Finances and child benefit

[JC83]

Hi all,

I’ve got a rather snotty email from my solicitor trying to push divorce, financials and child benefit.

Ex is filing a sole application for divorce. Exs solicitor is pushing for an exchange of form E’s asap, if not, they are threatening court action for financial proceedings.

Currently the child benefit is in my name but exs is now pushing for it to be in her name in order for her to claim 15 hours free childcare. Do I yield on this?

I worked part time to be the main carer for my child (still part time now), so it is gutting to think my child is in nursery full time, whilst ex is on a large salary and still wanting child benefit.

I live 4 hours away from ex (8 hour around trip), currently on bail as a result of her allegations, and ex is now asking me to travel to her to go to a contact centre to see my child. We used to meet part way, but now has changed her mind, probably as it was too much effort for her and she wants to try and further alienate me from my child as they were happy spending time with me. Contact centre is currently being organised. To be honest, I could do with that money to help pay contact centre costs to see my child and get them things when I see them! By also yielding on giving over the child benefit, does that mean I am admitting she is the resident parent? I lodged my c100 today to get child arrangements rolling.

Exs solicitor hasn’t even suggested mediation for finances or child arrangements. I am not allowed to contact ex due to bail conditions but I thought shuttle mediation could have been an option. I just want to contact ex and ask her to stop all the madness for the good of our child (as the solicitors bills are stacking up when they could be spent on better things) but know I’m not allowed. I don’t think it would happen even if I could speak to her!

I’d appreciate your thoughts on all of this (@Scotay). I know I need to try and delay finances as long as possible until child arrangements are sorted. I imagine my bail will be extended so I can’t imagine child arrangements will get sorted any time soon!

 

[Scotay]

My divorce was pretty much done and dusted by me doing it myself with no major issues.

If your not having the child more than 50% of the time i can see why she is wanting the CB in her name, although to be honest she doesn't need you to hand it over as all she needs to do is call them and it will be transferred.

Beware, this transfer will open the door for her to then go to CMS.

 

[Ash]

I looked up the CAB info about it, and it does say if it's not agreed who will have it, HMRC will make a decision and they usually give it to the parent who has the most time. Which an ex who is witholding time will have! On the other hand if HMRC decide to give it to her instead of you, at least it doesn't look like you've actively accepted she's the sole resident parent.

Scotay do you know anything about form E's? He's hoping to delay finances and get Child Arrangements sorted as a priority.

At the moment maybe just do nothing and not reply to the email.

Surely HMRC would contact both parents to see what's what, if there are no court orders in place. And you could say you don't accept she's the sole resident parent as there are court proceedings underway to determine who the child will live with and there is an application for shared care in.

 

[JC83]

My divorce was pretty much done and dusted by me doing it myself with no major issues.

If your not having the child more than 50% of the time i can see why she is wanting the CB in her name, although to be honest she doesn't need you to hand it over as all she needs to do is call them and it will be transferred.

Beware, this transfer will open the door for her to then go to CMS.

Thanks @Scotay. That’s the thing, ex does have my child most of the time at the moment, but not through choice!

I think she must of called them as it has not gone into my account as yet. She’s just playing the game, I imagine I will hear about CMS soon enough. Think ex is trying to force me back into full time work to make it look like I wasn’t my child’s main carer anymore.

 

[Ash]

The one thing you have at the moment, is they don't know you've submitted an application, so they're playing fast and loose. I'd just sit on it and see what happens. She may well apply to CMS. This is the unfair situation of a Dad having to find funds to get a CAO while the ex reduces your funds getting you to pay CM.

 

[Scotay]

Scotay do you know anything about form E's? He's hoping to delay finances and get Child Arrangements sorted as a priority.

Sorry no experience of this one.

 

[Scotay]

Thanks @Scotay. That’s the thing, ex does have my child most of the time at the moment, but not through choice!

I think she must of called them as it has not gone into my account as yet. She’s just playing the game, I imagine I will hear about CMS soon enough. Think ex is trying to force me back into full time work to make it look like I wasn’t my child’s main carer anymore.

What they did with me is transfer to me on calling them but contact the ex to see if what i was saying was true, true to form they automatically assume the male is a liar.

She ignored them so the transfer was done within weeks.

 

[JC83]

The one thing you have at the moment, is they don't know you've submitted an application, so they're playing fast and loose. I'd just sit on it and see what happens. She may well apply to CMS. This is the unfair situation of a Dad having to find funds to get a CAO while the ex reduces your funds getting you to pay CM.

Thanks Ash, I’ll just sit on it for a bit then