My ex partner is due to have our child in April but is telling me she will not be putting my name on the birth certificate and that I have to stay away from her or the baby because she doesn't want people knowing I'm the father ,she's also subject to have a child protection plan put in place due to things that happened with her previous children,social had a meeting the other day and have said I'm a risk because of past issues where do I stand with this and what should I do to gain access to my daughter once she's born ? And information would really help me
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- Thread starter pugz1712
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You need to make a “Declaration of parentage” application. I have attached something which hopefully will help a little bit and he’ll put your mind at ease a little, that there is a process you can take to get a reissue of birth certificate or an addition to the certificate of proven in court etc etc. so it will cost money and of course she will contest it but you do have rights and the option to flex them of you wish to do so. I would ring your local law centre or see when they are open and walk in. Over the phone I have been told is far better as they work on a voluntary basis and hard to catch anybody around
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We aren't married we were engaged but not in a relationship anymore she told me social services see me as a risk but won't say why and is telling me I can't see my child once she's born for 2 years but I don't agree with this ,she lost previous children in a past relationship and is trying to stop me having a relationship with mind or even acknowledging the new baby I'd mine in case I cause social services to take our child but there is no solid evidence as to why I can't be at the birth nor have contact with her, she has told me I have to pretend she's not mine and keep it hidden so she doesn't lose her friendship with her ex,would I be a bad person if I fought to keep my daughter in my life once she arrives or at least be named as her father as it doesn't seem fair as her father that her mother has the power to stop me having any kind of contact ?
Fight for your daughter.
Absolutely not! If she’s your child then she deserves to be in your life and for you to be around to help nurture and support in anyway you possibly can to try and maintain an healthy balance for them.
I will be honest it sounds a bit fishy with how you ex is behaving! Why would her ex finding out you are the father end their friendship? Sounds like she is wanting it all her own way. Is the child 100% yours? Do you think a DNA test would make sense moving forward. It just seems a bit odd why she’s wanting the child’s father to remain a secret. Is she in a new relationship now?
I would 100% fight until the very end for my child and do all I could within my power to make sure my child doesn’t become another statistic growing up without a father being around. You need to fight to be around from the start though!
When she mentions social services… could you not contact them as to ask why that’s if it’s even true?
I will be honest it sounds a bit fishy with how you ex is behaving! Why would her ex finding out you are the father end their friendship? Sounds like she is wanting it all her own way. Is the child 100% yours? Do you think a DNA test would make sense moving forward. It just seems a bit odd why she’s wanting the child’s father to remain a secret. Is she in a new relationship now?
I would 100% fight until the very end for my child and do all I could within my power to make sure my child doesn’t become another statistic growing up without a father being around. You need to fight to be around from the start though!
When she mentions social services… could you not contact them as to ask why that’s if it’s even true?
100%
She is still close friends with the father to her other children and doesn't want him to find out I'm the father ,and she has openly admitted she wants to do it her way 100percent, she says and I quote "if social get involved and she has to lose her parental responsibility she will attempt to get an special guardianship order and have our daughter placed with her previous children who live with their nan ,this child is 100percent mine yes ,if social deem her unfit would that be a good time to request a paternity test and what would be the steps to gain my child to live with me I'm 25 this is my first child and I refuse to lose her
I still live with her so I font want to contact social in case she kicks me out and fully cuts me off ,it's like she has control and she knows it as if I fight to keep the baby in my life she will terminate any contact I would get if I don't go forward ,but at the same time I should have equal rights to her due to it being my child
Yes sounds like a tricky setup of still living with her. Do you not have any other options like move back with parents? The thing is she can’t just stop you from seeing your child. She can definitely try but she can’t just stop you. In my opinion I would try and get a DNA test without her knowing when child comes along so you have proof moving forward. Then you can speed up the parentage process with already having proof the little one is yours. Sounds like you need to break away from your ex for the good of you and your child’s relationship. Sounds like she is dictating! If you ring the social services and explain they surely they have to follow protocol and keep it case sensitive. If you are unknown to police and social services then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Is there anything you have done that she could be talking about or holding against you?
I dont have a relationship with any of my family it's just me , I don't think I can get a deal test without them alerting her ,and I have been known to the police in the past but have had no problems for over 3 years now I don't smoke drink or do anything illegal ,is there a way I can contact social services without them alerting her I have done so ?
Sounds to me like your ex has got a protection order against her and she’s scared of losing your child to you. So she doesn’t want a name on the certificate just in case. You really do need to find out why her kids with ex was taken away. If she has for a protection order against her and it’s not a nice reason which there never is! Then it’s even more reason to get your name on that birth certificate. Upsetting the ex seems to me like a bit of a smokescreen for the situation. I feel for you, sounds like a right headache! If you have previous record for bad behaviour but not basing children then that’s what’s the important bit and in meantime don’t do anything else and think about that child. The reason social services are already involved and child not born is because she will be on the radar so it’s not about you believe me it’s about her so get on that phone and ring social services to find out and explain your situation. It might open your eyes and give you answers and know how to take next step. Or go to citizens advice or more ideal go to your local law centre for free advice if you don’t have the money. You could even ring a solicitor and make use of the free 30 min consultation to get some sounds advice. Sounds to me matey like your ex isn’t being quite honest with her reasons. Hope you really do get to the bottom of it before child is born. Get that ball rolling and think about that child and what environment you want them to grow up in. Hopefully an healthy one between you and your ex but get digging and get your investigators hat on
She has been told there will be a child protection plan out in place for baby ,she lost previous children due to bruises being found on the children so I think I may have to contact citizens advice to get further help as I'd rather baby was with me where I know she's safe ,I've only been arrested for fighting in the street and that was almost 5 years ago hopefully that won't affect my case
She is saying Social is saying your a risk to a the child? Is this because you live with her or she told them you are the father.. I think she is lying tbh, Chances are after her previous kids been taken due to bruises this baby maybe too sadly. I would definitely seek legal advice if I was you as every baby deserves a chance to be with a parent who loves them and wont hurt them. Best of luck
Absolutely sounds to me like you need to find somewhere else to live and start the ball rolling. It doesn’t sound right at all and like mentioned above every child deserves to be with a parent
Who loves them
really hope you start the ball rolling and move out because of you live with your ex the child could be potentially taken away from you as well due to being at same address. You need out matey and you need to get that ball rolling asap
really hope you start the ball rolling and move out because of you live with your ex the child could be potentially taken away from you as well due to being at same address. You need out matey and you need to get that ball rolling asap
Me personally I would be doing all I could to move out and focus on what’s best for the child. She’s an ex partner who is trying to not put your name on the birth certificate. Her respect is pretty low in my eyes. If you have no choice but to live there then fair enough you can’t be homeless and you are going to need a stable setup for when the child comes along, if indeed you are going to fight for them. It’s a tough one! I can see the predicament you are in so the sooner you do things the better. An ex who isn’t wanting your name on the birth certificate which ultimately takes away your parental rights wouldn’t get time a day from me