Hi Chaps,
Father of 2, a boy who will be 4 in August and a girl who will be 2 in July.
Even typing the title makes the whole thing sound insane, but basically after almost 9 months of separation, I decided to withdraw a c100 application I had regarding schooling for my son who starts school in September, and moved to the area where his mother had put in the primary school application so I could see more of the children.
The mother and I have slightly complicated work schedules. I don't work Mondays, and she is now dropping down to three-day work weeks, with Wednesday and Friday as non-working days. As I had moved to the area, we were readdressing the schedule so I had more time with the children; however, we have hit a brick wall.
Their mother strongly believes that they need 'consistency' and 'stability,' which, in her eyes, means that they sleep in one place during the school week (we have a fortnightly schedule). Her 'compromise', and the closest we got to an agreement, is the schedule below, where I get them for two weeknights every fortnight (the Monday when they are with me during the day and a Thursday-Friday in the second week).
In her eyes, if she had her way, I wouldn't even get that Thursday evening, but she says she is doing it 'to be fair'. I don't know if I am going crazy, but I cannot understand how someone can believe that only one parent should have them during the week!
I'm not comfortable with her having them every school night, and I think a single night in the week is also disruptive, but for some reason, she is refusing to budge. My suggestion was that I have them on Wednesday night as well (in red), but she just outright refuses, saying she doesn't think it is in the children's best interest.
I am going to speak to my lawyer later, but it seems insane that she can stand by such a claim, and silly that I would potentially have to go to court over a single night! Ultimately, if I did take this further, I would probably end up defending myself (as would she), but also, it seems kind of futile over a single night.
I feel like if I don't make a stand at some point this sort of behavior is just going to continue, but also unsure if the stress and potential restrictions of a child arrangement order are worth it for an extra night with my children.
I just cannot understand how someone can claim that it is better for the children to be with only one parent during the week! I made the point that if we were ordered to do a 5-5-2-2 schedule, it would completely ruin the point of us having days off work, but if stability during the week was so important to her, then that is the alternative, which is silly, but also I don't know how else to get across she is being unreasonable.
I was wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and has any advice or just any comments that might help!
Cheers
Father of 2, a boy who will be 4 in August and a girl who will be 2 in July.
Even typing the title makes the whole thing sound insane, but basically after almost 9 months of separation, I decided to withdraw a c100 application I had regarding schooling for my son who starts school in September, and moved to the area where his mother had put in the primary school application so I could see more of the children.
The mother and I have slightly complicated work schedules. I don't work Mondays, and she is now dropping down to three-day work weeks, with Wednesday and Friday as non-working days. As I had moved to the area, we were readdressing the schedule so I had more time with the children; however, we have hit a brick wall.
Their mother strongly believes that they need 'consistency' and 'stability,' which, in her eyes, means that they sleep in one place during the school week (we have a fortnightly schedule). Her 'compromise', and the closest we got to an agreement, is the schedule below, where I get them for two weeknights every fortnight (the Monday when they are with me during the day and a Thursday-Friday in the second week).
| Days | Morning | Day | Afternoon |
| Mon | M | m | M |
| Tue | M | T | |
| Wed | T | t | T |
| Thu | T | T | |
| Fri | T | t | M |
| Sat | M | M | |
| Sun | M | M | |
| Mon | M | m | T |
| Tue | T | T | |
| Wed | T | t | T |
| Thu | T | M | |
| Fri | M | t | T |
| Sat | T | T | |
| Sun | T | M |
In her eyes, if she had her way, I wouldn't even get that Thursday evening, but she says she is doing it 'to be fair'. I don't know if I am going crazy, but I cannot understand how someone can believe that only one parent should have them during the week!
I'm not comfortable with her having them every school night, and I think a single night in the week is also disruptive, but for some reason, she is refusing to budge. My suggestion was that I have them on Wednesday night as well (in red), but she just outright refuses, saying she doesn't think it is in the children's best interest.
I am going to speak to my lawyer later, but it seems insane that she can stand by such a claim, and silly that I would potentially have to go to court over a single night! Ultimately, if I did take this further, I would probably end up defending myself (as would she), but also, it seems kind of futile over a single night.
I feel like if I don't make a stand at some point this sort of behavior is just going to continue, but also unsure if the stress and potential restrictions of a child arrangement order are worth it for an extra night with my children.
I just cannot understand how someone can claim that it is better for the children to be with only one parent during the week! I made the point that if we were ordered to do a 5-5-2-2 schedule, it would completely ruin the point of us having days off work, but if stability during the week was so important to her, then that is the alternative, which is silly, but also I don't know how else to get across she is being unreasonable.
I was wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation and has any advice or just any comments that might help!
Cheers