Father applying for Non-molestation order against mother?

[mikeayo1891]

Hi guys,

Like i stated in my post yesterday I succeeded in convincing a Judge to allow me make an undertaking for the ex's NMO application. Ex was clearly unhappy that case was dismissed with me signing a unilateral undertaking. As you would expect he NMO application was full of bullcrap from exaggerations to blatant lies to outright fabrications of texts to suggest that I was threatening her. My undertaking stated that I wont harass or contact her or go to her house etc. I never did any of these anyway.

But I am no concerned that there's nothing stopping ex to redouble her efforts and make new allegations and fabricate new allegations and make false reports to the police as usual. Now I am considering making my own NMO application against her. She has reported me to the police uncountable times with false allegations and I have always been discharged because there is no evidence for her allegations. But I am concerned that if undeterred she will continue this act and build a wrong picture of me to the police. It only takes one policeman or judge to believe her and I might be in serious trouble.

I am wondering if any father here has taken an NMO against the ex and how it went. Was it successful. I am seriously considering doing this and want some advise. Even if I dont succeed with the NMO i might get her to also sign an undertaking and that might deter her from these false allegations and harrassment. I can also point to the NMO in the future as evidence whenever she makes another unsubstantiated allegation. To turn the gun on the hunter themselves and rock their boat. Change the narrative from them being seen as perpetual victims to perpetrators.

Any advise will be welcome. @JC83 @lunico93x @Ash @Resolute

 

[Ash]

Personally I think it is not really a good idea. It could be seen as hostilities on both parts, taking out NMO's and affect your standing with Cafcass and the Child Arrangements process. Unless - from now on you receive a lot of harrassment, and by that I mean long emails full of hate, vandalism etc.

What you could do is contact the police and say you're concerned about false allegations being made as you're going through a family court process and you'd like your concern to be on record please.

 

[JC83]

Personally I think it is not really a good idea. It could be seen as hostilities on both parts, taking out NMO's and affect your standing with Cafcass and the Child Arrangements process. Unless - from now on you receive a lot of harrassment, and by that I mean long emails full of hate, vandalism etc.

What you could do is contact the police and say you're concerned about false allegations being made as you're going through a family court process and you'd like your concern to be on record please.

I’d be inclined to agree with Ash tbh. All the advice on here is to avoid the conflict between parents label. I’ve got an NMO on me as you know and if I didn’t I wouldn’t bother trying to get one against the ex. I’m hoping and praying eventually someone sees that the ex is the hostile one and I’m just solely focused on making sure our child is happy with both parents.

As soon as I got my NMO, I contacted the police to let them know I had no intention of breaching the order, and that I was concerned they ex would make some additional allegations to get me arrested again (I.e she’s seen me outside the house or whatever). They logged it and I’ve been given a reference number so if it happens I can quote it.

 

[mva]

You also want to avoid a fact find. if you push for a non-mol and your ex contests it with counter allegations you could end up in a tit for tat fact find. Fact finds are difficult to guarentee a win, expensive if represented and delay CAO.

 

[Ash]

Very good point. She might also decide to contest a non mol you apply for and that could drag on for a year and hold up the Child Arrangements case.

 

[JC83]

Very good point. She might also decide to contest a non mol you apply for and that could drag on for a year and hold up the Child Arrangements case.

This is what my barrister said. They said if I contest the NMO it would delay my CAO case. They also said that there was a (slim) chance my CAO case may avoid a fact find so to accept the NMO without findings or admissions. He got the term reduced though.

 

[mikeayo1891]

Thanks for all the sensible points guys. Just hard to keep quiet and accept garbage being thrown at you all the time without being able to defend yourself or fight back. But i take your points. Will inform the police of her intentions and just stay focused on the CAO.