Ex wants to apply to make changes to our child arrangement order

[Rrde8687]

After 2 years of battling my ex took me to court for a child arrangement order. She wanted me to have the children 50/50 which I couldn’t due to work commitments.
The court issued a child arrangement order stating I have them one overnight a week and a long weekend once a month. My ex wanted more but court agreed that I couldn’t maintain this.
It’s worked well for nearly a year, but now my ex has a new relationship and wants me to have the children more.
My ex wants to go back to court and have a new order is this possible?? As my situation hasn’t changed?

 

[Resolute]

Your ex can apply to court to vary a child arrangement order. I have no experience of how an application for less time with the children works.

It sounds like this is a situation where mediation or some other method of Alternate Dispute Resolution would be valuable to you both and the children.

You say the court "issued" an order stating... I would have thought the court would only make an order for time the relevant parent agrees with. If the time parent 1 agrees to have the children, plus the time parent 2 agrees to have the children:

= <365.25 days a year

My speculation is that the court would intervene to ensure welfare of the children is protected.

I am trying to put this delicately and without judgement, so I'll pise it as a question.

What option would the court have other than some form of care order?

I am not for a moment trying to correct your approach.

Let us see what others think on this.

 

[Rrde8687]

We have been to court and had a child arrangement order put in place.
Now she wants me to have them more which I would love to however due to work I cant.
I dont know where I stand as in I cant do more than Im already doing? Will the court say that I have to reduce my hours? Which will mean I can afford child maintenance or my home to have the children my head is all over the place?

 

[Resolute]

Take it slowly.

Your ex has not made a court application yet.

Mediation should precede her application.

Your situation is unusual.

My post was about opening things up for people to throw ideas around. I saw your message has been up for a few hours and I wanted to get the conversation started.

You have my sincere empathy. This stuff is petrifying. I always look at my panic and confusion as providing the energy I need to work out what to do next.

There are many wise and experienced dads on here. They will give ways of developing my initial reflections.

EDIT
And mums, grandparents, step mums, partners...

 

[Rrde8687]

Take it slowly.

Your ex has not made a court application yet.

Mediation should precede her application.

Your situation is unusual.

My post was about opening things up for people to throw ideas around. I saw your message has been up for a few hours and I wanted to get the conversation started.

You have my sincere empathy. This stuff is petrifying. I always look at my panic and confusion as providing the energy I need to work out what to do next.

There are many wise and experienced dads on here. They will give ways of developing my initial reflections.

EDIT
And mums, grandparents, step mums, partners...

Thanks for your advice and comments. My situation is unusual as normally the father wanting to apply for more time.
im fed up of this stress when all i want is to see my children without my ex controlling it

 

[MagicJ]

Hi @Rrde8687 , welcome to the forum.

As you say it's an incredibly unusual situation!

My exposure to this process has shown me that even when you're fighting for more, your likely to get less, so I'd think she's is unlikely to be able to vary in that way.

The only possibility seems to be as @Resolute suggests, an admission on her part that she is unfit to do the care but again SS/Cafcass usually overlook a lot before they get to the point of taking children into care.

My suggestion is that this will be a simple response from an experienced legal representative, ideally a Barrister

Before you pay 300 for an hours session, I'd take a 30m free session with several different solicitors instead and see what the overall consensus looks like and then take it from there.

 

[Ash]

I'd suggest mediation. Discuss it with her. Alternatively you could agree to 50/50 and put childcare arrangements in place - after school clubs, breakfast clubs, relatives etc. My ex used to stick my son in holiday clubs every day during school holidays as she worked full time.

Does your job take you out of the country? Or is it just unsocial hours? I think the thing you need to think about is the kids' welfare - if your ex doesn't want them as much then they will feel that and feel neither parent wants them, I would bend over backwards to step up personally and make whatever arrangements you need to.

 

[Peanut 21]

How old are the kids?