I live in Scotland and when my ex and I separated over 2 years ago. We tried to live together in Scotland, but it was a toxic environment. She decided to move to Liverpool to be with her mother and took my son with her (Without my consent or custody agreement). We done mediation to discuss arrangements. I explained to both her and the mediator that I do not drive (she does) and it takes using public transport approx 10-12 hours door to door, depending on wait times (and about £150-£300 for train tickets), so this would make me getting him for a weekend very difficult.
The mediator had suggested that rather than getting him at the weekends, I would get him less frequent but for longer periods of time. So I would get him during school breaks and holidays for a week at a time. I agreed to this but mentioned that the number of times I can get him for a week will be limited based on my holidays from work. This was agreed and the mediator said it is very understandable. When it got to the part about travel, I suggest we meet at Preston, which is over half way for me, but its where I would change train. She refused and said that she couldn't afford to travel. So basically if I don't do all the work, I don't get him.
Fast forward 2 years, we have been continuing with this arrangement, I get him for 5-6 weeks each year. Using some work from home todays to stretch my holidays out as much as possible. She is demanding I take him for more time in the summer. I explained that I have already maxed out my holidays, but I could utilise my work from home days and take him for long weekends if she was to bring him up to me and collect him or if she needs more time in the summer, I can replace one of my other planned weeks and get him longer in the summer. (NOTE all our communication is in text, we don't verbally speak) replied with a laughing emoji and said my unwillingness to be a parent is showing.
I have tried to explain that I am doing what I can for my child who lives in a different country and I am trying to be as reasonable and accommodating as I can.
We still haven't finalised the divorce, we have been dealing the division of assets for 2 years due to her not replying for months or her making unreasonable demands. Has anyone had any experience with this? When it comes to the final divorce court, could I get a ruling that she has to meet me half way? Do I get a deduction in Child maintenance for my travel costs? I am currently under the 52 night week threshold, so I am paying full child maintenance.
It soul destroying trying to deal with her. It always leaves me down questioning myself if I am this terrible person she keeps telling me I am.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thank you
The mediator had suggested that rather than getting him at the weekends, I would get him less frequent but for longer periods of time. So I would get him during school breaks and holidays for a week at a time. I agreed to this but mentioned that the number of times I can get him for a week will be limited based on my holidays from work. This was agreed and the mediator said it is very understandable. When it got to the part about travel, I suggest we meet at Preston, which is over half way for me, but its where I would change train. She refused and said that she couldn't afford to travel. So basically if I don't do all the work, I don't get him.
Fast forward 2 years, we have been continuing with this arrangement, I get him for 5-6 weeks each year. Using some work from home todays to stretch my holidays out as much as possible. She is demanding I take him for more time in the summer. I explained that I have already maxed out my holidays, but I could utilise my work from home days and take him for long weekends if she was to bring him up to me and collect him or if she needs more time in the summer, I can replace one of my other planned weeks and get him longer in the summer. (NOTE all our communication is in text, we don't verbally speak) replied with a laughing emoji and said my unwillingness to be a parent is showing.
I have tried to explain that I am doing what I can for my child who lives in a different country and I am trying to be as reasonable and accommodating as I can.
We still haven't finalised the divorce, we have been dealing the division of assets for 2 years due to her not replying for months or her making unreasonable demands. Has anyone had any experience with this? When it comes to the final divorce court, could I get a ruling that she has to meet me half way? Do I get a deduction in Child maintenance for my travel costs? I am currently under the 52 night week threshold, so I am paying full child maintenance.
It soul destroying trying to deal with her. It always leaves me down questioning myself if I am this terrible person she keeps telling me I am.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thank you