In 23rd of March 2024 I was having a discussion with my brother in law. The situation escalated and he wanted to punch me but I was filming on my phone camera for my self security and this made him not to punch. Also I told my wife to talk with him because I will call the police. After a couple of minutes the situation escalated again and I grabed my phone and tried to call the police. He is doing illegal activity and I didn't want to speak for his activity in my house and infront of my kids. My wife and her brother tried to stop me by catching my hand. At this moment to make possible to call the police I bite my wife at her arm and than released my hand and called the Police for my brother in law. He walked away as I started the communication with 999. My kids( 5 and 7 years old) where also present all the time. The police told me that they will show up. After approximately 1 hour my wife did a phone call to police by accusing me for domestic violence (as a revenge for her brother). The police came in 10 minutes because she was acting like she was in danger and arrested me. I was calm and cooperative. I did stayed 1 night at the police station and than I was interviewed in the presence of a free of charge representative. I had several videos which shows who is agresive and even when she called the police I was upstairs making a video. They released me on bail not to go at the house, not to contact my wife, weekly sign in police station and if I need to meet my kids I will do only in presence of Social worker until the investigations end. I am accommodated in a hotel now waiting to be contacted by social services for any risk assessment and then see my kids. I am asylum seeker and I don't work so I can't have a legal aid family solicitor. When I called a criminal solicitor he said to me that If you are not charged it is ok. Call me if you will be charged. Can someone give me any advice because I am facing a mental breakdown. I miss my kids and I am sure they miss me more.
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False allegation domestic violence
- Thread starter Nock Nock
- Start date
Hello Nock Nock, welcome to the forum, and sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are in. fortunately for me, I have not been accused of domestic violence, (yet), but others on here who have more experience of this will offer what advice they can. In the meantime, do not try to make any contact with your wife. It may help others to advise if you give a bit more detail, such as will you now be seeking to divorce your wife, if so, you will have to sort out child custody arrangements once the domestic violence allegations have been sorted. You could try to talk with charities such as mankind and the samaritans for help with your mental health. best wishes.
Ok you could apply to the family court for a child arrangements order. However it won't progress until police charges are dropped. Have you been asked to go for a police interview? If you are, you're entitled to a free criminal solicitor to go with you for the interview. They will probably advise you to say no comment to everything. The reason for this is, if you say no comment, then they can't charge you/pass the matter to the CPS unless they have evidence. If you try to talk to them and hope they believe you, then whether they believe you or not it could mean matters drag on for a long time with bail and the CPS and then it's stopping you seeing your children.
Reading back it sounds like you might have already had an interview with the duty solicitor and are already on bail. So it's a bit of a waiting game to see if they close the case with no further action, or extend the bail. As Dirge says - don't go anywhere near ex or where she lives or try to contact her, otherwise you could end up with a non molestation order on top of everything else and that will make it even harder to see your kids.
I think it could be worth submitting a C100 for a child arrangements order anyway as it's a slow process - but maybe hang fire another 2 or 3 weeks and see if the police close their case.
If you need any help with benefits or accommodation, the citizens advice bureau are good. Assume you have a legal right to be in the country - temporary visa or something? (To be able to make the court application).
Reading back it sounds like you might have already had an interview with the duty solicitor and are already on bail. So it's a bit of a waiting game to see if they close the case with no further action, or extend the bail. As Dirge says - don't go anywhere near ex or where she lives or try to contact her, otherwise you could end up with a non molestation order on top of everything else and that will make it even harder to see your kids.
I think it could be worth submitting a C100 for a child arrangements order anyway as it's a slow process - but maybe hang fire another 2 or 3 weeks and see if the police close their case.
If you need any help with benefits or accommodation, the citizens advice bureau are good. Assume you have a legal right to be in the country - temporary visa or something? (To be able to make the court application).
Do you have one of these? (Biometric residence permit). This whole article has a lot of helpful info.
www.citizensadvice.org.uk
After you get refugee status
Finding new housing and applying for benefits after you get refugee status.
I am on Asylum process. I have ARC card Not yet Refugee.Do you have one of these? (Biometric residence permit). This whole article has a lot of helpful info.
After you get refugee status
Finding new housing and applying for benefits after you get refugee status.
Do you think your wife wants to end the marriage or was it just because she was trying to stop her brother been arrested? I would see if somewhere will provide you with free legal advice. Probs best applying for the c100 as they take awhile to come about.. Also if your wife is granted remain to stay, you want the same to see your children. So better to have applied to the courts to see them.
We had the same claim. I was the main applicant and my wife and kids as my dependent. Know she has asked our previous immigration solicitor to separate the case and hi did separate without my consent. I did also a complaint against him because he didn't protected my interest. She did these things when she was head heated and under her brother pressure. I haven't communicated and being sincere I don't want to be back with her anymore after this situation. As far as I know I can't benefit legal aid (only the victim of domestic abuse can).
That's right, there is no legal aid for family court cases for anyone - except for domestic abuse victims and it's probably even more complicated if you're part way through an asylum process.
Ok so your wife is going through the same process (now separately). I was going to ask that because if she was further on than you it could actually be helpful as the children would then have rights to live here. As presumably she'd say she was the main carer.
I wouldn't worry too much about the cases being separated though.
Totally understand you wouldn't want to get back with her now. However maybe it could be more amicable ongoing which can help with court cases. It can't be right now if you can't contact her. Is her brother always going to be around? If he wasn't on the scene she might be more amenable to wanting to let the kids see you.
But ultimately it sounds similar to many stories of separated couples. It starts with some kind of fight whether with extended family members or otherwise and then you're separated and then it's about sorting things out so you can see the kids.
You have a lot on your plate. I hope you're getting some support. Any friends around or a support worker?
Ok so your wife is going through the same process (now separately). I was going to ask that because if she was further on than you it could actually be helpful as the children would then have rights to live here. As presumably she'd say she was the main carer.
I wouldn't worry too much about the cases being separated though.
Totally understand you wouldn't want to get back with her now. However maybe it could be more amicable ongoing which can help with court cases. It can't be right now if you can't contact her. Is her brother always going to be around? If he wasn't on the scene she might be more amenable to wanting to let the kids see you.
But ultimately it sounds similar to many stories of separated couples. It starts with some kind of fight whether with extended family members or otherwise and then you're separated and then it's about sorting things out so you can see the kids.
You have a lot on your plate. I hope you're getting some support. Any friends around or a support worker?
He doesn't live in the same City, but his presence is through phone every minute. He has been several times arrested for illegal activities. I have no one here in the UK. I am facing this alone. In a hotel room provided by Serco (Home Office). I speak only with my parents in USA and a cousin of mine in Germany. I am attending some classes in College but I can't concentrate.
Presumably you could register with a GP? (Doctor). You could ask them to arrange some counselling so you have someone to talk to regularly. It doesn't fix anything but it's support and it can help you feel ok about various things and give some ideas and like you're not alone.
Hopefully this brother will get arrested again! If you can't concentrate at the classes, just go anyway and try and enjoy the social aspect of it - even if it's just chatting with other people on the course during a coffee break.
Do you go to any church at all? I know there are quite a few churches work with asylum seekers - they help out or provide donated things, and they can offer a welcoming community as well.
If you need to fill in a C100 to apply for a Child Arrangements order, we can help you with that. It's not difficult and you don't need a solicitor.
How do you think it went with the police? Did you show them your videos? Hopefully they'll close the case soon with nfa (no further action).
It's very hard when you can't see your kids, but hang in there and try and keep occupied - even if it's just doing a crossword daily. That kind of thing can help keep you calm and focused. They won't forget you and it will get sorted out, but it can take patience with the system sometimes. The police involvement can add to a bit of time to get it sorted but hopefully that case will be closed soon.
Starting some kind of minor project can help keep the mind occupied and free from worrying too much as well or getting overwhelmed. Might be difficult to do any hands on project but maybe a kind of video diary on a short walk daily? Also I think there are volunteer opportunities for asylum seekers before you can get a work permit. Even something like gardening or painting can be therapeutic and you meet people.
Hopefully this brother will get arrested again! If you can't concentrate at the classes, just go anyway and try and enjoy the social aspect of it - even if it's just chatting with other people on the course during a coffee break.
Do you go to any church at all? I know there are quite a few churches work with asylum seekers - they help out or provide donated things, and they can offer a welcoming community as well.
If you need to fill in a C100 to apply for a Child Arrangements order, we can help you with that. It's not difficult and you don't need a solicitor.
How do you think it went with the police? Did you show them your videos? Hopefully they'll close the case soon with nfa (no further action).
It's very hard when you can't see your kids, but hang in there and try and keep occupied - even if it's just doing a crossword daily. That kind of thing can help keep you calm and focused. They won't forget you and it will get sorted out, but it can take patience with the system sometimes. The police involvement can add to a bit of time to get it sorted but hopefully that case will be closed soon.
Starting some kind of minor project can help keep the mind occupied and free from worrying too much as well or getting overwhelmed. Might be difficult to do any hands on project but maybe a kind of video diary on a short walk daily? Also I think there are volunteer opportunities for asylum seekers before you can get a work permit. Even something like gardening or painting can be therapeutic and you meet people.
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These offer free advice if you want to give them a call.. I know you won't get legal aid but may be able to guide you what is best to do. I think apply for the c100.. Im not sure of Immigration process, does it take long to be aprroved or not approved?
This is also a podcast by a Barrister for family law Immigration cases. Be worth listening to for you, only recent too.
I would like to think your wife would be civil and come to an arrangement with the kids when she's calmed down but we have seen before what some are like.