Ex Applies to the Court to Appeal/Set Aside Financial Order

[Jumper85]

Well! Just when you think your journey is over, you get another curveball!

My final hearing from financial remedy was in September 2024 when the order was delivered. Done and dusted, I finally knew where I stood despite having 3yrs spousal to pay and walking with my entire pension however debt free and a small deposit to start again.

Unfortunately since the hearing my ex has lost her minimum wage job in February and is having to have a hysterectomy, therefore has a 4-6 weeks recovery period.

Given her circumstances, she's kindly written to me firstly to give me the opportunity to agree to alternative terms before she proceeds to write to the courts. Her terms are;

• An increase in the lump sum that is greater than the equity I would be left with post debt clearance
• Almost double spousal maintenance payments until she returns to work

My research leads me to believe the following;

• A single lump sum payment can not be varied, only instalment lump sums or a series of lump sums
• Therefore her only course would be to try and appeal the original decision on the court order and outcome itself and apply to the court of appeal
• Success rates are extremely rare and only granted in exceptional circumstances, often where there is claims of duress or mis-conduct on the courts part. Alternatively fraud or material mis-representation or disclosure
• The spousal maintenance can be applied to be varied

Am I the first to be in this situation? Not come across such a scenario on here.

 

[Peanut 21]

Sorry if my answer isn't helpful, but surely once a divorce settlement is done the goalposts can't keep being moved.
In this day and age women need to become financially independent after divorce.
Your only obligation is to provide for your kids, not the mother of your kids.

I say let her take you back to court.
It's not your fault she has lost her job and has to have an op.
You're entitled to get yourself back on track.

Also, surely it's too late to appeal?

 

[capa]

I dont wish to come off wrong here but the hysterectomy is that by choice or is that medically backed and needs to have one? The detail here could determine the case if the appeal is accepted, however you are right as I currently still have this feeling my own final agreement may go sideways, as that it has to be significant for the appeal to be sanctioned. I also agree with @Peanut 21 let it take its own course.

 

[Peanut 21]

Another point, she's warned you she plans to appeal to court if you don't agree.
At least you know her next move.
Let her bully and threaten you. Stay calm and call her bluff.

 

[Jumper85]

Agreed, I am letting it take its own course. I put forward as part of the separation and it's written in the financial order that I will continue to cover all the children's costs. I purposely did this, I don't ever want to be accused of not paying for my children.

I've said I could understand her asking for temporary help, no issues with that but not paying 10's of thousands of money that I don't have, I've just not entertained. I've apologised to hear about her circumstances but I went to court to obtain and fair outcome and that is what I got. The children will never go without.

I'm not sure on the timescales of appeal, from what I've read, it's a little vague and all dependent on circumstances.

 

[Scoobydoo]

I have never heard of anyone going back once a final order has been done unless somehow a door was left open. It certainly wasn’t for mine and basically said I could win the lottery the next day and it’s all mine ! And vice versa … !

Of course being child focused I guess your responsibility is to help as a human if struggles are there for the children otherwise it’s .. well your divorced. You can’t keep coming back surely !

 

[Jumper85]

I have never heard of anyone going back once a final order has been done unless somehow a door was left open. It certainly wasn’t for mine and basically said I could win the lottery the next day and it’s all mine ! And vice versa … !

Of course being child focused I guess your responsibility is to help as a human if struggles are there for the children otherwise it’s .. well your divorced. You can’t keep coming back surely !

Thanks Scoobydoo,

I can understand the request to vary the spousal maintenance, no issues with that if she wishes to take that route but it's not because of a change of my circumstances but her own. The courts aren't going to award a greater amount of spousal all because she needs it, it will always be based on affordability and I've certainly not had an improved financial position.

I believe the lump sum final order is final, there are some major exceptions but the bar is extremely high.

I personally feel I've been as supportive as I can, I'm honestly open to challenge if you guys think I'm not but the list is;

• I agreed to commence spousal maintenance payments early having paid 5 instalments to help her secure a better mortgage deal
• I agreed to accept a lower price (£6,000 cost to me £0 to her) for the house so we had a buyer in a far advanced position enabling her to secure her property she wanted given the sellers wanted a quick sale
• I'm paying 100% of all children's costs, this was my proposal, not enforced by the courts
• I've said I'm open to supporting her in some way temporarily but would need greater discussion

I've done more than what I'm mandated to do and more but should I be doing more? NOTE: This is a woman that cheated on me continuously throughout our marriage. Told her friends she was going to bleed me dry and asked for outrageous financial demands not caring once what I was left with or how I'd live. Finally, she CONTINUOUSLY challenges me that I never think about our children. I think in this scenario, it's about her, not the children. Am I not looking after my children if I don't give her this money? She basically wants the increased lump sum, in her words quote, 'the house I'm buying needs a new boiler, kitchen, bathroom, etc.'

 

[Scoobydoo]

I could be wrong here but this sounds bizzare ! Surely firstly it’s way to late to appeal .. and as you say spousal has to be affordable ( I had this applied for and it was refused so can’t remember if it was income based ) . I can’t see this going anywhere .. apart from realising you had a lucky escape ! Is she bonkers. You are divorced and the settlement is done ! .. if this goes anywhere I’m leaving this country and going to live in Tibet .

I’ve had a major op and not been able to work full steam for last 3 years. I can’t go back . It’s almost laughable if it wasn’t stressing you out so much.

 

[Scoobydoo]

Someone is gonna tell me I’m wrong legally and I’ll be packing my bags if this is the case. !

 

[Peanut 21]

Someone is gonna tell me I’m wrong legally and I’ll be packing my bags if this is the case. !

It'll be a beautiful view from the mountains.

 

[childfirst]

Do you really believe she is going to have this operation? Sounds like the type of person who would tarmac your driveway and ask for cash upfront.

 

[Jumper85]

Someone is gonna tell me I’m wrong legally and I’ll be packing my bags if this is the case. !

I'll come with you!

 

[Jumper85]

Do you really believe she is going to have this operation? Sounds like the type of person who would tarmac your driveway and ask for cash upfront.

I think the operation is a real thing but I think the reference to it being cancerous is not.

In short, this is what I've been told;

• She's been unwell for a while and had various tests
• Last test detected a mass (believe it was an MRI scan) and she was told she needed to have a hysterectomy
• They've told her they don't know whether it's cancer, they will only know after the procedure

I've purposely not asked questions, I'm purposely focusing on myself and moving on but I'm sure a biopsy would confirm whether it was cancerous or not and I'm surprised to hear the NHS would complete a full hysterectomy as a precaution in case it was cancer. We're talking about a master liar, so many lies the truth is forgotten!

 

[Scoobydoo]

Sad either way truth or not ! Amd I’m sure like any human you’d support your child’s mother if you can. But legally I think it’s history … will be interesting to see how it goes. It does make you wonder. With cancer would you be thinking about kitchens etc. hell I’d just want to wake up and be alive

 

[childfirst]

I think the operation is a real thing but I think the reference to it being cancerous is not.

In short, this is what I've been told;

• She's been unwell for a while and had various tests
• Last test detected a mass (believe it was an MRI scan) and she was told she needed to have a hysterectomy
• They've told her they don't know whether it's cancer, they will only know after the procedure

I've purposely not asked questions, I'm purposely focusing on myself and moving on but I'm sure a biopsy would confirm whether it was cancerous or not and I'm surprised to hear the NHS would complete a full hysterectomy as a precaution in case it was cancer. We're talking about a master liar, so many lies the truth is forgotten!

From what you have outlined you have been more than fair - In fact full credit for going above and beyond. I guess if she does not ask, you don't get. Only you can decide if you act or if you wait and see. I see no reason why they would come after more. Best of luck

 

[Unknown01]

Her case is incredibly weak. Case law says a simple job loss won't merit an increase. Don't offer anything or she'll keep doing this.

 

[Jumper85]

Her case is incredibly weak. Case law says a simple job loss won't merit an increase. Don't offer anything or she'll keep doing this.

How about cancer though @Unknown01 ?

 

[Peanut 21]

I'm surprised to hear the NHS would complete a full hysterectomy as a precaution in case it was cancer

This is a thing, especially if there's a history of reproductive cancer in her family.
But you're the only one qualified to know if she’s playing you.
Obviously it's a huge thing to have a hysterectomy but it's not your concern. It doesn't then make you liable to pay her bills.

 

[Unknown01]

How about cancer though @Unknown01 ?

Well, that would depend on the terms of the original order, whether she can still work and whether she can still look after the children. Lots of factors to consider and not all in her favour.

If she starts receiving more benefits because she cannot work AND she cannot look after the children 50% of the time, a claim for increased SM is going to be a lot weaker.