Ex with kids failed to follow court order

[Sean9895]

Hello everyone,

I'm reaching out to see if anyone here has experienced a similar situation or might have insight into what I can expect moving forward.

Here's a brief overview: I was the primary caregiver for my kids for about six months, living in our family home. During that time, my ex was living with her mother and began a new relationship. Even though we were both on the deed for the house, I was actively looking for alternative housing for myself and the kids, but was only offered hotel accommodations, so I decided to stay put.

On Boxing Day 2022, she came to the house and forced me out. Since then, it’s been a struggle to see my children; I've only managed to see them three times. We're currently going through the court process, and I'm seeking full custody. The court ordered her to bring the kids to her mother’s for our visit, but she failed to show up, leading to a delay in the proceedings. I did get to see them for two consecutive weeks following that, but on the third week, only my youngest came to stay with me.

The day after, despite having a court order, she called the police, claiming I’d abducted my child. Thankfully, I had the court order, which stated I was to pick them up on that date and time. Back in court, she received her final warning. Last weekend, she was again ordered to meet at a halfway point with the kids, but she didn’t show up, once again disregarding the court order.

My solicitor has reached out to the court, and we’re now waiting to hear back on next steps.

Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

 

[Peanut 21]

Where are you at in proceedings?
Is there a final order due?
If so, this is when you bring up her breaches.

 

[Ash]

Hi. Sorry to hear this. The term custody isn't used any more - it was changed to "residency" and then that was changed "lives with" in about 2014. So it's either lives with Mother "spends time with" Father, or vice versa, or it's "Lives with both parents" (what used to be joint residency).

I was going to say it generally doesn't go well if you apply for the children to live with you as that's seen as trying to take them away from the Mother. However, in your current situation, with the ex breaching the orders, it may well end up being that they either live with you or a lives with both parents order (the court sees lives with both as more equal and less to fight over sometimes).

I'm guessing it's an interim order. As Peanut says - what is the next hearing? A DRA or a final hearing? And how long away is it? If it's a few months away and your ex is breaching now, you can submit a C2 and ask the court to enforce the existing order. But good your solicitor is doing something.

 

[Sean9895]

Hello,

I should have mentioned that I’m in Scotland. Here’s where things currently stand:

I was initially supposed to have two visits with my children, but their mother missed the first court-appointed time. We had to return to court, where she was explicitly ordered to bring them at the scheduled time. After those two visits, the next step was for the children to spend a full day at my home. The youngest stayed, but the older one didn’t. After that, their mother completely cut off contact, and I haven’t seen them since.

We went back to court, and last weekend, another order was issued for her to meet with me alongside the children after she had missed previous scheduled visits. Unfortunately, she failed to show up again.

The main reason I’ve been pushing for the children to live with me is due to her previous extended absence and the neglect the kids experienced when they were very young (around ages 1 and 2). During that time, I was the one taking care of them while balancing a job.

On December 13th, we have a Procedural Hearing. I’ve attached the statement from the sheriff’s last order, which she failed to comply with, for reference.