Ex refusing to pay for split supported contact

[mva]

We have a final consent court order that specifies the cost of the support worker is split. My ex is now threatening to stop paying this as my CMS contribution has gone down. She hasn’t carried out this threat but if she does what’s my response. Not sending any more solicitors letters, too expensive and just gets ignored.

Side note - my ex lives in mortgage free 1 million £ house and has been to turkey and Doha with the kids this year . She’s loaded, so not an issue of her being unable to afford.

 

[Ash]

Tricky. To enforce her paying for this would mean a return to court with risks attached that there is "confict" between parents and a risk of reduced time possibly.

I suggest you try and smooth things over via correspondence. Which hints you "might" go back to court over it but also shows that if you do end up having to go back to court over it, you tried to be reasonable and resolve matters first.

It's a financial situation basically. She's pissed off because she's suddenly getting less money (whether she needs it or not) so why should she keep to her agreement to pay half the support worker.

Is there a lot of difference in the amount the CMS has reduced? Ie can you afford to say you will continue to pay at the same rate for now and reduce it gradually.

Or you could just sit it out and do/say nothing - if it's court ordered she pays half and she doesn't then she'd be in breach of the order. If you enforced that she would say - things have changed - I have reasonable excuse because he reduced the CMS.

It can actually better to have an informal agreed amount of CMS that doesn't go up and down - particularly if your income fluctuates each year. However not sure of your personal circumstances.

Even if your ex lives mortgage free in a million pound house etc, she will still have a lifestyle that is budgeted for and maybe income isn';t as much as capital. It's unfair I know but do you need the aggro?

 

[Ash]

If you're thinking of smoothing things over re the CMS then maybe send a Biff type email:

"Dear Ex Name

As you're aware, the CMS have recalculated the child maintenance payments from x per month to y per month. I understand you're not happy about this and I am sorry if this has caused any upset. The child maintenance payments are calculated on my income, however, which has also gone down, hence the adjustment. Perhaps we could consider making a family based arrangement for a set amount each month, that doesn't fluctuate, as opposed to a CMS assessment which does fluctuate, so you have certainty ongoing. I propose for now to continue to pay the previous amount for the next 3 months, and then reduce it gradually over the following three months to £x per month (ie a bit higher than the CMS assessment but less than you were paying before). Please let me know your thoughts on this.

As regards the shared cost of the support worker, this is court ordered and we are both under obligation to comply with the court order.

Regards, you."

 

[Ash]

That also covers you if you do have to go back to court and enforce as she then won't have a reasonable excuse for breaching.

 

[mva]

Thanks for advice ash

 

[Ash]

Probably wasn't much help! Sorry. Let us know how it goes.