First CAFCASS letter has arrived with mum and now she’s stopping all access until after court

[Dadneedsaccess]

Hi guys,

I hope you are all well. I have applied for a child arrangement order as my ex wife uses acces to my daughters like a weapon. My first CAFCAS letter has arrived at my home yesterday and also with my daughter’s mother. This is the one that introduces them to me and asks me to confirm details. I have been given a date in 2 weeks for my interview. She has hit the roof and said that she is exercising her parental responsibility and stopping me seeing my daughters until after the court case due to welfare concerns. The injuries my daughters have sustained are cut knees from learning to ride their bikes without stabilisers and my youngest got a bit of a black eye running into the dining table whilst playing with her sister.

She has apparently spoken to the school (lies, I rang them today) and also children’s services (I’m awaiting a call back from the them to ask). She has been investigated before by children’s services and they plus the school have nothing but good things to say about my partner and I.

My question is, CAFCASS have advised me to fill out a C2 form and send it to the court to request an urgent hearing if I believe that she is stopping access for no good reason. I’ve looked on the internet tonight and it doesn’t appear that is the right form? If anyone could offer any advice on how to progress with this, I’d be massively grateful.

The school have agreed to let me pick up the girls early tomorrow to save a conflict at the gates, but I feel like WW3 is going to kick off once I inform her that I have them in my care

 

[Resolute]

If you do not yet have a Child Arrangement Order in place and Child Arrangement proceedings are underway following your application, C2 is probably the right form. It allows you to make an application within proceedings. You should have received the case number for your application prior to Cafcass getting involved. Your C2 application will be consolidated from the start with the C100 application you have already made.

The only other form I can think of that could apply is the C79 for enforcement. This only applies if there is already an order in place.

An urgent hearing is only likely to be scheduled if you provide good reason to believe that your ex's behaviour places the children at risk.

 

[Ash]

Whatever your ex is accusing, it will be very clear to the court that her accusations were triggered by your court application and so they will be seen as retaliation probably. It's interesting that Cafcass suggested submitting a C2 so early in proceedings, but if that's what they suggested then go for it. It's basically the same as a C100 but as Resolute says, it's the form used when there are already proceedings underway and yes you can ask for an urgent hearing for an interim order, pending FHDRA and Cafcass letter. You can state in it that, on receipt of your C100 application, Mrs Ex made spurious allegations that you had harmed the children, directly triggered by her receipt of the application. That Mrs Ex immediately witheld the children from seeing you and that the school are currently assisting you collecting from school to avoid conflict for the children, but that the children are indeed caught in the middle of this so, as advised by Cafcass, you request an urgent hearing to protect the children and make interim arrangements formal.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Hi Ash,

Thank you so much for that info, but I’ve just emailed the C2 before I had a chance to read this. I have put something along the lines of it, but just not as articulate as yourself. I missed out the bit regarding the school also. Shame I missed that. Appreciate your help!

Kind Regards

 

[Ash]

You can still write a position statement before the urgent hearing - it's a brief informal thing just stating the position and adding anything else you want to say - it can sort of speak for you, directly to the Judge, in advance of the hearing. Happy to help with one if and when you get an urgent hearing.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Ash, that would be amazing thank you. I would really like to take you up on that offer if you have time when it comes round. Fingers crossed for the urgent hearing because I have a feeling I will be contacted by the police tomorrow night, accused of kidnapping my own daughters. I just don’t understand why some people just seem to want constant drama in their lives

 

[Ash]

Do you have anything in writing that proves you have PR?

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

I was married to their mum when we had the girls. Nothing in writing though? I’m on the birth certificates but their mum has those.
Because she’s very volatile and has been diagnosed with psychosis, which she has no treatment for, I completed a C8 form to request my partners address (which I moved to a month ago) not be declared on the documents. She doesn’t know where I live (which I would be willing to share in the future if things calm down) so it’s unlikely the police will visit, but it’s very likely she will call them. I do plan to collect the girls early and let her know is text I have collected them and they are safe. It’s my night as agreed on a rota which has stood for over 2 years

 

[Ash]

You can send for copies of the birth certificates. They can be needed sometimes and are useful to have. I did that. Not much help for now but for the future. Via this gov link and then it takes you to the GRO page and you have to register there. It costs about £35 per certificate I think and takes about 3 weeks.

Order a birth, death, marriage or civil partnership certificate

Order an official birth, adoption, death, marriage or civil partnership certificate from the General Register Office (GRO) if you need a copy or want to research your family tree.

www.gov.uk

 

[Nanaforsonsjustice]

I was married to their mum when we had the girls. Nothing in writing though? I’m on the birth certificates but their mum has those.
Because she’s very volatile and has been diagnosed with psychosis, which she has no treatment for, I completed a C8 form to request my partners address (which I moved to a month ago) not be declared on the documents. She doesn’t know where I live (which I would be willing to share in the future if things calm down) so it’s unlikely the police will visit, but it’s very likely she will call them. I do plan to collect the girls early and let her know is text I have collected them and they are safe. It’s my night as agreed on a rota which has stood for over 2 years

If you are anticipating trouble it maybe worth a 101 call to the police to let them know you have collected the children with the schools help, it’s your scheduled time with the children and that you have submitted an urgent application to the court. This way if she does call the police, they are aware and it should likely come to nothing.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

If you are anticipating trouble it maybe worth a 101 call to the police to let them know you have collected the children with the schools help, it’s your scheduled time with the children and that you have submitted an urgent application to the court. This way if she does call the police, they are aware and it should likely come to nothing.

I was debating this and I think I will take your advice, thanks. It takes 26mins to get home from the school so it will be tight but it’s much better than having a visit to my house tonight. She doesn’t know my address to give them anyway so they can’t just turn up, I would imagine they would call me. There’s going to be fireworks tonight .

 

[Nanaforsonsjustice]

Another dad had a similar experience in August and he phoned 101 and the trouble was pretty much prevented. Make sure to tell 101 not to disclose your address to her. They would probably phone you if she calls them and may want to do a welfare check, but they cannot remove the children from your care as you have PR and its classed as a civil matter. They will however remove them if the children are considered at risk which obviously in your case they won't be so no worries there.

 

[Scotay]

If you are anticipating trouble it maybe worth a 101 call to the police to let them know you have collected the children with the schools help, it’s your scheduled time with the children and that you have submitted an urgent application to the court. This way if she does call the police, they are aware and it should likely come to nothing.

Yes do this.

I was in this situation many years ago, on my awarded access i removed my daughter from school 20 minutes earlier as my ex had planned to confront me in the school playground at home time to stop access.

Contacted police and SC beforehand including the school with everyone in agreement i was doing the correct thing to avoid a public confrontation and what would have been a screaming match with me ex in from of kids and parents.

True to form my ex dialed 999 to report a kidnaped child, which the police waiting told her was a lie.

 

[Resolute]

Great advice on the 101 call. I did this many times during my child arrangement proceedings. The police were willing to advise me on how to handle the situations and took record of the information I shared. I suggest you take a reference number for any calls you make. From memory they are something like CHS**/**/**1234. The operators told me to always have the reference number(s) and relevant documentation to hand: emails, orders, id...

Taking these precautionary steps stopped police from attending traps my ex tried to set for me. One officer divulged that she made numerous calls claiming harassment etc. He said the reports damaged her reputation more than mine. It feels really risky and unnatural, but it is possible to form a delicate alliance with the police on this stuff.

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

Thanks for the advice! I’m putting a text together to send to the mum when I collect the girls using some of Ash’s language from above. Am I saying too much? Showing her my angle in how I will approach court or would you say it’s about right? It’s so hard to think properly when emotions are involved

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

“You do not need to attend school as the girls are already in my care. The school are aware that Thursday’s and every other Friday are my collection nights and they have no welfare concerns. They have agreed to let me take the girls early to avoid any conflict for the girls as they are caught in the middle of this. I have also contacted the police on 101 to advise of the situation. I would kindly ask that you stop attempting to block access between me and the girls for these spurious allegations. It is not healthy for any of us, especially the girls.”

 

[Resolute]

“You do not need to attend school as the girls are already in my care. The school are aware that Thursday’s and every other Friday are my collection nights and they have no welfare concerns. They have agreed to let me take the girls early to avoid any conflict for the girls as they are caught in the middle of this. I have also contacted the police on 101 to advise of the situation. I would kindly ask that you stop attempting to block access between me and the girls for these spurious allegations. It is not healthy for any of us, especially the girls.”

First impression, seems like a bad idea.

What about composing something simpler and saving as draft to send at the moment you have the kids with you?

"Dear Ex,
This is just a note to inform you I have collected the girls from school as per our arrangement.
Yours..."

 

[Dadneedsaccess]

That’s my plan, to just copy, paste and send.

Hi …., this is just a note to inform you that I have collected the girls from school as per our arrangement. The school are aware that Thursday’s and every other Friday are my collection nights. They have agreed to let me take the girls early to avoid any conflict for the girls as they are caught in the middle of this. I have also contacted the police on 101 to advise of the situation.

 

[Scotay]

That’s my plan, to just copy, paste and send.

Hi …., this is just a note to inform you that I have collected the girls from school as per our arrangement. The school are aware that Thursday’s and every other Friday are my collection nights. They have agreed to let me take the girls early to avoid any conflict for the girls as they are caught in the middle of this. I have also contacted the police on 101 to advise of the situation.

Make sure you send this as soon as you have collected the kids and are safely on your way.

 

[Resolute]

I would avoid the extra details about police and the school