Help needed, I think it's about to get tricky.

[StayStrong]

I am going to contact a lawyer next. SS could you PM me your referral?

Done, take care, SS.

 

[Resolute]

Hi All,
Thanks again to everyone for their time, input, care...
I need to wrap this up fairly soon. My father is not in the best of health and who knows whether he would survive the 2 yrs + if me and the ex went to court.
This is what I intend to send to her. (I think it's a fair offer. I've left a little negotiating room on the assets split if needed - I could go 66/33. The CM is without dispute. I need not to go to court!)

It is probably fake names, but if not, it might be best to anonymise.

Edit - I've removed it at Good Egg's request.

 

[Ash]

I think I would reword it so you don't give her too much power. Although you're sounding reasonable in it, I would make it a bit more formal and brief as a proposal with reasons. If your ex is anything like mine she would argue back irrationally. So the more sound reasoning and briefness you have, the less there is to argue back over. What I mean is - the more there is in there, the more she will argue. I'll have a look later and see if I could suggest a briefer version. Sometimes on a first draft of these things, we are thinking out loud, our reasonings, and forgetting who we are dealing with.

 

[Goodegg999]

Hello All,
It looks like we are nearing MIAM and then court.
Quick question.
Has anyone got any suggestions for reducing lawyers fees? Is there any time when one can LIP for example without compromising the situation.

My first lawyer set us off down the wrong trail. He declared that as a French resident I could not petition for divorce in UK. This has turned out to be rubbish.
Have a good day everyone

 

[Kyle]

Hello All,
It looks like we are nearing MIAM and then court.
Quick question.
Has anyone got any suggestions for reducing lawyers fees? Is there any time when one can LIP for example without compromising the situation.

My first lawyer set us off down the wrong trail. He declared that as a French resident I could not petition for divorce in UK. This has turned out to be rubbish.
Have a good day everyone

I can only comment based on my own experience and what I would do differently would be not to bother with representation until the Final Hearing but I paid for a Direct Access Barrister for each of my remote 1 hour 'Resolution' hearings that achieved very little other than a £900 fee each time.

My Final Hearing was where we got down to business and having a Barrister there to represent me paid dividends.

Solicitors will charge you by the hour and for every piece of admin they do amounting to a significant sum. A Direct Access Barrister charges a fixed fee.

I paid £900 for 3x1 hour remote hearings and £4600 for representation over the course of a 2 day Final Hearing that was done and dusted in the first morning thanks to some very clever representation.

 

[Ash]

I'd also not use a solicitor, but use a direct access barrister for hearings. Whether you use them for just the final hearing or for an FHDRA as well might depend on the complexity of your case. It's really only at hearings you need representation and barristers are experts in that and better than solicitors at hearings. They are not cheap but they usually charge a fixed fee and that fixed fee can work out cheaper than solicitors running up bills for months doing not very much other than sending letters back and forth when the only results are those achieved at a court hearing.

Some people use a tailored approach (a good phrase from Proud Dad on here). eg do the application yourself. Possibly use a barrister for FHDRA depending on the result of the Cafcass letter and whether or not your ex has legal aid and is using a legal team. Do any communications between hearings yourself, possibly hire a solicitor for a one off job to help construct a final statement and the bundle. Then use a direct access barrister again for the final hearing.

 

[Goodegg999]

Well.. It's been nearly 6 months and things have moved on. Anyway, I hope everyone had a good Christmas.
Since the excellent advice I received on this site I proceeded to instruct a solicitor. He produced a 3 page financial statement. It echoed exactly the opinions given on this site. In short:

• I should be looking for 50/50 split of assets (although she is primary carer her earning ability is nearly twice mine (50k vs 28k) so, + including other factors, her mortgage/housing options are far superior to mine)
• Her demand for 1000 a month CM is 'simply nonsense' and I should only be paying what the CMS calculator recommends.

We are about to go into mediation. Some 20 weeks ago I petitioned for divorce. It is now time for me to apply for the Conditional Order (23rd Dec) My wife is asking me not to do this so we can have more time to mediate - She thinks we only have 43 days from the Conditional Order to settle, then the final order must be applied for. I'm not sure this is right. As far as I am aware the minimum time you can apply for the Final Order is 43 days after the Conditional Order is granted. You dont have to apply for the Final Order on 43 days - it can be 3 months after the Conditional Order if necessary - or as long as it takes to reach an agreement, up to a year later. Is this correct?
I have a feeling she is trying to slow the whole process down.

 

[Daddy]

You should apply for the conditional order for divorce as you will need this for any financial order to be made.

However you should not apply for the final order for divorce until the financial order is made/settled because there's legalities over pension sharing. I believe that they can't share pensions if you are divorced.

Slowing down the process.
This can be done with mediation because ultimately the other party can pull the rug from under you after weeks and months of negotiations. If it doesn't look like you aren't going to get a swift settlement or the two parties are quite far apart in what they want, go to court.

If you apply to court it starts the clock ticking. It took me 12months from application to FDR (second hearing out of possible three, the third being the final hearing). You can still try to agree in the meantime.

Usual advice is to get child arrangements formalised as some parents use child arrangements to achieve a higher settlement and maintenance.

 

[Ash]

What is the situation with child arrangements? You need an order to formalise those.