Hacked devices?

[Femto]

Separated 3 years, divorced over a year, yet the ex seems to be becoming crazier by the day....
I'm concerned that she's showing some very dubious stalker-ish behaviour and may have hacked my phone or other devices. She managed to access my emails early in proceedings (2+ years ago) and presented an email chain between me and my solicitor in court as evidence - which didn't go down very well the judge!

Whilst it's entirely possible I'm just being paranoid, there have been quite a few occasions lately where the ex has known about something and I just can't work out how she knows (if you get what I mean)! It's often subtle things like I've emailed my solicitor a question, then a day or two later I'd get a message from the ex about exactly that subject, or the kids have asked 'how was your weekend in xxx' when I've not told them that I was going to that place.

I've got a technical background and would like to think that I'm reasonably up to date with cyber security (have to be for work), so I've been through all of the usual steps in terms of changing passwords and enabling 2FA etc. But the one that concerns me is my phone - what if she has managed to get something malicious onto it that I don't know about?

So, anyone got any experience of how to check an Android phone? Can't really afford a new phone, but seriously having to consider it!

Appreciate any advice.

 

[NewcastleBrownAle]

a few things - presented hacked evidence is probably a criminal matter. It doesnt sound like your devices have been hacked, it sounds more like your solicitor has either offered that information, gave it accidentally, or there is someone in the solicitors office who is passing information. So my first action would be to change solicitors. If you change the passwords to your router and email and reset your phone to factory settings, you'll be secure.

so my first thought - sack your solicitor, your confidence has been breached and your solicitor has a duty to investigate why their information has come into the hands of your ex.

 

[skydock]

It's entirely possible your phone has spyware on it. Contrary to popular belief, both Iphones and Adroid phones can have spyware installed. There are common spyware apps that can be detected via automatic and manual processes...but they take time and, in some cases you have to explicitly know the name you're looking for. In my opinion, the quickest way to peace-of-mind is to factory reset your phone, then re-install everything (as the previous poster said, you should also change your passwords to something never used before). My STBXW monitored my emails via a laptop I had in the family home (when I learned of this I used it to my advantage, logging dates and times, and location of the device -- dates and times when I wasn't in that location). That aside, don't assume you're being paranoid. Assume the worst and mitigate where you can. Personally, I'd keep your solicitor if you think they're doing a good job and see how things go after factory re-setting. Might also be worth checking if you've remained logged-in on any devices not currently in your possession (that might be with your ex).

 

[Ash]

It does sound like spyware if she knows everything. Either that or she has access to your email. I had something similar and it does start to make you get paranoid.

I had some horrific emails from my ex I was going to use for evidence. Only to find they had disappeared. I was worried I had been hacked but later thought it is that some email allows you to withdraw an email after sending. After that I printed them out as soon as they arrived. And changed my password - but I was still paranoid.

There was a time also when she had clearly instructed my son to snoop on my computer! I caught him trying to poor lad - he couldn't even work out how to switch it on and was very stressed about the whole thing. I'm sure he knew it was wrong but he was under a lot of pressure to do what she said - I think he was scared of being punished if he didn't.

So that is another possibility - could your kids have access to your devices possibly when with you? You can't even tell them off as they've probably been threatened with all sorts if they don't do it - or manipulated into it. So whatever happens - never get angry.

Simple solution would be set up a new email address and password - although that would be a hassle, and wouldn't make any difference if there was spyware on your phone.

It's not that easy to get spyware on someone's phone (and also illegal but hard to prove. Is it Apple or Android?

I went belt and braces - I only emailed from computer and installed Zemana Antilogger - which spots and removes spyware apps as well as scrambling key strokes. I think they've gone bust though and that isn't available any more (the website took my money last time and no product arrived!). It was very good when it was working and gave me peace of mind. But bear in mind they only work on internet typing - key scramblers don't work if you're typing in word.

Phone could be easier to spy on frankly than computer I think. Have you checked your installed apps - some are hidden if it's spyware. I would think a full reset would clear anything, but if you then reinstall from a backup it could put it back on again.

Don't rush into anything.

So what I would do is

a) Install a key scrambler
b) Change your email password
c) Set up a new email address you only use for certain communications
d) Change your phone and computer login passwords. Write them down on paper in a safe place, but not in the notes app on your phone or in your email! If someone can remotely access your phone they can read the notes too.
e) Set some kind of trap. Start an email conversation about something really really bizarre with someone. About how are planning to retrain as a Doctor or something. Have a friend who is in on it as the email recipient and you can email back and forth and put all kinds of details about where you're planning to train and what your speciality will be etc. That might not be the right topic but you get the drift.

If you then get comments about you training to be a Doctor, you know you're hacked!

I don't know about Android but I did once read an article about how incredibly easy it was for someone to be hacked on an iphone = IF their apple id email address was the same as their usual email address. Since then I have always had a separate email address and password for my apple id - I just set one up specially for that. Can't remember all the details, but all you need is to click on one link in an email that looks normal, or even from a friend! And they're in.

I think proton email has end to end encryption - so no need for a key scrambler with that. If the emails are encrypted and she STILL knows things then she can see or access your emails somehow, remotely or via spyware.

 

[Nujra Rof]

This is one of my biggest fears that she is accessing my stuff, my dad informed me that when she came round for a chat once after we filed for divorce she brought something up and they asked her how she knew and she said she saw it on my phone (so parents have been telling me ever since to change my password, which I did) - they will do it given the opportunity. Genuinely I wouldn't, had an opportunity where the little one left her phone on the coffee table and I could have started going through it as she was in the garden doing a few bits and I didn't, just walked away...

 

[Ash]

Yes there are all kinds of stories during divorce. A solicitor once told me never to hide documents! Saying in one case an ex had gone into a house, photographed all the documents and left again and had a heads up of what was happening. Another case where the documents just disappeared! Most things are online now so our digital security is highly important. I think email apps on phones are a risk. No need for a password, just tap on the app and they can read your emails. Ok maybe they don't have the phone unlock code but a phone doesn't lock immediately so could be unlocked for a while, while lying around. Main thing is change your email password and don't save it on any password saving programme on a computer the ex could have access to. But write it down and hide the piece of paper! If they know your email password they can log in to it from any device.

 

[JayMC]

I would set up a brand new email address that you use for sensitive communications with solicitors etc.

You could factory reset your phone, start from scratch but there is software out there that can remain even after this is done.

So I would encourage you to not link the new email address to your phone until your content your in the clear.

It is more likely though, that she has found out via more normal means mutual friends or solicitor has made a slip

 

[MountainGoat]

I work in IT so here are my thoughts on this....

If she has managed to get spyware on your devices then anything you have done on those devices can be counted as compromised.

I would get a brand new device.

Then, change all your passwords and other things which may have been compromised.

Think of any snakes that maybe in your friends lists that may be passing on information to her. Theres always someone somewhere.

Do not connect to any Wifi networks or hot spots / local networks that she has also used.

 

[Peanut 21]

Think of any snakes that maybe in your friends lists that may be passing on information to her. Theres always someone somewhere.

 

[Unknown01]

I echo what the solicitor told Ash. Disclose everything. Ultimately, it is your credibility in front of a judge that will be worth its weight in gold.

For example, in my case I have a lazy ex-spouse who thinks that she should be entitled to work very part time even when the children are teenagers. By remaining credible in court I will find it easier to make the case in court that she can work more. In contrast, her refusal to help herself will hurt her credibility.

 

[Oneofmany]

Yes there are all kinds of stories during divorce. A solicitor once told me never to hide documents! Saying in one case an ex had gone into a house, photographed all the documents and left again and had a heads up of what was happening. Another case where the documents just disappeared! Most things are online now so our digital security is highly important. I think email apps on phones are a risk. No need for a password, just tap on the app and they can read your emails. Ok maybe they don't have the phone unlock code but a phone doesn't lock immediately so could be unlocked for a while, while lying around. Main thing is change your email password and don't save it on any password saving programme on a computer the ex could have access to. But write it down and hide the piece of paper! If they know your email password they can log in to it from any device.

echo this. I know with google you can go into your account and see what devices are logged on i.e phone, laptop etc and see if there are any you don't recognize.

 

[Chi22]

The only things I would add here is not to do with hacking but a suggestion to back everything up.

That includes WhatsApp. If you do get a new phone, make sure you're very familiar with the process of transferring the account to a new number and it's caught lots of people out. And if an email is key, in the past I've taken a screenshot too so that it gets sent to the cloud and backed up there. (Onedrive on Android).

 

[Peanut 21]

Slightly off from hacking but related to the paranoia aspect. Two years ago my partner got a text like "Hi mate, are you still working at xxxx?" from a strange number. When we looked into it, it was a phone number based in Morocco. We reckon it was some app used by the crazy ex to fish for info. No proof it was her but can't think who else it could be and she's called my partners old place of work before trying to get info.
Don't under-estimate what they will do and trust your gut if you have suspicions.