it seems quite staggering that it's not addressed.
I realise there's a flip side and there are cases where men act badly and serious action needs to be taken but the whole thing just seems to be a system to be played. With such a lack of balance. Although I can see there have been some improvements and my barrister said to me that when he started out (admittedly this was perhaps 25 years ago or so) you at that time were pretty much just reliant on the Mother being reasonable.
Is there anything that can be done in terms of lobbying etc. I wouldn't have any idea where to begin. It seems to me that it's only when you go through this you realise how rigged the system is and how skewed it is.
My view is that Cafcass needs to be replaced before anything can improve in the court system. They are massively powerful and sometimes overstep the mark (I once read a comment by a barrister where a Cafcass officer had written they would order something and the barrister’s comment was - Erm isn’t it Judges that make orders, not Cafcass?)
Cafcass are social workers and like other social workers are trained to a feminist model (info from Karen Woodall). Mother knows best - the bond with the Mother is everything - blindsighted to the idea you can have good Dads and bad Mums. They seem to believe any Mum is better than no Mum - seriously. And if a Dad applies for residency Cafcass will have it in for you! Blatantly biased.
There are some good Cafcass officers, as you mentioned, who can see what’s what. But most are man haters in my view! And genuinely believe that men are the dangerous sex. To be fair they have to ensure kids are safe snd if a Mum makes allegations of abuse, they have to investigate.
But they are indoctrinated (ie trained) to a feminist model. And unless that changes, Cafcass are not good for kids.
95% of the time a Judge will follow Cafcass recommendations (hence their immense power). Unless you have a good barrister who can take Cafcass on at a final hearing (or do that yourself by cross examining them).
Mother’s know this - there are Facebook groups etc. So they can get away with ignoring orders and doing what they want. It takes a lot for a Mother to have residency removed. It is extremely rare for any Mother to be sent to jail. What’s the worst that can happen? More telling off - losing sole residency (if a shared care order is made).
Thankfully some Mothers do follow court orders once they’re made - but there are also those who then use the kids as weapons do the order doesn’t work anyway. Alienation is most common between the ages of 8 and 14 apparently (Karen Woodall again). During puberty when their ego is most easily manipulated. Sick.
As my son grows older I think I can see that these Mums are thinking way ahead. Not just now, when the kids are kids - but for the rest of their lives - so they keep control and Mum’s family is the only family - at weddings, Christmas festivities, graduations, or to be involved with grandchildren. They know that once the kids get to 16 court orders don’t matter.
So our job is to keep them coming - keep up the relationships - and help them learn to have some critical thinking skills by the age of 16.
Not only are Cafcass trained to a feminist model but some of them are raging feminists! Always thought that was an irony as isn’t feminism supposed to be about equality?!!! Not any more - it’s about asserting superiority.
I think Cafcass should be replaced with trained psychologists - who can weed out liars and alienators at the outset - before or at first hearing. This would cost a lot - but also save a lot as well - reduced numbers of second hearings or protracted cases.
So if I was to lobby about anything it would be to change the court system by scrapping Cafcass snd replacing them with trained psychologists.
Unfortunately it is a much bigger picture than that - ingrained mindsets throughout many authorities working with children.
It’s bonkers - child abusers are both men and women, in approx equal numbers. It’s pie in the sky to believe that all Mothers are loving carers.
The current system relies on education as well - SPIPP courses. Which are no good when you have one parent who won’t be educated because they have an agenda.
So two things to lobby for in my book:
1). Scrap Cafcass
2). Automatic 50.50 shared care legally at the time of separation. Attempts to achieve that have failed due to the powerful land massively funded women’s rights groups.
Extremist some of them. So it’s political and our kids are political footballs. Yes it’s shocking that you are assumed to be a “lesser”, possibly dodgy, parent because you’re not a woman.
A lot is ingrained in our culture as a nation. Most ordinary people on the street, who know nothing about divorce, also assume children should stay with their Mothers.
What makes me angry is - our innocent little kids love both their parents (except in cases of real abuse possibly). The xxxxing adults in charge should be protecting those relationships and protecting the kids - not the Mothers (who are adults).
