I have been beyond compassionate in my messages to try and arrange childcare split but she still is more interested in getting one over on me then what is best for our child.
He witnessed or at least heard the actual assault as was in the car when she headbutted me, he commented that it wasn't nice of mummy to behave that way.
I took him out the situation and placed him with a neighbor so that he didn't have to see the repercussions. I was the one also who rang social services and the police as was concerned about him being with his mum as she seemingly had lost her mind!; all whilst she ran up and down the street screaming blue murder whilst ringing her fancy solicitor.
I don't want to discredit her, I know it's better for him to have two parents, but the facts sadly don't l of his life I was the one who stayed at home so my wife could pursue her dream career, I've done 7 years worth of school runs, after-school clubs etc and even worked two part time jobs the hours he was asleep so I could " financially contribute " as was told this is what men do! Something that was constantly being used to belittle and make me feel like cr*p and not like I was a proper man. I was never allowed any friends, ones I did have she would scare away or be nasty too.
She controlled all the money, and I had two previous occasions of physical abuse but always justified it as must have been an accident. Can't see how hitting me with a car was but I always rationalised it.
Only since we started the divorce, now our child is old enough to understand what a happy family should look like I made the decision to end things so that he didn't grow up thinking our situation was normal! Only then did she suddenly want to become involved, not to help or to benefit our son, to make my life as hard as possible and weaponise the child. .i mean she even walked out of his first parents evening because she had a back massage booked, when she is in care of him, I've found out she has fed him spoiled milk for breakfast so gone to school hungry, refused to do washing, homework, constantly exposed him to inappropriate age related activities. Even letting him drive a vehicle / tractor age 6! She would never discipline in, left that to me and used it as a way to alienate me further. She is now bullying me with the financial settlement. I originally didn't want to go for 50/50 was happy taking just enough to set up a life for me and our child, but she is now using financial abuse and saying unless I agree to a really low settlement like 15A% she is going to stop her financial contributions to the family home ( she already has ) letting our family home default. Rendering me lost to know what to do. I've reported the financial abuse and Domestic abuse to the police and she is on bail at the moment awaiting a CPS charge for Occasioning ABH. THEN I got the letter saying I had headbutted her and I was an alcoholic etc
On the day of the assault, the police came and the first set were really biased, saying they could smell alcohol. Which was rubbish as I hadn't drunk, but I stood up for myself and questioned why when I was the one involving them due to a concern of her behaviour did they think it was more appropriate to leave him in her care so the plan changes too I was going to leave for an hour to allow her to collect some things, she would leave to go to her families house for a few days, she would pick child up from schl and then I would have him back and put him to bed in our family home/take him to school etc as I have done for the last 5;years, but nobody collected him from school and it was then I found out she had later been arrested, I was not even there at this point so no idea what actually happened in the house with the police other than she refused to leave the property and was arrested, I got a call to tell me this so cancelled all my clients at work and collected him from school that day, had to comfort the child and for ten days after she didn't even attempt not even through her representatives to enquire on the welfare of her child. When she was arrested on that day we have since found out that what has gone to the CPS for decision is charges relating to occasioning actual bodily harm.
I have worked out the parenting schedules and she is not allowed contact with me and that was extended but I've made sure the parenting plan reflected 50/50. I work weekends ( I'm a musician, which was always an embarrassment to her ) and her counter plan only ever has plans to inconvenience me. It had him moving addresses every two nights. Something he told social services was unfair that he had to travel a lot. The plan I put forward allowed us both to work out jobs and gave the child a chunk of time in each house. The last few times he has come home really distressed as mummy had told him all sorts of lies, I raised this as a concern to social services and was told I could withdraw contact and exercise my parental rights. She was warned numerous times by SS but thinks she knows best, also refused to follow drs treatment advice for him as she knew better. I've done homework diaries, journals etc to make it easier and have been calm in all my MSG's so far, even though I want to scream. .
She has A LOT OF family support and money and I have nothing. Can't afford a solicitor as the money I had saved she came back to the property one day whilst I was out and took all my cash, increased our overdraft and withdrew all the cash and let the mortgage fail. Leaving me reliant on food banks etc. unreported it Tom the police and was told it was a civil matter, hence them I reported the financial abuse on the advice of a men's DA charity. So I am BEYOND desperate, totally overwhelmed and feeling very very low.
I have been using a Mackenzie friend only and trying to figure the rest out alone.
Sorry to rant, I'm just alone and have no idea what to do. I've put in a c100 but it went to one court, she has put one in as now living in a different postal code and went to another and hers was actioned first. Now saying that I am a risk to the child, I commited DV and have a drink problem of which there is no evidence. Even social services have said that there isn't any evidence of that at all and for 7 years she wasnt concerned enough as she received the benefits of me driving him to and from school and everywhere. So if she was really concerned I had a drink problem,why allow this to continue!
Oh when she was escorted back to the house after being bailed she took all the child's piggy banks, my cash and also has taken the child's passports. He has dual nationality and so does she. I can truly see now the years of torment , coersion and control she had on me.
