Financial settlement - negotiate or go to court

[Atlantic53]

I need some advice please. I am dealing financial settlement without any solicitor. She has solicitor. Child arrangement case also in progress and children are living with mom full time. She is claiming legal aid for child arrangements but not sure in financial matters. Along with children matter, she started finincial settlement. I have only one house where i am leaving at the moment. Initially, she reported false allegations and wanted me to be arrested. However it didn't happen and she had to leave. Got NFA. Now she is living in temporary accommodation. We exchanged form e volunterly and provided all documents. I have loan from friend. All transactions are recorded and provided with form e. I have sole ownership of the property. Marriage is 10 years long. She never worked and contributed financially. She wants to sell the house and asking 70% of equity. I offered 50-50 split of equity after deducting loan. Now her solicitor is intimidating and asking different documents such as proving purpose of loan and spent or going in court. The loan was taking in different time in last 5 years for house renovation or paying bills. What should I do? What should I expect from family home division? Should I try to increase my offer or let them go in court? Thanks

 

[Pj66]

Was the loan in just your name?

I assume it was for renovating the house and increasing equity. She

She is stretching for that 70 percent , there is absolutely no reason why she should get 70 at all. Pure bully tactics, basically saying "give me 20 percent extra or il make you burn the same amount in court whilst I get legal aid"

By going down that avenue she's just shooting herself in the foot. My first thought I call her bluff,

Are you seeing the kids? Second thought is she will use kids to force you to agree.

Dont negotiate with terrorists.

Get your arrangements in with children in court processed first. Expecting a non occupation order on the house.

The good thing at the moment is you have not left the house and she has. It could have been much worse that she non molestation ordered you and got you out the house.

 

[Atlantic53]

Was the loan in just your name?

I assume it was for renovating the house and increasing equity. She

She is stretching for that 70 percent , there is absolutely no reason why she should get 70 at all. Pure bully tactics, basically saying "give me 20 percent extra or il make you burn the same amount in court whilst I get legal aid"

By going down that avenue she's just shooting herself in the foot. My first thought I call her bluff,

Are you seeing the kids? Second thought is she will use kids to force you to agree.

Dont negotiate with terrorists.

Get your arrangements in with children in court processed first. Expecting a non occupation order on the house.

The good thing at the moment is you have not left the house and she has. It could have been much worse that she non molestation ordered you and got you out the house.

Loan from friend was for house renovation and paying debts. No agreement was written but have to pay back. She's not accepting it. Although all these loan were taken at front of her . Two years no contact with children. Fighting for child arrangements at the moment. All her allegations were proven false. Still she doesn't allow to see children. Last few hearing left but court is very busy snd taking long time. She never worked and contributed financially. I am sole ownership of the family home. Yes luckily police helped me to stay at home and let her leave. They have recognised all her false allegations. She already put her name in title deed. is it same as non occupational order or how can she get non occupational order?

 

[nothernsoul]

Sorry to hear what you are going through?

So you are the sole owner by virtue of being the only person on the mortgage?

You say she is on the deeds though. Were you or are you married?

 

[nothernsoul]

I agree with above. Bully tactics from the solicitors.

You've done the right thing by remaining in your home.

Focus fully on the CAO for now. Finances can wait.

 

[Atlantic53]

I agree with above. Bully tactics from the solicitors.

You've done the right thing by remaining in your home.

Focus fully on the CAO for now. Finances can wait.

Thanks. Yes 10 years of marriage. I am sole ownership but she has placed her home owner right under mettromonial home on title deeds. She never worked or helped financially.

 

[nothernsoul]

Sounds like a 50/50 split to me then.

To be perfectly honest. If there was the CAO order on the table that had everything you wanted in it and maybe a 60 / 40 sit I'd be tempted to bite her hand off and move on with your life.

But. Do not even start to negotiate on anythig other than your children. And do not lose any sleep over solicitor's letters - yappy little dogs.

 

[Atlantic53]

Sounds like a 50/50 split to me then.

To be perfectly honest. If there was the CAO order on the table that had everything you wanted in it and maybe a 60 / 40 sit I'd be tempted to bite her hand off and move on with your life.

But. Do not even start to negotiate on anythig other than your children. And do not lose any sleep over solicitor's letters - yappy little dogs.

Thanks. Its really helpful.

 

[Jumper85]

When was the property purchased? I think this is important, if you purchased before marriage you have a stronger argument.

From my experience, I don't necessarily agree with what other members are suggesting on the financial split I'm afraid. You've got 2 major problems in my eyes;

• You said she's never worked and therefore I would assume she's been financially dependent on you
• She has sole custody of the children at the moment, therefore there will be the strong argument from your ex that the priority is that she's able to provide a suitable home for the children and therefore dependable on the equity available, she could be entitled to a greater percentage

How old are the children?

I can only talk from my experience and the advice I've received from solicitors but there is a disparity between your incomes which needs to be factor. How much you earn and whether she can/will earn needs to be considered. How much time your secure through the child arrangement order will also play a contributing factor but it sounds like you've got an uphill battle with this given they have been with there mother for 2 years and there's been no contact.

As for the loan, it sounds like it's a "soft loan" from friends/family and no agreement in place, the courts are likely to disregard this as part of financial settlement.

 

[Atlantic53]

When was the property purchased? I think this is important, if you purchased before marriage you have a stronger argument.

From my experience, I don't necessarily agree with what other members are suggesting on the financial split I'm afraid. You've got 2 major problems in my eyes;

• You said she's never worked and therefore I would assume she's been financially dependent on you
• She has sole custody of the children at the moment, therefore there will be the strong argument from your ex that the priority is that she's able to provide a suitable home for the children and therefore dependable on the equity available, she could be entitled to a greater percentage

How old are the children?

I can only talk from my experience and the advice I've received from solicitors but there is a disparity between your incomes which needs to be factor. How much you earn and whether she can/will earn needs to be considered. How much time your secure through the child arrangement order will also play a contributing factor but it sounds like you've got an uphill battle with this given they have been with there mother for 2 years and there's been no contact.

As for the loan, it sounds like it's a "soft loan" from friends/family and no agreement in place, the courts are likely to disregard this as part of financial settlement.

Thanks, these are good points. House was purchased before marriage. She never worked and just worked last few months part time before separation. She is on benefits at the moment. I am in process of CAO and at some point I need a place to accommodate children as well. In terms of loan from friend, have all transactions listed of loan recieved and payments.

 

[Jumper85]

I'd personally get some specific legal advice then based on your property being owned prior to marriage, you may therefore have a greater stake in it.

As for the loan, I'd still expect you to receive some challenge around this.

CAO - You definitely need to secure some overnights for the children to ensure your household needs match hers.

 

[Scoobydoo]

Wow. Our exes must be related in DNA … all of us. You sometimes think you are alone but realise we are all in the same boat mostly and they are cunning ! ( not a typo I promise ) mine was 8 years ago and sounds the same . Greed. Mine even had the nerve to say. No finance settlement no kids .. they didn’t end well for her

Just a thought ( and I would urge you to be honest and act with integrity at all times ) could you not have the agreement made out now .. it’s not as disingenuous as it may sound. Just it probably won’t carry weight as all party’s know from what you said but it formalises things and if you are honest and say I have this to prove it was a loan you may get so where. Possibly not but again if you are honest and say it was drawn up to prove you are not making it up … and admit the timing who knows. …..

 

[Atlantic53]

Wow. Our exes must be related in DNA … all of us. You sometimes think you are alone but realise we are all in the same boat mostly and they are cunning ! ( not a typo I promise ) mine was 8 years ago and sounds the same . Greed. Mine even had the nerve to say. No finance settlement no kids .. they didn’t end well for her

Just a thought ( and I would urge you to be honest and act with integrity at all times ) could you not have the agreement made out now .. it’s not as disingenuous as it may sound. Just it probably won’t carry weight as all party’s know from what you said but it formalises things and if you are honest and say I have this to prove it was a loan you may get so where. Possibly not but again if you are honest and say it was drawn up to prove you are not making it up … and admit the timing who knows. …..

Thanks. Its really very helpful.