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Has anybody had their ex ignore a court application ?

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Merlin836

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I'm in work at the moment so I can only provide brief details .
In a nutshell my ex who has been witholding my daughter since May has stopped contact via correspondence (I've not messaged since mid June ) .
She ignored the Early help children's service , it took them 3 weeks to see her after she ignored their calls , emails etc as did her family .
The mediation she just ignored completely .
I think she thinks she can just carry on if she just ignores everyone but I wonder what happens if I apply for court ,C100, and they try to get in touch but she just ignores it as I suspect she will .
Has anybody had this happen to them as I can't find much info on what would happen next .
I know I'm thinking far ahead but I really do think she's going to do this in the hope people will stop trying to get in touch and go away .
 
Try not to worry. If she ignores Cafcass calls they'll just write the report without her input. Which could be good as then she can't make allegations. If she doesn't show up at a hearing, it will be adjourned but she will be ordered to attend the next hearing. If she fails to show up three times the court might make an order without her being there. If she ignores the order, and an enforcement hearing then they might change residency.

However, it's one thing to ignore social services, but most people don't ignore court papers.
 
My understanding, from stuff I read before my hearings, it that a judgment can be made in your absence if you do not turn up. I have read threads on here about ex/stbx's using delay tactics such as vacating hearings and counter applications, withholding, unreasonable conditions on time with... Perhaps this type of stuff would be more likely than just ignoring entirely.
 
Resolute said:
My understanding, from stuff I read before my hearings, it that a judgment can be made in your absence if you do not turn up. I have read threads on here about ex/stbx's using delay tactics such as vacating hearings and counter applications, withholding, unreasonable conditions on time with... Perhaps this type of stuff would be more likely than just ignoring entirely.
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Because of her social anxiety and the way she is I do genuinely believe she will completely ignore everything .
Her mother also opens her post and her mother believes shes above everybody so it wouldn't surprise me if she just threw it in the bin too .
Time will tell .
Hopefully it won't cause a huge delay if it happens
 
There's another Dad on her whose ex claimed she couldn't attend due to anxiety so they had her on video call during the hearing :)
 
Ash said:
Try not to worry. If she ignores Cafcass calls they'll just write the report without her input. Which could be good as then she can't make allegations. If she doesn't show up at a hearing, it will be adjourned but she will be ordered to attend the next hearing. If she fails to show up three times the court might make an order without her being there. If she ignores the order, and an enforcement hearing then they might change residency.

However, it's one thing to ignore social services, but most people don't ignore court papers.
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My ex ignored 3 calls from Cafcass. In the end Cafcass sent her a form to fill out! I wonder if Dads would get the same option 😡
 
Not usually. I'm not sure about these days but I know when I was first going through court, they would routinely write the report without speaking to Dad, if he missed the call.
 
When I found out about the domestic abuse allegations I was shocked and heartbroken that my ex would stoop that low .
I suspect her mother kept banging on about it when they were interviewed by the children's services and I suspect they were asked if they d reported it to the police and probably said yes just to cover themselves , it's impossible to have proof of something I've never done so it's hopefully sunk in and my ex family have realized how vile they .
I hope this goes in my favour then if shes going to completely ignore the courts and cafcass and they hopefully realise what worthless cruel people she and her family are .
 
And yet they are your child’s grandparents and relatives so somehow you have to coparent and have a peaceful existence at a distance, once you have a court order. The allegations are purely a tactic.
 
The children's services are trying to set up a mediation and the lady said the family informed her they'd got in touch with the police about me being domestically abusive but she said either it's not been reported or the police had no concerns because they've not been in touch with me and there's no police report to suggest otherwise .
She told me not to worry about it and she sees it a lot in her line of work .
I'm still extremely worried and anxious though because my ex family are all ganging up and saying it and I keep reading about judges basing outcomes on probability .
If they all say I've been abusive surely a judge couldn't decide that it could possibly be true .
I feel incredibly ill with it all and Ive barely slept and maybe I'm way overthinking things .
I just feel like my ex and her family believe they are the law and will do what they want , even ignoring a court request as they've refused access to a children's services for three weeks and nothing changed .
They're painting me out to be this nasty abusive partner yet they have to lie about it proving they are the vile ones looking after my daughter .
I despise them .
 
You are right to despise them. It is despicable behaviour. The judge does make decision on a balance of probability but the burden of proof is on your ex. It is her making the claim so she needs to evidence that it is true. She may try the "lived experience" card, basically that the victim should be believed. But, this can be beaten by going over what she says and compromising her credibility in cross examination. If she is lying it will be difficult for her to remain consistent. It is very tough, but backing from her family without evidence does not mean you lose. Not by any means.
 
Resolute said:
You are right to despise them. It is despicable behaviour. The judge does make decision on a balance of probability but the burden of proof is on your ex. It is her making the claim so she needs to evidence that it is true. She may try the "lived experience" card, basically that the victim should be believed. But, this can be beaten by going over what she says and compromising her credibility in cross examination. If she is lying it will be difficult for her to remain consistent. It is very tough, but backing from her family without evidence does not mean you lose. Not by any means.
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I know it's going to be hard and everyday I don't see my daughter is killing me . It's very hard not to look at the negatives so this makes me feel better . I know I look too far into the future but I can already see my ex breaching court orders left right and centre with barely a slap on the wrist .
She will know how it works to some degree because her horrible vile sister is one of those who will research absolutely everything to do with it and guide my ex on what to do .
I was starting to cope with it a bit better last week or so but my heads gone again and I keep breaking down , it just hits me so if I'm out or in work I'll try to find somewhere quick and just let it out .
I know I've got to stay strong for my little girl but it's so hard I can't think of anything else but seeing my daughter again
 
Resolute said:
You are right to despise them. It is despicable behaviour. The judge does make decision on a balance of probability but the burden of proof is on your ex. It is her making the claim so she needs to evidence that it is true. She may try the "lived experience" card, basically that the victim should be believed. But, this can be beaten by going over what she says and compromising her credibility in cross examination. If she is lying it will be difficult for her to remain consistent. It is very tough, but backing from her family without evidence does not mean you lose. Not by any means.
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That's only if it goes to a fact find hearing. They might not take much notice of her allegations in the court proceedings. Sometimes they are dismissed, particularly if you have no criminal record and social services don't have any issues.
 
The one thing that will probably guarantee it goes to a fact find though, is if you make allegations too, so you need to be careful what you say there. If allegations are on one side they can be dealt with without a fact find or dismissed. If both parties make allegations it is very likely to go to a fact find which adds delay and possible negative outcomes. Which is why we usually say - don't accuse the ex of anything. You can express the odd concern if it's valid, but carefully.
 
I have court this week and the ex or her solicitor (if she has one) has responded to anything that my solicitor has sent to her. I’ve absolutely no idea what she is doing or what will happen in the family court
 
Cantonasboots said:
I know it's going to be hard and everyday I don't see my daughter is killing me . It's very hard not to look at the negatives so this makes me feel better . I know I look too far into the future but I can already see my ex breaching court orders left right and centre with barely a slap on the wrist .
She will know how it works to some degree because her horrible vile sister is one of those who will research absolutely everything to do with it and guide my ex on what to do .
I was starting to cope with it a bit better last week or so but my heads gone again and I keep breaking down , it just hits me so if I'm out or in work I'll try to find somewhere quick and just let it out .
I know I've got to stay strong for my little girl but it's so hard I can't think of anything else but seeing my daughter again
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I can confirm what Ash said about the court not even mentioning it.

My ex accused me of domestic abuse to get a solicitor but it was never mentioned in any of my hearings clearly due to the fact it wasn’t true and she had zero evidence of it because of that fact.

Don’t feel defeated because of the accusations these are common place and despicably used to drag things out and cause even more pain but you haven’t lost not even close. Keep your head high and keep fighting it’s a long road but one we can get down and our kids will know that we’ve fought for them there not stupid and the truth always comes out in the end.
 
scooter said:
I have court this week and the ex or her solicitor (if she has one) has responded to anything that my solicitor has sent to her. I’ve absolutely no idea what she is doing or what will happen in the family court
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Hi Scooter - could you update us on that on a new thread so it doesn't get mixed up with Cantona's thread. There may be the odd thing you need to do to avoid dirty tricks.
 
Hi all. I hope you don't mind me jumping on this post to ask a few questions. Bit of background information, I'm not actually a Dad but I am closely related to someone who is going through a similar situation to Cantonasboots and was wondering if you have had your final hearing yet and what the outcome was. I am actually a Mum, I have been separated from my ex for 20 years and never once have I stopped him seeing his children or found us having to go down this route. I don't want to sound patronising but I really feel for you Dad's that are suffering at the hands of toxic exes and the court system. My friend has had to jump through hoops to prove his ex wrong about everything, she accused him of being an alcoholic so he did an alcohol test (negative), she accused him of DV (no evidence). She has subjected him to DV, photographic evidence is there but nothing was reported to the police so I'm not sure this would withstand in court. Police records were requested but she is stalling on these. Initial CAFCASS report was biased in Mum's favour, CAFCASS are now requesting an addendum. Supervised contact has been granted but it's so expensive. We are at our wits end and just want this to be over. Any positive stories that started the same as the above, or tips on how to get through this will be greatly appreciated. Thanks
 
Hi CX2023

I have some similar experiences, but I am not sure about hijacking Cantona's thread with them. Maybe it would be an idea to post a new thread.
 
Resolute said:
Hi CX2023

I have some similar experiences, but I am not sure about hijacking Cantona's thread with them. Maybe it would be an idea to post a new thread.
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Thank you Resolute. Sorry, it wasn't my intention to hijack a thread, the situation just sounded so similar to ours so I was hoping to get an understanding from someone who is going through the same. I will look to start a new thread :)
 
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