Family home sale

[Sid0926]

I'm after some advice on dealing with a rather clever soon to be ex-wife in relation to finances please.
There is a family home which is in both our names and we have two children. I was tricked into leaving the family home to have some time apart to then come back together to discuss next steps and rebuild the relationship. Short answer was that she had been planning to divorce me anyway and I never got back into the house. I have been living in a rental property ever since.
My question is around the property which is worth £600K and has a £300K mortgage on it. Back in July she offered to but out my share of the house (50%) and so we both approached estate agents to an evaluation as to what the house would go for. With the 4 agents offering differing valuation ranges she just took the lowest price and said the house is worth £600K (according to her) so that leaves £300K split down the middle. What she cannot agree with is that a house is worth what someone is prepared to pay for it and at the time the market was high and I was told by several agents the house could go up £650-675K and confidence was high on this. She now says she wants me to transfer my 50% equity in the property to a value of £600K. Several people I've spoken to have said that I should steer clear of this and the house should go on the market to get the highest price possible. However you take estate agent fees, solicitors fees etc and the property would need to be around £675K for me to get anywhere near the £300K split down the middle.

My preference would be to put the house on the open market to get the best possible price however in the current market I could be shooting myself in the foot and get less. Also she is saying she won't put it on the market until sh has found somewhere which could take ages! (also it surely isn't just her decision given the house is in both our names) She has told me that she can't afford to stay in the house indefinitely and would need to sell maybe a year down the line. My thinking is she is hoping for the market to recover and then sell at a better price taking all the profit for herself. Also her parents are quite well off and so could easily afford to provide her with money to give me a lump sum now and support her for a further year whilst the market recovers. I just have this gut feeling that I'm being low-balled here and don't trust her. Or should I look at it as just take the money and start again without all the hassles and move on.

So the questions are:
Her offering to buy out my equity is this a good idea?
Should I hold out and put the house on the market and if she refuses what can I do to force this given that the children live in the family home?

Interested in peoples thoughts and lastly to everyone going through this horrible experience stay strong!

 

[Ash]

So she is offering you 300k to transfer your share of the house ownership to her? It sounds ok to me. You might be losing out on 30k ish - but it would resolve the matter quicker and a bird in the hand. That's just my opinion. You could try haggling. Ask for 335k as half current value - she'd say no but you might get it up to 310k possibly with haggling.

 

[Sid0926]

Sorry, the figure she is offering me is 150K there is 300K equity after the mortgage is cleared which 50/50 is 150K. I will be haggling though as she cannot afford the mortgage herself unless her parents help her out. I want 25K to cover all the things I will need to purchase to get property up to a level so as to make the children feel comfortable. Between us over the years we have bought new furniture and really spruced the house up and believe I am owed something for that.

 

[Ash]

My mistake sorry - probably didn't read that properly.

 

[StayStrong]

Between us over the years we have bought new furniture and really spruced the house up and believe I am owed something for that.

You aren't. It is mingling of Matrimonial Finances that both of you, over time, have enjoyed utility of.

Who paid for that room to be decorated, who paid for that piece of furniture, etc, doesn't any longer count.

You each have to draw up an invemtory of what you jointly own and then agree who has what.

SS.

 

[Sid0926]

Thanks will do.

 

[Sid0926]

Well things are not going well and its stressing me out to the point my mental health is suffering. My soon to be ex has refused since August 2022 to say whether she will buy out my 50% equity or put the house up for sale. Now she is saying she wants an additional 70 days (takes us up to June 1st) to make a decision as the housing market is cooling and she doesn't want to overpay my 50% (she realises it means her 50% share is reduced in value however she has other funds available). In June no-one will be buying property and after the Summer holidays the market is pretty slow and therefore she spends a further year in the property with our children. My solicitor has advised going the court route but I can't afford it and my thoughts are the courts will look at what is best for the children and thats for them to stay in the house especially with an older daughter who is starting her GCSE's! I'm really frustrated as she has dragged her heels for months on this and not sure what other options are available to me, if anyone has any ideas I'm open to them.

 

[StayStrong]

IMO, you will use some of your equity to pay for what is appropriate legal representation in sorting out what are obviously intractable financial arrangements.

It would be better to have this resolved, wouldn't? Fairly, and taking proper account of each of your housing needs for the future care and well being of your children shared between you.

Expect £15k cost and consider it an investment since while that sum may be painful to hear it is an insurance for fairness and potentially an investment based on the outcome.

SS.

 

[ESU]

Going to court will likely takes almost a year to the final hearing and this is a year of paying the rent for your flat. I wouldn't go that route unless there is really no way out. Probably better to accept a lower offer from her and get out of it. The housing market is definitely cooling. I live in London and the houses in the suburban area probably drop about 8% since last September. With the interest rate going up house prices will likely go further down. If you accept a lower offer from her, chances you can buy a property at a lower price than last year's so you won't lose too much.

 

[Ash]

Would your soon to be ex not consider mediation? Financials can be dealt with via mediation. Or even arbitration. Trouble is she has no incentive to do anything except sit there delaying - situation is fine for her as it is.

Yes the court might say the children need to stay in the former home for stability, rather than sell it. Or they might say it should be sold and both buy another property. But no reason why you shouldn't have your share of the equity out of it and her buy you out.

So basically she is saying - accept what I offer or I'll just sit here indefinitely. What is she actually offering?

 

[ESU]

If you want to go to court, you need to do mediation first anyway. So Ash has a point to suggest a mediation. She might refuse the invitation of mediation but only then you can file an application to the court. If you don't hire a solicitor it won't cost too much. The law is not very complicated. I am sure you can find a lot of help and advise here or online. You will have first hearing, second hearing and likely a final hearing. There will be months between hearings, so as I said, it just takes time, and it certainly is an agony. But if your ex refuses to do anything, there are really not too many options there.

 

[Ash]

I think he's just talking about the financials at the moment rather than a Child Arrangements application/hearings. Sid - what is the situation with child arrangements? Keep positive - it's important. Whenever things seem really ominous they often don't turn out to be that way in the end so then you regret having got low over it.

 

[Ash]

I don't think a court would force her out if the children live there. They might order it to be sold but that could take a long time and she'd want to tie up a sale and a purchase so they had somewhere to move to. And the chain might fall through and start over again. So the option of "take the money and run" or "cut your losses" sounds good to me. Providing it's a half decent offer.